Scanner Reports 8-28-17

Monday, Monday, and another heat wave of sorts. I hope I don’t melt. I always get worried when I see those extreme heat reports, ‘cause in my little house always gets 10 degrees hotter, and at night I feel like I’m lying in a micro wave oven with the door locked. A Twilight Zone, To Serve Man, Microwavable Man in the new EZ lock containers. I’d be a cheaper one because I got a lot of fat on my bones or maybe they could make microwavable soup outta me. If it gets too hot I turn the cold water on in the shower and step on in there for a bit. Within 15 minutes on real hot days, after I get out of the shower I’m dried off and ready to go back in again. What is really scary are those weather reports in the desert, or in Arizona. I would fry there and not the good way. If I had my choice of weather from all the seasons, I think I would like fall the best, where it’s cooler outside but not too cool, just right. But then we have the four seasons, so we get a little of each. Though this is California so our seasons are different than others. Though it can go below freezing, it’s not below zero, nor does it ever get as hot as it does in the desert. I guess in the words of Baby Bear, it’s just right as compared to other places, though I would like more rain myself. That would pretty much make it perfect then. Enough rain to fill Cachuma every year.

I got a new fan who hates my guts. One who visits with people nearby and when she hears my scanner, she gives me very dirty looks and she thinks I’m a cop. Which I am not, but I like cops more than ignorant fools who can come in all shapes, sizes, as well as colors. I don’t like racist people at all. And racist people are not all white, even though many people seem to think they are just an excuse to dislike someone or start shit. What might be better for this person to feel more comfortable about the situation in her head is to take her medication or go somewhere else, since she is visiting someone nearby to where I live, crossing my boundaries, trying to make me feel uncomfortable in my home. Like I should turn off my scanner so she won’t feel so uncomfortable. Tough poop, I say. Don’t like it go away! Be Gone!

I think I just might have to get me one of those PA systems. Or maybe a Barney Fife hat to wear when I’m doing my thang. Anyway, enough free rent in my head to that one.

Here is your Scanner Reports, FRYday:

  • Burglary to 2 vehicles on the Mesa.
  • Carpinteria High School got hit too.
  • Campers in the creek bed 1100 block of Punta Gorda.
  • Another camper in a trailer at Alamar and Maryland Way.
  • Premises check for more campers, Highway 101 and the southbound Garden onramp.
  • Two more campers in an RV refusing to exit it in the 500 block of West Arrellaga.
  • The neighbors are fighting over kids playing outside in the 500 block of Myrtle.
  • Male disturbing at McDonalds in the 3900 block of State Street.
  • Medical call, diabetic with chest pains, 400 block of East Cota.
  • Theft investigation, 23 Hitchcock Way.
  • Two WMA’s outside of McDonalds drinking alcohol.
  • Traffic stop a white Honda 3800 block of State Street.
  • Medical call at Home Improvement, a cashier feeling faint.
  • Possible overdose, 315 West Carrillo subject in front on a bus bench.
  • Burglary in the 4000 block of Via Lucero.
  • Public Assist for evicting unwanted motel guests from the Rose Garden Inn in the 3600 block of State Street.
  • Premises check, Pershing Park.
  • Drug bust in the Milpas UNDERPANTS.
  • I noticed a camper with his sleeping bag on the sidewalk right in front of the Habit, thought that was pretty interesting.
  • Domestic male female shoving each other, and then male banging his head on the ground. Must be in a relationship the part where the male is banging his head on the ground is actually pretty normal.
  • Burglary to a garage, 4000 block of Via Lucero.
  • Bum challenging the reporting party to a fight because he refused to hand over some money at Amtrak. It’s too bad the reporting party isn’t Charles Bronson.
  • Assault at the rescue mission, client throwing things, yelling, spitting on employees.
  • Landlord tenant in the 100 block of North Milpas.
  • Live band, Metcliff at Mesa Lane.
  • Neighbors fighting over a cat in the 500 block of West Canon Perdido. I hope nothing happens to that cat.
  • Assault investigation with a bottle (yep bottles don’t always break like they do in the movies), 700 block of Bond, occurred Thursday night.
  • Speaking of bottles, a subject was brandishing one at a victim in the 300 block of West Montecito Street.
  • Burglary in the 800 block of West Anapamu, subject was caught.

Scanner Reports, Saturday:

  • Traffic on a bicyclist in the Garden Underpass. Ran for wants and warrants, on probation for drugs, but clear otherwise. He was let to go on his way.
  • Campers on Shoreline at La Marina along the fence line.
  • Suspicious white van in the 300 block of Anacapa.
  • North side of town a non-injury hit and run by a WMA in his 50’s driving a white Dodge.
  • Vehicle vs tree in the 1700 block of Purisima Road.
  • Residential Burglary 300 East or West Montecito. I get mixed up on Montecito 300 block, because the police are always going to 331 West Montecito. But I think this time it was East.
  • SBSO requesting SBPD in the 4100 block of State Street on an unknown type call.
  • Burglary in the county, sounded like Coda Street, 1100 block. Could have been Cota, but it wasn’t in Santa Barbara City.
  • Suicidal subject tried to strangle himself with a chain and was very combative at PATH, 816 Cacique, security restrained him and SBPD sent several units code 3 (lights and sirens). Also medics responded for transport to Cottage.
  • Non-injury accident was reported as an injury accident but wasn’t, 1100 block of Coast Village Road.
  • Report of a man face down at Rocky Nook Park, never heard any more about that.
  • Transients disturbing, 1118 East Cabrillo.
  • Traumatic injury 600 block of East Ocean.
  • Check the welfare of a female at the bus stop, Baseline at Rucker.
  • Female yelling racial slurs downtown off Figueroa. They were unable to locate.
  • Vehicle into a sign on Davenport non-injury.
  • Loud music, Oak Park.
  • Fight, two females were going at it at Los Positas and State Street, physically fighting.  I don’t know why they were fighting, they did not get caught. I assumed it was Road Rage, but it could have been anything.
  • Assault in the 3500 Block of State Street at the Motel 6. First reported as a possible shooting (I posted that one a little too fast). It was an Assault of some kind. Dispatcher said there were injuries to his ears and hands. But it sounded like a possible gunshot then something about his rear. Then the dispatcher said he was walking to Chic-Fil-A. I’m like, Huh?? She did say possible shooting, then gunshot either ear or rear after that he’s walking to Chic Fil A. I’m thinking ‘dude got shot in the rear, he ain’t walking nowhere. Then she said it wasn’t a gunshot, thank the good Dog, because I was getting awfully confused.
  • I got stabbed in the rear once, in the right cheek. I was digging in a dumpster for stuff in the back of Aaron Brothers on State Street, and this drunken idiot friend of mine miscalculated sticking me. If that wasn’t bad enough, back then dumpster lids were metal and this S.O.B. came down on my head, knocking me half outta my head. Yea, he laughed too.
  • Reckless or DUI driver southbound, red Hyundai Hatch Back registered out of Los Angeles.
  • Drunk in traffic, eastbound on Constance.
  • Assault investigation at Gelson’s possibly in the parking lot in the 3300 block of State Street.
  • Domestic in the 1200 block of Oak Knoll, verbal not physical.

Scanner Reports, Sunday:

  • Subject spit on reporting party at Ralphs, 100 West Carrillo. Spitting on someone is assault.
  • Check the welfare of an animal in a white Ford Explorer in the 1100 block of Coast Village Road.
  • BOLO, 8-10 motorcycles speeding from Arroyo Burro Beach around a curve in the 3100 block of Cliff Drive. I call it Hendry’s Beach, not the other name.
  • Three quarter miles up Gibraltar on East Camino Cielo bicyclist down, injured also.
  • Medical emergency, Ortega at State Street, chest pains.
  • Burglary, possible squatters, 1100 block of Barnett Road.
  • Vehicle theft investigation, 3800 block of State Street, all I heard about that so far.
  • Check the welfare of a subject out of his wheelchair between the bridge and tennis courts at Oak Park.
  • Santa Barbara at Canon Perdido, grey Honda out of Texas. Maybe they got blown up here.
  • Medical, 200 Block of Gray Ave, dizzy subject then passed out.
  • Burglary to a vehicle, 2nd floor Paseo Nuevo parking structure.
  • Hollister and Walnut, male yelling that he is going to kill someone behind a wall.
  • Casino thieves from the Casino to Lompoc pursuit. They did not quite make it home, too bad.
  • Smoldering fire outside in the 500 block of West Pueblo, someone mistook it for a structure fire.
  • Domestic, 100 block of South Kellogg, woman called for help then the dispatcher heard a struggle in the background and phone disconnected. The female called back a second later and tried to cancel the call, not sure what is going on there.
  • Racing bike ripped off, white female bicycle with blue and green markings. It was locked up in front of Ralphs, 100 West Carrillo.
  • Truck overturned Highway 101 southbound near Santa Claus Lane.
  • Burglary near Old Mill and Calle Real, subject was trying apartment door handles, unknown if he got in somewhere.
  • This made me sad, Animal Hazard, Nacimiento at Fairview Lane near the cemetery, injured baby deer still alive on the right side of the road. Poor baby deer. I hate hearing those calls, any of them, but especially baby animal calls. Of course they can be 20 years old and they are still our babies.
  • Possible assault, suspect sighted by victim southbound State from Marshalls. Last I heard suspect went into Metro 4, was being followed HMA in his 20’s.
  • 200 block of Guadalupe, 415 physical fight, all I heard there.

Well that is all outta this old fool for now. It’s getting quite warm here. Have a great Monday. Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Clancy, Poncho, Jerry, Carl, Kent, Stan, Walter, Fred, Brad, Billy, Jonathan, C.J., Marty, Cop John, Rambo, Sherry, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, ELMO, Jim, Diana, Isabelle, Jerry, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, and Chris willing, we will see you on Wednesday. Later, Roger



Written by Roger

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