Scanner Reports 5-25-20

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Fryday had to get out and get stuff, been in the teeny tiny housey too friggen long needed to get out, get stuff, go for a walk. Even though I had an RA flare-up on Thursday, I felt a little better. Off I went walking too fast pushing my walker. I used to be able to shop three stores walking a couple of miles in 90 minutes pre Virus Days. I was going to try and do it again like the Old Days 2 months ago. My mask too tight, breathing too, hard sucking the mask up into my booger passages, sweating my rubber gloves too small my hands numb and sweaty. Trader Joes had a line. I wasn’t that hungry, went to Pet Smart for Joey I bought him a scratcher he wanted really, really bad and a box of BBQ Temptations. Then to the other Top Secret Store for my gloves, 2 boxes extra large. I felt like I won the lotto sort of. Off I went had to pick up my medication. Walking fast, fast, fast, too fast mask breathing too hard fast WHAM! Hypoventling I stopped kinda dizzy, resting, feeling asthma creeping up on me. After a couple minutes I went into the drug store which was a mistake but I had to get my meds. Not all of them were there I became a little short then said It’s OK and walked away then something fell off my walker onto the floor like slow motion KABOOM! Like a Nuclear Explosion Mount Saint Helen’s Erupting! I went off Fucking, Gloves!!!, Fucking Mask!!! Kill Me you MOTHER FUCKER I CAN’T TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE BLAHBLAHBLAH! The clerks who know I’m crazy helped me but I kept going off, out the door down the street to the bank and then toward home. I thought If I don’t get my fat ass home the police are going to come get me taze the crap out of me and wrap me in a giant burrito! I have to stay home but sometimes everyone even us crazy people have to get out.

My Sister bought me a cup for my birthday that says on it, “I hate when I wake up and Donald Trump is President” on it. I like it it’s funny she also got me a book by Stephen King on writing, I opened it up to this. In the 3rd Foward “The editor is always right.” Why did I see this right now at this time is this some kind of dysfunctional message from GOD? Or a bad Joke the editor is always right…..Ha! For myself I bought a green whistling tea kettle that reminds me of my Irish Mother who drank Lipton tea every morning with milk and sugar for 78 years it also reminds me of Rich Mullins a Christian singer song writer who’s life parallels mine he passed away many years ago he was a very interesting person who made millions of dollars giving most of it away I ordered some of his CD’s old school fart that I am and some books. Junk food up the Ya Zoo for my Birthday 62 Years ago today a Dysfunctional king was born on a pirate ship, Joey is hanging out with me having cofefe,  Thank You for all the Birthday Wishes it makes the day special……HAIR IS YOUR SCANNER RONI REPORTS…

Scanner Reports, Friday:

  • Med call fall victim 1111 East Cabrillo on the beach side of the hotel.-
  • 415pc Subject yelling at Shoreline park near the womans restroom.
  • Laguna and East DLG Medical call.
  • Subject blocking a doorway to a business Ongoing issue sounds like a camper 220 West Canon Perdido.
  • Non injury Traffic Accident involving a city vehicle Cacique and Milpas streets.
  • Non injury Traffic Accident 900 Block of Indio Muerto.
  • Medical call 1900 Block of Cliff Drive involving a 242pc Assault.
  • Premises check Stearns Wharf.
  • Juvenile shocked herself  and does not know what 2500 Block of Firestone Court.
  • Female down next to her wheelchair at East Alamar and Miradero.
  • 417 Brandishing a knife at the Hilton 633 East Cabrillo 2015 4-Runner, owner by a Runner from the police with a personal plate from another California city South of here hope he went home.
  • Assist the police department 600 Block of Calle Los Amigos SBPD call.
  • Motorcyclist down injury accident on Cabrillo near East Beach.
  • Suicidal subject  1000 Block of Bath street Fire department and Medics stage at Figueroa and Bath streets possible violent patient.
  • Premise check 500 Block of Bath street.
  • Possible 415pc Fight or one brewing on La Cadena.
  • 415 Domestic male hitting female in a Honda CRV Pedregosa at State street.
  • Transient threw a bicycle at someone Guiterrez at State street.
  • Med call 1900 Block of Chino.
  • Transient disturbing 1000 Block of CVR.
  • Highway 101 Northbound at Linden Traffic Accident.
  • 4400 Block of Foxen Canyon Road Vegetarian Fire.
  • Someone is being prepared at Cottage Hospital in Burrito wrap Police backup code 3.
  • Medical call 900 Block of West Mission.




Scanner Reports, Saturday:

  • Patient combative after a seizure at Alta Lucero 3880 Via Lucero
  • Disabled Motorist helped by SBPD highway 101 Northbound State street at Calle Real.
  • Found property in the street 300 Block of Loma Alta.
  • Med call fall victim 4000 Block of State street.
  • Vehicle vs bicyclist Camino at Castis Pass.
  • Gas Pipe hit by vehicle broken 1400 Block of San Andres Street.
  • On a subject Montecito street and Quarantina.
  • 48 People gathering without masks at Stevens Park setting a great example for children everywhere.
  • 300 Block of Mesa Lane numerous traffic stops must be the most offended street in Santa Barbara.
  • Infant locked in a vehicle 200 Block of Hot Springs.
  • Code 40 Drunkies fighting 1100 Block of Bath street one subject according to the reporting party is drinking in their vehicle, open containers in the vehicle.
  • Medical call Campernil Drive.
  • Armed Robbery attempt with a knife Laguna and Cota learned later on that one suspect was caught the other got away until his buddy snitches him out, that is.
  • Med call Val Verde fall victim 3700 Block of Modoc.
  • Harris Grade Burton Mesa vehicle accident.
  • Fire alarms no fire 400 Block of Por La Mar.
  • Vehicle vs pedestrian Best Western parking lot 3800 Block of State street.
  • Premise check 600 Block of State street.
  • Medical Emergency Campus Point Beach.
  • Check the Welfare of a female in a wheel chair in traffic State street at Los Positas.
  • Code 2 Medics at CVS in the 2900 Block of State street.
  • Minor injury accident vehicle over the hill at the entrance to Red Rock Canyon.
  • Med call on Camino De Vida.
  • A suicidal subject near Gelsons in the 3300 Block of State street.



Scanner Reports, Sunday:

  • Fire Alarms no Fire 3500 Block of Modoc Road
  • More Traffic Stops in the 300 Block of Mesa Lane it must be a speedway over there
  • Dumpster Fire next to a building 1100 Block of North H Street in Lompoc
  • Male yelling  near a business in the 900 Block of State street he left on a bicycle then came back and yelled smore.
  • Premises check Hidden Valley Park heard some names being ran there must be campers. Interesting that people can camp and don’t have to pay
  • Frank Unit foot patrolling the 400 Block of State street later on heard the 100 and 200 Blocks of State street also.
  • More Footsie Patrol Sola at State street.
  • 211 West Guiterrez Subject yelling at a red van on going issue as someone camps there in the red van. Someone did that here one time just pulled into the driveway and camped for a couple years he was a friend of one of the neighbors since I was the only one that bitched everyone gave me dirty looks they are soooooooo lucky I was not drinking at the time.
  • Old Yeller 200 Block of West Carrillo.
  • Female transient in her 40’s ripped off someones bag at Amtrak 209 State street.
  • Medical call 1000 Block of East Cota.
  • 415 Old Yeller 800 Block of DLG Terrace.
  • Footsie Patrol State and Cota streets.
  • Premises check Alameda Park West.
  • 100 Block of North Milpas male refusing to leave and coughing.
  • Group of subjects playing with their balls at Cabrillo ball field 800 Block of East Cabrillo Thanks for social distancing guys.
  • Possible structure fire 1100 Block of Honda Court.
  • Guy smoking H&S in the parking lot at CVS 2900 Block of State street he got wrapped and taken away.
  • Vandalism at the Bath Mouse 1118 East Cabrillo to a silver Mercedes.
  • Medical call Carrillo and DLV.
  • Footsie Patrol 1100 Blocks to the 1300 Blocks of State street.
  • Suicidal Subject at Derfs Cafe 2000 Block of State street.
  • 242pc 500 Block of Red Rose Reporting party said this person just walked into their apartment and assaulted them kinda weird if they did not know each other. I did not hear if they did or not.
  • 415pc 411 Anacapa subject yelling inside.
  • Check the Welfare of a Woman and her Children after there had been a violent sounding 415 Domestic in the residence the night before 200 Block of Los Aquarius, She was OK, the male was reported UI and still there.



I was watching this cop show on the internet the other day where this cop responded to a domestic disturbance, this gal was throwing some guy out of her place that she had taken in because her boyfriend caught the guy she took in rubbing ice cream all over her in the bedroom. There was all this yelling and screaming going on the cop says, “This is why I don’t get involved with anyone this crazy crap.” I’m still laughing about that. I get lonely once in a while then I remember all the crazy crap I went through with women. Belinda was a different story we were friends first the only way I would have married her if she had stayed sober for a long time, she sobered up and died she will always be a huge loss in my life. I doubt I will ever get involved with anyone again women are much better as friends…Anyway Have a Nice Memorial Day in Remembrance of those who gave their lives for our freedom, God Bless our Veterans…Peter, Molly, Belinda, Midnight, Merlin, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Lola, PoPo, Shadow, FREDDIE!, Maxwell, Liza, Zoey, Tom Cat, Tomicina, Tiger, Clancy, Tiny, Andy, FISH HEADS ONE AND TWO, Poncho, Zeke, Denny, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Eddie, Bambi, Lafayette, Ted, Mark, Willie, Mts. MacArthur, Auntie Helen, Pat, Mavis, Bengie, Ricky, Diana, Jim, Ross, Rambo, Sherry, David Co, Po, Marty, Cop John, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Roger, Father Zimmerman, Joseph, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Kona, Crazy Ed, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry, LUCY!, STOBE THE HOBO, KFC, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, John Havlick, Little Mac, Lucky, Rich Mullins, Tom Petty, John Prime, Bill, John, Marianne, and Chris willing we will see you on Humpster Day. Later,  Roger



Written by Roger

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