Scanner Reports 6-29-18

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Once upon a time long, long ago in a land far away called the Natural History Museum was a security guard crying his eyes out like a big cry baby. Audible alarms were going off in the background and he could not remember the codes to shut them off and people were yelling at him. He called his boss for help but his boss told him to quit crying and called him a big dummy. The security guard told his boss a thing or two then added “You can take this job and SHOVE IT!” The boss was on his way to do just that. The guard waited, his crying turning into a low whimper and he was about ready to stop when someone said “Hey.” He looked up and  someone tossed a glass of red wine in his face. Dripping down smelling like alcohol the newly sober security guard started babbling again louder, this time feeling like the biggest Cry Baby Failure on Planet Earth. He continued to cry, head in his hands, audible alarms going off very loud. He did not know how long it had been but he heard a kind voice ask if he was all right. “Are you ok?” the voice asked he slowly looked up at this mans kind face, a face he had seen before but could not remember where. “Kid, you OK?” the man said then added “you look hungry come on with us.” There was a beautiful woman with him he helped the security guard up. He walked toward the Food and Wine Festival and bought 3 tickets handing the guard one, one of the workers there said the security guard wasn’t allowed to eat or drink but the kind man said, “He is my guest,” and to me he said, “Enjoy yourself and get something to eat.” “Thank You,” I said to the man who’s face I knew somewhere but could not place. The Grub was really good. I found out years later the man is Don Murray, a local resident who is a movie actor. This is one of my favorite memories of Santa Barbara that kind man took a moment out of his day to cheer me up, a Santa Barbarian with a Heart of Gold. For those of you going to the Food and Wine Festival I’m sure you will have a Wonderful time, and Have a lovely Weekend.   Here are your Scanner Reports.

Scanner Reports, Wednesday:

  • First thing in the morning a suicide, rest in peace, North Side Santa Barbara County.
  • Medical Call Alcohol with drawls, DT’s 3000 Block of State street.
  • SBPD on a group 800 Block of Cacique.
  • Head injury possible assault 1000 Block of Esclante.
  • Suspicious male in vehicle tried to touch a child’s hair as the child walked by 600 Block of East Canon Perdido Male in a maroon Toyota van parked near the Boys and Girls club
  • 459 Commercial burglary at a doctor’s office in the in the 200 Block of West Pueblo.
  • Drunk driver in a dark green Mercedes weaving all over the road Northbound on Calle Real toward highway 154.
  • Wires down after getting hit by a truck in the 600 Block of West Canon Perdido.
  • 10851 Stolen vehicle from Enterprise rent a car at the Casino.
  • Avocado Thieves in Carpinteria missed address but they are everywhere, WATCH OUT.
  • Neighbors fighting verbally over where the trash can should go in the first block of North San Marcos Road.
  • Medical call for an overdose at Ortega Park but the fire department and Medics could not find anyone.
  • Check the welfare of a male subject sleeping DLV at Guiterrez near the Dead End.
  • 415 Domestic Parking lot 7 Ex boyFIEND would not let the female leave.
  • 20002 Non injury hit and run parking lot 7 also might be related not sure.
  • A  “yeller and a spitter” all rolled into one in front of Trinity Church in the 1500 Block of State street a subject with green hair and a purple sweater.
  • Trespassing and Harassment going in the 600 Block of San Pascual.
  • 2 HMA in a black sedan with a bicycle rack attempted to steal a bicycle in the 400 Block of East Figourea part license plate 4MEA 1?? Police have the rest.:).
  • Dine and DasH Joe’s Cafe 500 Block of State street suspect HMA in his 40’s wearing black shirt matching panties ran towards the back parking lot.
  • Drunk male refusing to leave a residence in the 200 Block of North Soledad.
  • 415 Walking Domestic Roundabout South Milpas they must really be in Love cause they walked past here and I could hear them all the way down the friggen driveway…Makes me want to go right out and find me a woman friend.
  • Subject at Cottage ER ready for the sober center.
  • Code 60 Vehicle Blocking in the 1400 Block of San Andres.
  • Shoplifter at Marshalls 900 Block of State street.


Scanner Reports, Thursday:

  • 261pc Rape within the city limits of Santa Barbara City the PD don’t even say the area where rapes occur anymore I have no idea where it happened.
  • Homeless camp near a Christian preschool in the 5200 Block of Hollister.
  • 10851 Investigation 1600 Block of Garden street a scooter.
  • Report of a BMA using a stick to wedge open a door at the Smoke Shop in the 2900 Block of DLV Possible 459 Commercial reported by a reporting party witness to SBPD.  The subject breaking in turned out to be an employee We have good cops in Santa Barbara.
  • Heard a guy being ran for wants and warrants he had a warrant and was either on probation or wanted for 488pc Child molestation though the dispatcher said Preforming lewd acts with a child.
  • Campers with a tent set up near Santa Barbara Shores.
  • Stolen auto located and unoccupied at Aero Camino and Camino Vista.
  • Ex boyFIEND steals his ex Female Friends dog What a creep! 500 Block of Milky Way Santa Maria.
  • Check the Welfare of a male down in the bushes at Chase Bank in the 1300 Block of  State street those must be some popular bushes.
  • Suspicious circumstances lights on broken window apartment unit  supposed to be vacant in the 100 Block of Chapala reporting party is the manager.
  • 417 Brandishing a knife, and 422 Criminal threats Cabrillo at Calle Caesar Chavez a male pulled a knife on a female and threatened her police caught up to him near Quarantina WMA be gone awhile hopefully
  • Leaf Blower Loreto Plaza 3300 Block of State street
  • Check the welfare of a subject down in the 300 Block of East Haley.
  • Trespasser Eagles Lodge in the 900 Block of Bath street.- Possible Father kicking daughter North on State from Cabrillo to the first Block of Helena to a business there police responded caught up with the family and I heard no more.
  • 415 Room Mate hallucinating in the 600 Block of San Pascual.
  • 5150 Subject at 7-11 Near Patterson and Hollister.
  • Possible fight brewing 6-8 Subjects State and Cota streets heard no more about that.-
  • Suspicious subject trying to sell a lap top in the 700 Block of State street HMA in his 30’s 5’9, 170 pounds wearing a white shirt black panties lap top in a black case.
  • Vehicle fire highway 246 at Purisima in Lompoc.


That is all outta me for now Have a lovely Weekend…Peter, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Clancy, Tiger, Thomicina, Tom Cat, Midnight, Merlin, Lola, Poncho, Jerry, Fish Head One, Jonathan, C.J., Walter, Fred, Brad, Billy, Carl, Kent, Stan, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Rambo, Sherry, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, David Cox, Poe, Marty, Cop John, Bengy, Ricky, Pat, Mavis, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Isabelle, Jerry, LUCY! Debbie, Ken, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo. Tom Petty and Chris Willing we will see you on Monday.  Later,  Roger 


Written by Roger

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  1. Is this story an allegorical or actual? It works either way. Often we see others through the lens of anger or fears that promotes violence instead of awareness and empathy or understanding. Most of us have enough self-control not to act it out, but even so we lose. Thoughts condemning someone out-of-hand are missed opportunities for spiritual growth.

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