Scanner Reports 8-12-20

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Grrrrrrr…USPS. I understand they are having troubles but that is no reason to treat a customer like crap. I waited all day with my door open for a package but it never came. My sister who sent the package received an e-mail from USPS that there was NO ACCESS to my address. I have been here 22 years and in that time have received hundreds of packages and only once got one ripped off, all other packages have always been delivered to me without fail. Not only did the postal people lie about this very important package then I had to read my sister’s E-Mail sounding like a cop. “How come there is no access to your home? Why would the mail person lie? Where were you? Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah….” I became very angry, it ruined my day. I was understanding to the plight of USPS but now that they lied about not being able to deliver that package then I got reamed by my sister who does not believe me. I’m really angry I’m in fact POSTAL!!! The things in that package are personal items that belonged to my mother for me. If the mail person has no access to a residence they are supposed to leave a slip in your mailbox or at your door but there was NOTHING the mail was not even delivered until 4:30pm. In the words of thy great Cart Narcs LAZYBONES! I was even going to tip them because of this Horsey Crap that Humpty Dump, Dump is pulling on them.But this is according to his plan from thy great 2nd coming of thy lard. I was so angry I could not even read my postcard from NASA. HAIR IS YOUR SCANNER REPORTS.

Scanner Reports, Monday:

  • 417pc Subject brandishing a knife at Starbucks 1235 State street 2 subjects involved both fled one detained down the street the otter got away.
  • Check the welfare subject living in the 100 Block of Oceano, Medical Medic response.
  • Traumatic Injury First Block of West Micheltorena.
  • Medical call 15 East Haley the Faulding Hotel.
  • Reckless white Honda CRV Westbound on Foothill from La Cumbre.
  • Premises check Pershing Park bathroom.
  • Wires down 6700 Block of Del Playa
  • Check the Welfare of a subject under a tree at Garden and Mission streets.
  • Fire alarms no fire Mara Villa 5500 Block of Calle Real.
  • Traffic Accident minor injury State at Ontare.
  • 20002 Non injury hit and run Hollister at Calle Real.
  • 20001 Felony hit and run Foothill at Mission Canyon.
  • Northbound 101 at Los Poses Vehicle vs Motorcycle.
  • 415pc Unknown type 200 Block of West DLG.
  • Check the welfare of a baby left alone in a tan Altima at 1331 San Andres at the laundry mat.
  • 200 Block of Oceano 415pc Fight things being thrown several units responded.
  • Several juveniles on bicycles in traffic being BOOGER HEADS, 1300 E Cabrillo.
  • More juvenile activities dropping water balloons on pedestrians from parking lot 10.
  • 415pc Verbal argument spanish speaking 500 Block of West Arrellaga.
  • Shoplifter on Linden Smart and Final suspect ripped off Tide Pods.
  • Lots of Earth Quakes in Bombay Beach Ca. Today.
  • Bohnett Park premises check.
  • Fish and Game on La Patera possibly looking for a mountain lion in the area.


Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

  • Early in the Morning, there was some drama going on at Alameda Park a male chasing an older female. BMA chasing an older WFA he was said to be in possession of a BB Gun and a knife first he was reported to be in a white Honda Civic then they found an address for him nearby in the 1600 Block of Garden. I did not hear much more after that except a female said a Black male adult assaulted her the chase occurred around Kids World.
  • Suspicious male in the 200 Block of South Alisos looking in cars walking into carports etc he was found in a carport in the 100 Block of South Alisos.
  • Fire alarms 500 Block of East Sola.
  • Med call First Block of West Constance.
  • Fire alarms, no fire 1500 Block of Chapala.
  • 2 Females arguing in the Lobby of Silly Hall 700 Block of Anacapa.
  • Traffic accident under the Wagon Wheel train trestle in Ventura major injuries.
  • Abandoned vehicle 200 Block of West Ortega.
  • Premises check East Beach below the Clark Estate.
  • Highway 154 at Zaca Station Road semi on its side minor injuries.
  • 200 Block of Erst DLG 273.5 Domestic Violence been hearing calls at this address lately there are children living there also.
  • Med call with PD Response 3618 State street AM-PM Unresponsive subject.
  • Hazard incident not hazmat 500 Block of West Montecito.
  • Medical call 2600 Block of Borton Drive.
  • Transient refusing to leave and throwing trash Harbor Chevron 401 West Montecito.
  • 459pc Commercial burglary in the 400 Block of State street Suspect BMA South on State street.
  • 415pc 215 Pesetus Lane Sansum “Yeller” approaching patients.
  • 415pc Transient WMA in his 50’s with a brown sleeping bag harassing employees of Joe’s Cafe 536 State street.
  • Med call,  3505 State street Motel 6.
  • Westbound 118 at Rocky Peak Ventura Brush Fire.


You never know how much someone loves you until they die and you go through their things. I got that package today from the post office and my whole life was in that box. My Mother saved every bit of it. I’m still leaking. Oh Wow. Have a Happy Hump Day…Peter, Molly, Belinda, Midnight, Merlin, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Shadow, FREDDIE!, Maxwell, Liza, Zoey, Tom Cat, Tomicina, Tiger, Clancy, Lola, PoPo, Tiny, Andy, FISH HEADS ONE, TWO, AND THREE, Poncho, Denny, Zeke, Jerry, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Diana, Jim, Ross, Rambo, Sherry, Eddie, Bambi, Mark, Willie, Lafayette, Ted, Mrs. MacArthur, Auntie Helen, Pat, Mavis, Ricky, Bengie, David Cox, Po, Marty, Cop John, Fire Fighter Robert, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Roger, Father Zimmerman, Joseph, Magruder, Don, Cory, Edwin, Kona, Crazy Ed, Isabelle, Jerry, Debbie, Ken, LUCY, STOBE THE HOBO, KFC, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, John Havlick, Tom Petty, John Prime, Charles Bukowski, Rich Mullins, Little Mac, Lucky, Bill, John, Marianne, and Chris willing we will see you on FRYday.   Later,  Roger


Written by Roger

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  1. Roger, I have an equal to your USPS story. I owned some rental properties in Meiners Oaks. From Santa Barbara, I mailed the payment for my water bill to the Meiners Oaks Water District at 202 W. El Roblar, only I mistakenly wrote 200 instead of 202 on the envelope. I got the envelope back SEVERAL DAYS LATER, with a note on it, saying “no such address.” By now, the payment was late, so I had to pay a late fee. I was amazed that the postal carrier did such an unnecessary, officious act. When I complained to the Ojai postmaster, he told me, “well, you had the wrong address.” Mind you, if there had been the address of 200 W. El Roblar, it would have been directly next door to the water district. Fortunately, my mail carrier in SB is superb, but I certainly can’t say the same for the entity she works for. It doesn’t help matters that I had a phone discussion with a USPS “customer representative” a couple of days ago, who tried to tell me that British Columbia isn’t in Canada, but is “part of England.” I swear to god!

  2. Maybe “no access to your mailbox” is the new excuse that USPS will use when mail was not delivered due to the fact that the mailman ran out of time. The new Postmaster General has cancelled all overtime and ordered a slowdown of mail delivery.

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