Scanner Reports 6-13-17

Happy Wednesday. The Old Man finally got a cell phone. Of course, it’s a very old school one. It comes with a cord to plug into a wall. Cost me 30 bucks at Rite Aid; one of those prepaid thingies flip phone with a camera. I can’t figure that out though. I have taken a couple pictures of my walls. I just can’t figure how to develop the film onto the computer. Oh well, at least I have the phone. In case I’m running away from somewhere, I can call a getaway Yellow Cab. I was playing with it last night (the phone), trying to figure it out. I’m kinda slow, always have been. I have only made one phone call. I don’t like talking on the phone. I think I got that from my Grand Dad. He did not like the phone either. He’d call you on the phone and only say what was necessary then hang up. You’d be sitting there talking away to air. The only calls I ever make is to my mom once a week. I never answer my phone and I enjoy leaving weird messages on my phone to freak people out. The latest goes something like this: Why do you call and not leave a message? No one ever says anything. I’m here alone and I don’t understand why no one leaves a message, beeep. People say things like, “Are you all right?” Or “Are you there?” Or they just hang up. My landlady cracks up laughing. I do that old Tom Hanks message once in a while from the movie “Nothing in Common” he did with Jackie Gleason back in the early 80’s: “Hello, Hello, Hello…I can’t hear you, can you speak up? Hello? Damn phone must be broken… beeep.” His message wasn’t exactly like that. There’s air then the caller is yelling, then at the end of his message it says “OK, OK, you don’t have to yell!” Callers on my answering machine leave messages like “Hello! Hello! Can you hear me? Are You OK?!” I listen to them and laugh. It’s my only entertainment, I have no life.

Oh well, here’s your scanner reports … beep, Monday:

•Ill subject in a vehicle Highway 101 southbound, north of the Arroyo Hondo Bridge.
•Semi overturned, Highway 101 north at Sheffield.
•Burglary investigation, 600 block of West Ortega.
•Mary 3 was doing traffic stops, One West Carrillo on a tan Honda, then in the 1000 block of Bath on a blue Land Rover.
•7400 block of Davenport on a burglary to a vehicle.
•Hazard condition in the 1400 block of Park Place in a residence.
•Medical call on a 10 month old with a sprained or broken arm, 300 block of West Victoria.
•Vehicle accident, vehicle into a boulder at Toro Canyon State Park.
•Fall victim medical call at the Rescue Mission.
•Motorcyclist down, felony hit and run, Highway 101 northbound, south of Summerland.
•Storke and Hollister, 2 vehicle wreck, elderly confused driver involved.
•Code 40 male threatened to blow up All State on Storke Road. SBSO caught up with him, ran him off, but he came back later.
•Overdose on pills, Super 8 Motel.
•Medical call for a subject down at Catholic Charities, 600 block of East Haley.
•Juvenile with a broken wrist at Franklin Clinic, 1111 East Mason.
•Ill subject in a green Highlander, 600 block of Mission Ridge.
•Daylight prowlers, 4800 block of Cherry, 2 HMAs knocking on doors, and ringing the doorbell of a residence. RP’s boyfriend armed with a gun, subjects were in the backyard for a bit, then left in a black Hummer eastbound
on Clark.
•Premises check Ninos and the tracks.
•Structure fire, 400 block of West Ortega.
•Medical call, 76 Station, 200 South Milpas.
•Vehicle accident, vehicle into a ditch, subject bleeding from the head, Dominion Road at Foxen Canyon Santa Maria.

Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

•Some fella called in and requested police respond to his home and quiet the neighbors down, the ones living in tunnels under his home. I’m not saying where but it was somewhere in Santa Barbara. I think it would be neat
to have tunnels under the house. I’m going to start digging later.
•Homeless female refusing to leave 7-11, 331 West Montecito.
•Homeless males yelling at passersby, 1111 East Cabrillo.
•Medical call, man down, 35 East Haley.
•Female with a possible head injury, 1020 Chapala, medics.
•Theft of products. Female took beer and chicken, went into the bathroom at Smart and Final and started eating her treasures, she was yelling at customers too. I never saw cooked chicken over there I hope she wasn’t
eating the raw stuff.
•Animal taken into custody from 617 Garden Street, don’t know why.
•Assault on Cabrillo Lane, possible broken arm.
•Check the welfare of a subject under a cardboard box on Foothill between Ontare and Alamar.
•Theft of a cell phone from Holiday Inn, which one I do not know, they did not say.
•4900 block of Hollister, burglary to a vehicle, juvenile inside. Thief last seen running away.
•Medical call for a fall victim on Las Palmas, 700 Block.
•Campers, Los Patos at Highway 101.
•Medical call, 700 block of Walnut, seizures.
•Parents’ vehicle taken by their kid, 1100 block of Carpinteria Street, grey Nissan Altimita 2005.
•Check on a large white R.V. in the 1700 block of Castillo.
•Medical call for a fall victim in the 200 block of Newlove.
•Check the welfare of unattended juveniles in the 1300 block of Salinas Place.
•Homeless male refusing to leave the back of Trader Joes, 29 South Milpas.
•Four-month-old fall victim, suspicious circumstances, not posting the address Sheriff has it.

I’m not using that cell phone at all, but someone’s calling me from out of the country and leaving messages. It’d be my luck some illegal thing and the undercover’s are listening in. I’m not answering it. NO WAY! NO HOW! Not even if they say, “The Panga is loaded with weed, and money and is in such and such a place.” I knew it; damn cell phones are trouble. It’s a good thing the cord came with it, they don’t know where I am. Better start digging on those tunnels. Have a great Happy Hump Wednesday. Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Clancy, Poncho, Jerry, Elmo, Walter, Brad, Billy, Edwin, Fred, Jonathan, C.J. (not the cop), Cory, Magruder, Don, Carl, Stan, Kent, Rambo, Sherry, Isabelle, Jerry, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, and Chris willing, we will see you on FRYday. Later Roger


Written by Roger

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