Scanner Reports 5-28-17

Monday-Monday. I have been posting things on Facebook, but there are others there and I’m on their turf. I like my turf so much better, and I miss everyone. Well almost everyone, lol. Yeah, still laughing at my own jokes. I’m a year older now. Thanks to Pam and Bob for the nice card, it made my day. I’m not a real birthday partying sort of guy. I BBQed some chicken legs and gave Joey a tuna cake. The Fish Heads got shrimp, though it was freeze dried, and I gave Fish Head Sr. too much and now he is ill. My grandfather told me fish had no feelings. Boy was he full of it! He only told me that so I’d clean the weekly catch in Eagle River that summer. “Just tap em on the head, they won’t feel a thing.” Then cut their heads off. I did it, 330 fish, their heads all in a pile staring at me. My grandfather lied. The fish looked sad. They were sad, they had feelings. When Granddad got old and his time was upon him, I just tapped him on the head, he didn’t feel a thing. Just kidding! I bet you thought I really did it for a second didn’t ya?

Here’s your Scanner Roni Reports, FRYday:

• Injury traffic accident, medics, Sutton at San Pasqual.

• Suspicious circumstances, 300 block of East Yanonali involving the possible theft of a propane tank. R.P. thinks subjects are involved in suspicious behavior. They were somewhat; police discovered a huge homeless camp at Garden and 101 southbound. Police cleared out the camp and some of the subjects are sleeping around Milpas. Never heard anything else about the propane tank.

• Medical emergency for a female having delusions, no address, it was in North County. A child called it in, got his Aunty some help. Good kid.

• Medical call, Dwight Murphy Park.

• Medical emergency unknown type in the bushes 4900 Block of Carpinteria Ave in Carpinteria.

• Clementine’s Restaurant, 4600 block of Carpinteria, broken into.

• Audible alarm in a residence in the 2200 block of Chapala.

• Minor injury accident, Bath and Montecito.

• Subject detained at Cottage Hospital for possession of heroin.

• Restraining order service in the 200 block of South Milpas. I hope it’s SNOT me!

• Premises check, Alice Keck Park.

• Check the welfare of a subject living in the 3700 block of San Remo.

• Patterson overpass vehicle accident.

• Male under the influence down on SBHS property, 700 block of East Anapamu.

• Highway 101 at Storke Road, ladder in the southbound lanes.

• Medical call unknown type Salvation Army, 423 Chapala.

• Check the Welfare of a woman standing on the train tracks, 1800 block of East Cabrillo.

• 60 year old male got violent near the Habit on Milpas.

• Domestic violence at Lilly’s, 35 Parker Way. Suspect not on scene, he ran away before police responded. He threw his victim against a vehicle and punched her in the face.

• 200 block of West Cabrillo subject exposed himself to a motel guest.

• Suicidal subject wants to overdose on heroin, 15 Chapala Street.

Scanner Reports, Saturday:

• 300 block of East Foster in Santa Maria, assault.

• Female yelling at the Rescue Mission, transported to Cottage for CARES.

• Buena Vista care center requesting SBSO for a semi combative patient.

• SBPD on a group, 800 block of North Milpas.

• Medical call, seizures on the ramp at the Breakwater near Brophy Brothers.

• Subject with warrants in the 500 block of East Canon Perdido.

• Elderly fall victim, 200 block of West Sola.

• 900 block of Highway 246, fall victim from a horse, medical call.

• Female yelling at Alice Keck Park.

• Fall victim at Santa Barbara Cemetery, 900 block of Channel Drive.

• Two dogs involved in a dog fight near the waterfront. One injured did not hear the whole call so not sure exactly where it happened on the waterfront.

• Medical call, fall from a tree at Lake Los Carneros.

• Unknown type disturbance at Marshalls in the 900 block of Chapala.

• Two females dumping human waste in public, 100 block of Powers.

• Death at the El Carrillo, 315 West Carrillo, RIP.

• Subject walking into businesses causing problems, mostly at Haywards Lumber. Kicked in a door, broke into a shed, ripped off a fire extinguisher, sprayed vehicles. SBPD got him in the 400 block of Olive.

• Found property on the beach in Carpinteria, a purse. R.P. at the Sandyland Reef Motel.

• Juvenile with blood on his face being chased by 2 other males, 1100 block of Chapala.

• Truck vs motorhome, minor injuries, 200 block of East Gutierrez.

• Highway 101 northbound at Highway One, vehicle vs motorcycle, 2 riders on motorcycle, both injured.

• Fall victim, Val Verde, head injury, 3700 block of Modoc.

• Drunk Driver left GVCH at around 8pm.

Scanner Reports, Sunday:

• 9500 block of Jalama Road, Lompoc, vehicle accident.

• Neighbors disturbing, 300 block of West Mission.

• Traffic violation, vehicle parked in the middle of the street, 200 block of West Mission.

• Mentally disturbed subject causing disturbance in the 5200 block of Overpass Road.

• Indecent exposure on Parker Way, subject walking around a store with his pants open. That is not necessarily intentional; sometimes zippers fail us.

• Attempted theft of beer at La Bamba Market in the 200 block of West Micheltorena, suspect heavyset WMA in his 40’s, last seen toward the overpass.

• Fall victim head injury 700 block of Calle Los Amigos.

• Non injury hit and run investigation, La Cumbre Mall, the Habit.

• Drug sales hand to hand in the 1000 block of State Street.

• Subject disturbing in the 100 block of East Figueroa.

• Medical call for seizures, 1600 block of Garden.

Fall victim, broken wrist, Alphonse at Milpas.

• Medical call at the coin phone, 1020 Chapala, seizures.

• Medical call at the Habit, 628 State, for seizures.

• Audible alarm in the 200 block of Santa Barbara Street, no crime.

• Subject challenging others to fight on San Pasqual at Anapamu.

• Subject down in the 2100 block of Oak Park Lane.

• Traumatic injury at the softball field, McKenzie Park. Kid hit in face with a ball.

Will that is all outta me for now. Have a great Monday. Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Clancy, Poncho, Jerry, Elmo, Jonathan, C.J., Walter, Fred, Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Cory, Don, Magruder, Edwin, Isabelle and Jerry, Rambo, Sherry, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, and Chris willing, we will see you on Wednesday. Later, Roger


Written by Roger

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