Scanner Reports 5-29-20

By Roger the Scanner Guy

I used to work in a Motel about 300,000 years ago when I was a youngin, all kinds of weird stuff goes on in motels. If you all knew what went on in some of those places you might not ever stay in one. I have only stayed in a couple my entire life. Thank God for maids who change the sheets and pillowcases, you never know what you’re laying your head on. Sometimes people would rent rooms and have huge parties in them, they would make all kinds of noise and after warning them several times to “Keep it quiet.” In many cases they would have to be evicted. Most of them kept the noise up and didn’t care. I could have evicted them on my own had I been drinking but regarding business, we had to act professional so in many cases, we had to call the police to stand by while we evicted them. Usually only then with the police standing by would they leave.

One night I went to a show before work, a friends “Old Lady” in her 30’s was playing guitar and singing at Cattleman’s restaurant in the 3700 Block of State. I had to work the graveyard shift down the street so I had a few cups of coffee before work, about 14 or so. I had no idea that Cattleman’s coffee was so STRONG! I went to work after the show and I could not stop shaking. I felt as if my head was going to cave in and be sucked into Hell. I had a really hard time working without thinking of killing everyone around me. I had several complaints in one room and went over a few times to ask them nicely to pipe down, each time they told me to go fuck myself and slammed the door in my face,. After a few times of getting the door slammed in my face and thinking of getting the Louisville Slugger out of the trunk of my Cadillac and giving them all some much-needed plastic surgery, I called the SBPD to help me evict them. The officers who showed up were really nice and professional they looked really nice in their uniforms too. Until one of the assholes who rented the room asked me what my problem was and I snapped and dove at him swinging all the way, the police had to call for back up and dragged me by my feet after knocking me down out of the motel room. I almost went to jail but that was long before they served Soy Dinners.

Anyway what was my point in all this, I forgot can you tell me?  My point is that people rent motel rooms and not only have parties but conduct business in those rooms the business is not always legal. On Thursday, I heard of a couple motels in the 2800 Block of State street where such business was being conducted by juveniles. You might think “What the HELL?” How could a juvenile be allowed to rent a motel room? They are not they get adults to rent them the room they pay the adult a few bucks or whatever to go into a motel and rent a room. It used to be in my day if you lived in Santa Barbara you had to have a credit card to rent a room that was in case the renter was having a party in case of damages, phone deposit etc. Out of towners were able to rent a room without a credit card if they had a deposit for the phone. The place I worked did not like renting to people of color or people with long hair. Every chance I got I rented to people of color and Hippies like myself giving them the lowest possible rate, the people I rented to never started any shit.

One time during Fiesta we had 3 HollyWEED Actors staying in the Motel, HELL One of them did not like my beautiful Coupe De Ville parked next to his V-12. We got into a knockdown drag-out screaming match over my beautiful car he called a Piece of Shit because it was SNOT good enough to be parked next to his Jag. Had there been parking closer than 4 blocks away I would have moved my car but I was not going to move my car for anyone not even T.J. Hooker .I thought for sure my boss was going to fire me but then he would have had to work my shift and he was drunk he did not want to work my shift so he just tried to calm the situation it wasn’t too long after that I got fired. At the time I was angry about it because they made up some bogus reason that wasn’t true they could have just told the truth I was crazy, I was an angry sonof a gun….Anyway with things as they are this Virus the Motel industry is going to Hell I’m sure they are going to be renting to anyone just to make a buck…On THURSday I heard of 5 juveniles renting motel rooms in 2 separate motels in the 2800 Block of State street so HEADS UP Night Motel HELL managers your job is about to get tougher too bad there is no longer a Cattleman’s restaurant serving Killer Coffee to deal with the adult weirdos now you have to worry about kids renting rooms and doing illegal crap too.


Scanner Reports, Wednesday:

  • Medical Aide 3800 Block of State street.
  • Vehicle into a tree 400 Block of Ward Drive.
  • Stolen vehicle 600 Block of West Cota.
  • Fire Test Call Truck 171, Fire test call 121 West Carrillo.
  • SBSO looking for 2 10851pc Auto theft suspects in the area of 4200 Block of Calle Real both HMA.
  • Chase Palm Park Premises check.
  • Burglary to a building under construction in the first block of West Figueroa.
  • Lost Stray Service Dog wearing a service dog vest. Sounds stolen to me 400 Block of West Victoria.
  • Assault Castillo at Montecito suspect possibly on his way to PATH 816 Cacique, not sure if the police ever caught up with the guy.
  • 415 Domestic 1300 Block of East Mason.
  • Smoke investigation inside of a structure 500 Block of La Marina.
  • Possible overdose 15 East Haley.
  • Gas powered leaf blower violation 400 Block of Flora Vista.
  • 415 Family domestic 1400 Block of Euclid.
  • On a possible wanted subject 300 Block of South Milpas Street.
  • Large Homeless Camp near the DMV 535 Castillo.
  • Fire reported out inside of a structure 800 Block of East Carrillo.
  • Possible Carbon Mixode exposure 1300 Block of South Blosser.
  • Report of a 261pc Rape, East Side.
  • Stolen vehicle at Avis rent a car 305 East Haley.
  • Box Canyon Road at Santa Susanna Pass report of a Hillside on Fire.
  • Possible gang types fighting 600 Block of West Cota.


Scanner Reports, Thursday:

  • 459 Burglary to the Sears Auto Center 3845 State street glass broken unknown if anyone is still inside.
  • 8100 Block of Jalama Road subject thrown from a horse injuries.
  • Subject down on the side of the road Highway one at Jalama Road.
  • Keep the Peace while someone picks up their vehicle from a parking lot 100 Block of Oceano.
  • Vehicle vs bicyclist Orcutt at East Foster.
  • 415pc Female yelling inside Carls Junior 7 South Milpas.
  • 415pc Unknown type at the Greyhound station 224 Chapala street.
  • Man in traffic heading South yelling 29 North Milpas street.
  • Trespasser 1800 Block of East Cabrillo.
  • Juvenile calling 911 Over and Over again in the 2400 Block of State street.
  • Thousand Steps One Santa Cruz, female Under the Influence on the beach.
  • 602pc Tresspasser at the Hyatt 1111 East Cabrillo.
  • Traffic Accident with minor injuries Highway 135 at Foster
  • 3 Juveniles possibly selling drugs at the Holiday Lodge 2825 State street alot of vehicle traffic.
  • Unknown if injury traffic accident West Cota at DLV.
  • Juveniles playing on the property of Peabody Charter School 3000 Block of Calle Noguera.
  • 10851 Vehicle theft investigation in the 100 Block of Anacapa.
  • Highway 101 Northbound between Main and Donavan vehicle into a wall.


That is enough outta me for now Have a great Weekend. Peter, Molly, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Midnight, Merlin, Lola, PoPo, Tom Cat, Tomicina, Clancy, Tiger, Shadow, FREDDIE!, Maxwell, Liza, Zoey, Tiny, Andy, FISH HEADS ONE AND TWO, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy David Cox, Po, Marty, Cop John, Diana, Jim, Ross, Rambo, Sherry, Eddie, Bambi, Mark, Willie, Lafayette, Ted,  Pat, Mavis, Ricky, Bengie, Mrs MacArthur, Auntie Helen, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Roger, Father Zimmerman, Joseph, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Kona, Crazy Ed, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry, LUCY!, STOBE THE HOBO, KFC, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo John Havlick, Lucky, Little Mac, Tom Petty, John Prime, Rich Mullins, John Marianna, and Chris willing we will see you on MONday-MONday…Later,  Roger


Written by Roger

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  1. I would not tell anyone for the longest time where I worked but today I will make History by revealing to the world that I worked for the Sand Paper Lodge for a year. Yes it is haunted I was accused of losing 50. in the till they wanted me to admit it for the insurance I refused they fired me. They should have fired me for having a bad temper but I lost 50 Bucks they let me go for that. I really did not lose it the AH Before my shift took it.

  2. Yes me and Old Bill went at it for a long time he might still remember me I finally told him I would move my car for his LAPD ball cap on his dash but he told me to go to hell…Jennifer O’Neil and Larry Wilcox were also there…That was about 1990..

  3. Yes it was Bill Shatner I have gotten into it with others but this was an argument to behold he could really yell. He had a dark green Jag V-12, I had a 77 Coupe De Ville the roof of my car vinyl was ripped up Navy Blue paint with scratched here and there. I had Liberace stuck in the 8-track/cb, and a phony arm hanging out of the trunk…I really miss that car it went over 160mph…

  4. @10:18 I agree with you these homeless encampments need to go. Having this population next to freeways is dangerous for them and for drivers. There are instances of people being hit in the freeway. The most recent was a person on the Castillo off ramp. Hitting a person or swerving to avoid a person while going 70 MPH is catastrophic. For the safety of everyone Cal Trans needs to clear these people out.

  5. There is a large homeless camp under the overpass at Las Positas (southbound side). There is a small homeless camp on the southbound offramp at Las Positas. There is a small and growing homeless camp on the northbound exit ramp at Las Positas. There’s a tent pitched right at the State St. exit up near the road yard. All this in plain sight. Where are the CHP? Where are the city police? Are they testing these people as they build their camps within 6 ft. of passing traffic?

  6. some places..and this might include our town..have a policy of not tearing down the homeless enmampments as doing so will possibly spread the virus into other parts of the community…also..seems like Santa B is not participating with opening up motels rooms etc to the houseless people..

  7. The homeless have been here forever since the beginning of time there are some who choose to live outside others who cannot afford homes. When those programs came out and the shelter was built and they said they was gonna cure Homelessness I thought “What the Fruck?” You cannot cure homelessness it’s a way of life some people prefer living homeless so I thought it was another business granted they have helped many people get off the streets and stay off the streets but it is another industry…Another way to keep people in jobs.

  8. I often get accused of things I didn’t do. It’s hard to prove your innocence , and convince someone that you are innocent … What’s even worse, is being blamed, and not even know you are being blamed….. just start getting those dirty looks, or being unfriended, and the lies that are being told….

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