Scanner Reports 4-15-19

By Roger the Scanner Guy

I hope ya’all had a good weekend, mine was OK. Looking at the comments on various topics on Edhat one sentence comes to my mind concerning all our gathered thoughts on these subjects: Paseo Nuevo, location of the Police Station, locking up homeless, mentally ill folks in LOCK DOWN!, recalling the Mayor and Silly Council, housing, roundabouts, aggressive panhandlers, sanctuary cities, liberals, right weiners, Republicans, Democrats, Donald and Hillary, Deltopia, marijuana, booze, where is the Farmers Market going to go?, turning State Street into Slab City, Building, Building, Building, the Drought, just to name a couple. When I think of all this  the sentence that comes to mind is…”This isn’t Burger King you can not have it your way.”

It doesn’t matter what I think. the decision has already been made on most of the issues, the other stuff is just opinions. On the homeless including the mentally ill folks, these people have rights you cannot just lock them up unless you’re the LAW Dog Man! Even then if they did something minor or nothing at all, their LOCK DOWN time will be short, 72 Hour Hold or so. Maybe if we had a Burger King here we could have it our way but we don’t not anymore. Kind of a dumbass saying but it makes me laugh Dumb Bass that I yam.

Well, a couple of burglars got away SaTURDay night, but SUNday morning one got caught. Someone mentioned there has been a lot of burglaries lately there has but there has always been a lot of burglaries around here either Commercial, Auto, or Residential take your pick. When I worked for Romer Security 30 years ago we had a guard who guarded 9 East Pedregosa. I used to drop off covfefe for them in the middle of the night. I remember I dropped off coffee at the Santa Barbara Cemetery too, people were dying to get in there. You can’t stop a determined thief but you can change the direction in which they are going. I like arguing with others in the Edhat comment section it is kinda annoying getting Down Voted all the time but that just means the Truth Hurts and I’m Right it’s Ok I understand plus the Down Voter has OCD I kinda feel sorry for him. That’s my MILPAS UNDERPANTS AND HE IS STICKING TO THEM!!! Here are your Scanner Reports.

Scanner Reports, Friday:

  • 10851 Stolen Vehicle a Toyota Land Cruiser from Randolph Street Part Plate 6KHS4??
  • Suspicious subject hanging out inside of store and acting weird staring at people Dear Diary 913 State street.
  • Topless female at Guiterrez and Santa Barbara streets.
  • 20002 Non injury hit and run at Mc Donalds, suspect stopped at Nopolitos and Kimball suspect in a Tree Trimming Truck.
  • Verbal 415 outside of Marina 2 Harbor Patrol there.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject sitting on the rail of the Micheltorena street over crossing.
  • 415 Transient disturbing at Natoma and Chapala.
  • 415 Transient disturbing 3000 Block of Chapala.
  • Fall victim head injury 8 West Figueroa.
  • 242 Assault Ralphs 100 Block of West Carrillo suspect a HFA heading toward Saks.
  • Vehicle vs a child Turnpike at Carvato.
  • 1400 Block of Lou Dillion 2 male juveniles trying to hold up another juvenile possibly drunk later on heard there might be more involved in the call.
  • 415 Transient refusing to leave 3405 State street.
  • 5 Male juveniles refusing to leave an address in the 800 Block of State street.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject walking NorthBound on the Rail Road Tracks from Mission street.
  • Suicidal subject with a knife on Broadway in Santa Maria was screaming but mellowed out quick when the SBSO Arrived guess they did not really want to die.
  • Check the Welfare of a male down Milpas and Mason.
  • 415 Domestic involving Child Custody on Hickory Street.
  • Restraining Order Violation 30 Winchester Road.
  • Highway 101 Northbound but South of Padaro Traffic Accident.
  • Nopolitos at Cacique 415 Transient possibly Under the Influence.
  • Attempt 484 Chew Tabacco 11 South Milpas Suspect got a way without product 2013 Dodge Charger coming back to an address on La Sumida Lane.
  • Right after that call I heard the SBSO talking about the Dodge Charger involved in the Farren Road Robbery they thought they had it but it was a different vehicle.
  • Keep the Peace First Block of South Soledad.
  • 459 Burglary investigation 100 Block of Remetto Road.
  • 211 Armed Robbery with a real gun Guadalajara Market 601 West De La Guerra.
  • 417 Brandishing Nunchakus in Vera Cruz Park 130 East Cota street.
  • 415 Transient sitting in a parking lot talking to himself so what? Who in the Hell are you going to talk to when there is no one there?
  • 242 Assault investigation 200 Block of De Paul Drive.
  • 1145 Suicidal subject 1900 Block of Chino.
  • 20002 Non injury hit and run in the 800 Block of North Milpas a black Dodge Charger last seen Southbound.


Scanner Reports, Saturday:

  • 415 Fight just woke up my Scanner Report Alarms in the form of code 3 sirens going off in my head on their way to that fight possibly Mission at San Pascual, code 2 Medics for a hand laceration.
  • Code 40 Drunk escapee from the grasp of the Medics around Cottage Hospital some wheres possibly South on Bath street he was picked up in the 100 Block of State street.

I used to escape the Sober Center all the time and it was scary thinking of which street to take back to the Shop so I wouldn’t get caught. One time I made it to La Bamba about 3am an Officer pulled up next to me in his patrol car and asked me If I was OK? I said “Yeah” he drove off…I though aloud(Because I talk to myself all the time)” What the HELL was that about?” I made it all the way to Mission and State street still bloody from my rampage of windows drunk I punched out windows across from the Alano Club, and over by the Post Office, and dove into some poor lawyers window I did not know….Anyway there I was at Mission and State street 4.00 Bucks in my pocket I went into AM-PM Stuffed a bunch of sandwitches down my pants, chips, got a small coffee and a cheap pack of smokes paid for those got back up to the corner waiting for the light to change heard someone clear their throat….A second later several others somewhere behind me clearing their throats then someone laughing I froze and slowly turned to the right…Across the street over at Johns Mobil about 8 Police Cars I yelled “OH SHEEEEEEET! And took off running in slow motion like a Fat Ass Bat Outta HELL!  I weighed 420 pounds back then I was a Drinking Drunk qall that alcohol put alot of weight on my bones those Coppers were acouple hundred feet behind me I had 50 feet in front of me to my escape….I barely made it they were right there I put the key in the door turned it opened slammed it shut right on them….Heeheehee they were pissed. I got away from them several times I better never drink again Huh?

  • Premises check Washington School.
  • Trash Fore 1000 Block of Chapala.
  • Suspicious brown van 100 Block of Quarantina occupied by 2  registered in Goleta.
  • Carrillo at Miramonte vehicle parked against traffic.
  • Med call for an ill subject in a green van Montecito at Quarantina.
  • Vehicle vs Fence non injury Chumash Casino Highway 246 3400 Block.
  • Short Foot Pursuit East Bound on Haley near Quarantina one in custody 607 East Haley don’t know why he ran or what he was wanted for. I don’t want him do you?
  • Suspicious subject near the creek in Stevens Park.
  • Premises check Ortega Park.
  • In Market Place there was a 415 Road Rage sort of thing where a female was parked ion Handicapped parking and a man thought she was unqualified to be handicapped and blocked her in with his vehicle. I guess he found out different and got the HELL outta Dodge before the SBSO Arrived.
  • Keep the Peace reporting party needs to pick up property in the 1200 Block of Holly Springs.
  • Drunk male in McKenzie Park.
  • Road Rager almost hit a kid on Ellwood Station Road.
  • Follow up call on the West Side shooting call the night before in the 700 Block of West Anapamu.
  • Overdose on 80 Anxiety pills on Ellwood Beach.
  • Premises check Franklin School.
  • 2 Code 40, Drunks hanging out in the parking lot of the Sears Auto Center 3845 State street. That is going to make a great camp site the Sears Parking Lot. all those bushes.
  • 415 Between reporting party and an Unknown female in the 300 Block of East Carrillo.
  • Stolen vehicle investigation 700 Block of Bond.
  • Code 60 vehicle blocking 500 Block of West Alamar.
  • Med call  Oak Cottages Fall Victim with a head laceration.
  • Drinker at BevMo.
  • Drunk male from the 1200 Block  of State street panhandling and yelling.
  • Subject playing the guitar and smoking 509 State street.
  • Threats investigation 1400 Block of DLV.
  • Burglary investigation in the 400 Block of Montgomery.
  • Report of 2 drunk 13 year old female juveniles in the parking lot of Washington school 290 Lighthouse.


Scanner Reports, Sunday:

  • Went to bed around 11pm after posting the burglary on Sea Cliff woke up around 5:30am turned on the Scanner Burglary in Progress 9 East  Pedregosa but this guy got caught. Barricaded in the attic chewed up by the K-9 Went to Cottage then to jail…GOOD WORK SBPD And the K-9  I don’t know his or her name.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject sleeping on the sidewalk in the 400 Block of Anacapa.
  • Fall victim med call 3900 Block of Mesa Circle.
  • Caught part of a BOLO Stolen vehicle 300 Block of North 3rd street White Honda civic Westbound on Chestnut 245pc on a motorcyclist all I heard my Mama was screaming in my other ear at the time.
  • 23103 Blue Bus that did not stop for passengers on East Cabrillo and smelled of Alcohol last seen entering Highway 101 Southbound at Cabrillo. I would not want top be on that bus.
  • 415 Subject yelling at PATH 816 Cacique then crossed the street to yell at the guys at Station 2.
  • 415 Transient possibly Steve P. Sunkin Gardens.
  • Med Call 1200 Block of Coast Village Road.- SBPD on a group Nopolitos at Powers.
  • Possible overdose 1000 Block of Cliff Drive.
  • Fall  Victim 2600 Block of Samarkland med call.
  • 415 Domestic  sounded like 5300 Block of Camino De Cielo female heard screaming.
  • 415 Between Mother and Son in a parking lot of Carls Junior 7 South Milpas.
  • Check the Welfare of the reporting parties Son sleeping near the tracks at Castillo he cannot walk so well, WMA 50’s.
  • 3400 Block of Richland female knocking on doors attempted to get into reporting parties vehicle WFA wearing a white robe, CARES.
  • In Santa Ynez not saying where Suicide did not hear how.
  • 415 Customer refusing to pay at the El Paseo 812 Anacapa.
  • 415 Kite fliers flying kites in a NO FLYING KITE ZONE! Actually flying kites next to a sign that says…”DO NOT FLY KITES.” In Orcutt Park, kids.
  • 415 Transient hit an Ambassador with their duffle bag in the 500 Block of State street.
  • Subject locked in the parking lot at McKinley School police don’t have keys so they might be there till MONday-MONday.


Anyway that is all outta me for now Have a Wonderful MONday-MONday..Peter, Molly, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Tom Cat, Clancy, Tiger, Thomicina, Maxwell, Shadow, FREDDIE! Midnight, Merlin, Lola,PoPo, Tiny, Andy, Fish Head, One, and Two, Poncho, Denny Deem, Jerry,  Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J.,Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Rambo, Sherry,Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, David Cox, Po, Marty, Cop John, Eddie, Bambi, Pat, Mavis,Bengie, Ricky, Lafayette, Ted, Willie, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Crazy Ed, LUCY! STOBE THE HOBO, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Tom Petty and Chris Willing we will pee you on WEDnesday. Later,  Roger


Written by Roger

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