Scanner Reports 4-12-19

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Everything still is as it was on WEDnesday, some different crimes yet still the same, it really depends (if they are leaking) how you look at it. It seems like there are more people signing complaints about arrests, on WEDnesday a woman was shoved by a male, I’m not sure if they knew each other, he got arrested for 242pc Assault she was willing to sign. There were a couple others the other day for 415pc Disturbances a subject yelling in McDonalds Downtown, another one going poopy, or pee pee on private property, the reporting potty’s were willing to sign. There were a couple naked men on WEDnesday one was in the process of removing his clothing at Carrillo and DLV. He ended up near Mel’s by the time the SBPD arrived police requested code 2 Medic’s for him as he may have been under the influence of alcohol. The otter was in the 500 Block of Nino’s Dwight Murphy Park he might have been under the influence of the warm weather stay tuned for more sightings of naked people as the weather heats up.

I saw Jesus the otter day in the MILPAS UNDERPANTS of all places he was sitting against the Northbound wall wearing a grey ball cap with his name in red lettering on it “Jesus” it said and he was eating Rite Aide ice cream right out of the carton. They must be on sale because he had another carton next to him. Jesus was taking a break with his favorite comfort food from all this bull shit going on in Murica. I heard this call  that  someone unworthy of being called a man threatened to shoot a boys dog for running on HIS PROPERTY in the 1900 Block of Highway 154, I thought I heard that he also threatened to shoot the boy. I thought I was hearing things no one could be that Heartless. Still is as always it seems there are many suicidal calls everyday people who are depressed and feeling suicidal or attempting suicide. I heard several calls on WEDnesday I wonder where they take  all the depressed people hospitals and PHF must be packed with as many calls that I hear…Meanwhile NIMBYS in Santa Barbara want all the emotionally disturbed people wandering the streets in LOCK DOWN where in their words is WHERE THEY BELONG….Here are your Scanner Reports.

Scanner Reports, Wednesday:

  • 459 Audible Alarm SBCC 729 Cliff Drive.
  • Transient refusing to leave the patio of the Victoria Hotel 24 East Victoria.
  • 415 Transient Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf 3000 Block of DLV
  • Premise check the Labor Line.
  • Med Call, Cachuma Lake camp grounds possible stroke.
  • Graffiti tagging behind the 1300 Block of State street.
  • 2 Juveniles locked in a van 2000 Block of Cliff Drive.
  • Transient female harassing children in the 100 Block of State street.
  • Women raiding the Buffet at the Marina Beach Motel.
  • Missing, Elderly Found.
  • 314 Indecent Exposure subject exposing himself top of parking lot 9,  900 Block of State street.
  • Subject refusing to get out of a county vehicle in front of PATH 816 Cacique.
  • Non injury accident 1800 Block of Santa Barbara street.
  • 4 To 5 Juvenile gang type in an alleyway behind the 200 Block of West Ortega throwing rocks at a red pick up truck.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject in the 200 Block of North Milpas street.
  • Fraud investigation possible subject attempting to buy 500 Dollars worth of gift cards at Albertsons on Casitas Pass with something other than moola.
  • 415 Subject 415 Disturbing in front of Cottage ER  2 Times.
  • Vehicle vs Motorcycle Southbound Mission Off Ramp minor injuries.
  • Naked man Dwight Murphy across from the tracks 500 Block of Nino’s Drive BMA.
  • Former employee refusing to leave business in the 600 Block of East Guiterrez.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject removing his clothing at DLV and Carrillo possibly under the influence.
  • Overdose on medication 500 Block of East Canon Perdido.
  • 415 Verbal 1900 Block of Highway 154 Reporting party says a subject is threatening to shoot their Son after their dog ran on the subjects property, threatened to shoot the kid and the dog.
  • Theft investigation Val Verde on Los Amigos possibly another resident.
  • Wallace street somewheres in the county near that street a report of a female sitting in the middle of the rail road tracks.
  • Broken water pipe in a vacant field 112 East Cota.
  • 242 Assault by shoving 200 Block of East Haley victim signed complaint abuser was arrested.
  • Vehicle theft investigation 1100 Block of Laguna.
  • Attempt theft from Macys 3805 State street suspect drove away in a red Chevy pick up


Scanner Reports, Thursday:

  • 459 Burglary Alarm in the 200 Block of North Calle Caesar Chavez.
  • 242pc Assault at the Rose Garden Inn in the 3600 Block of State street a female victim, male aggressor.
  • 415pc Female screaming in Bohnett Park.
  • 415 Conservative on a patio refusing to leave in the 3300 Block of State street.
  • Leash violation McKenzie Park.
  • Subject having a panic attack after finding his missing wallet in his roommates room 1900 Block of Castillo street.
  • Their Neice keeps sneaking in the house and going to sleep on the couch 500 Block of West Sola.
  • SBPD on a Conservative in the 800 Block of Cacique probably campaigning.
  • Naked male walking South from the 3900 Block of State street first noticed in front of BIG 5. He got way down to La Cumbre Plaza after stopping by Target for some window shopping.
  • 1144 Dog rest in peace Highway 101 Southbound Mission street Off Ramp.
  • Drinker 100 Block of Nopolitos.
  • Premises check Labor Line on East Yanonali.
  • Campers 800 Block of Cacique.
  • SBPD Officer had a detail at SBJH 700 Block of East Cota.
  • Smoking violation in the 100 Block of East Arrellaga.
  • Little Red Charley Manson Lookalike Hood was panhandling at the Habit 216 South Milpas I never heard the call I saw him and I’m snitching him out here.
  • White Ford truck into the fence at Loves Towing and trying to get away but didn’t 200 Block of East Haley.
  • Vehicle fire highway 101 Southbound near San Ysidro off ramp.
  • Graffiti with a Sharpie in the 200 Block of West Carrillo HMA 30’s caught.
  • 1100 Block of State street a Drunk woman wearing a pink nightgown parked her vehicle in the 1100 Block of State street and approached vehicles she was driving a white Maxima probably impounded now because she got caught.
  • Code 40 Drunk down 3900 Block of State street.
  • BOLO Black sports bike no plates rider wearing black shirt South Bound on Hope at a high rate of speed no pursuit just Be on the Lookout for CHP.
  • 417pc Subject brandished a stick at the Anapamu footbridge.
  • 415 Domestic verbal 800 Block of North Voluntario.
  • Premises check Plaza Del Mar.


I saw this the other day on FaceBook and wrote it down…” I guess the only time most people think about injustice is when it happens to them.” Charles Bukowski.  He was right about that and most other things the great Charley wrote. I had the opportunity to meet him but I was on the wagon at the time and was afraid I would go out and get drunk. I look back and wish I would have I was afraid of everything when I was in a 12-Step group when I quit I wasn’t afraid of being around booze anymore 16 years without Go Figure It is what it is. Different strokes Different folks I even got booze in my cabinet it’s there I have a friend who is in AA he has booze in his cabinet too I’m not going to say whom he is but for me and this guy to have booze in our cabinets after our last drunks pretty gnarly..Anyway Have a Splenda weekend….Peter, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Tom Cat, Clancy, Tiger, Thomicina, Maxwell, Shadow, FREDDIE! Midnight, Merlin, Lola, PoPo, Fish Head One, and Two, Andy, Tiny, Denny Deem, Poncho, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J.,Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Rambo, Sherry, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, David Cox, Po, Marty, Cop John, Pat Mavis, Eddie, Bambi, Bengie, Ricky, Lafayette, Ted, Willie, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Crazy Ed, LUCY! STOBE THE HOBO, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Tom Petty, and Chris willing we will pee you on MONday-MONday..Later,  Roger


Written by Roger

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  1. Not surprised that someone called it in…. “”” 415pc Female screaming in Bohnett Park.””””…. That was at the little Bohnett Park Annex, on San Andres street…. She looks older, very tall and very thin, and VERY VERY loud….. YELLING at invisible enemies…

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