Scanner Reports 3-25-19

By Roger the Scanner Guy

One of those things. A lot of people say that California is being flooded with folks from Mexico that are not legal because California is a sanctuary state. They say these people who are not legal are taking over and ruining the state since California is a sanctuary state and since the governor of California is a Democrat, the State of California is condemned by many asshats in the States including Whatshisname, the golfer in the White House. Thing is every time I see one of those videos on YouTube or in the news about these Homeless tent cities that are filled with people from South of the border, they are mostly filled with other folks that are from the UN-united States of Us. I think other states are shipping their homeless via bus to us to blame the downfall of the State of California on immigrants. That’s my MILPAS UNDERPANTS AND I’M STICKING TO THEM!

Other things, it’s Spring Time watch out for Bees and Bee Hives, watch out for Birds too, especially Ducks and little Ducks crossing the street. They don’t know they are supposed to stop and wait for vehicles to stop. A few years ago I ran out in the middle of Milpas one day when people were leaving work to block traffic for a Mama Duck and her little Duckies because they just walked right out into traffic there was no way they were going out there without me. Funny thing when I walk out in traffic most people stop because they don’t want to hurt their car, they see how big I am and hit the brakes.

Course last week there was this idiot in a black late-model Lexus SUV, did not stop at the roundabout she actually gunned it when I was in the crosswalk. Blond, short hair, wearing a dress looked like an evening gown of sorts or maybe someone’s drapes and she was totally DUI, at least that is what her eyes told me. I hate when I hear calls and I’m not exactly sure I heard what I thought I heard. I heard one of these calls the other day “Code 40, which is a drunk person, down behind the Fire Truck.”  That was at Station 2 right down the street from me. I should have got up and looked but my foot hurts like Hell still so I didn’t. Who passes out behind a Fire Truck? I heard of some weird places to pass out but never behind a Fire Truck before, that is a new one. I guess that is why I’m questioning it. Has anyone ever passed out behind a Fire Truck before? I was found in a Dumpster Once and I was alive too, someone threw away a perfectly good Roger. The garbage man told me if he hadn’t seen my feet I’d be a goner, that was back in Hammond.

A couple days earlier some guy slipped me bad drugs. I wanted to try Cocaine and he gave me something else, not sure what it was. The last thing I remember was buying a bunch of popsicles at the 7-11 down the street then shoving them up my nose. I guess I was so stoned I missed my mouth. I think the guy gave me PCP. I was also taking Thorazine at the time one of the reasons I never got addicted to drugs is because of experiences like those. I tried them and if I bought popsicles and shoved them up my nose I never did them again. Ever passed out in a weird place? Feel free to share that or anything else Don’t worry we’re all anonymous here no one knows who I am. Hair is your Scanner Reports.

Scanner Reports, Friday

  • Allergic reaction to a bee sting at SBHS Swimming pool.
  • Smoke check Paradise Road at Highway 154 a mile and a half up Paradise.
  • Scam call at Dunkin Donuts in the 3700 Block of State street I wish I could eat Dunkin Donuts I’d take my food stamps up there and buy them out.
  • 201 South Milpas on a subject I think that subject was in front of my house a few minutes earlier I noticed a code 40, in the planter
  • Man yelling and hitting his car Ortega and Olive.
  • 911 Hang Up 800 Block of State street.
  • Check the Welfare of a man laying down in front of Crown Liquor 2 North Milpas street.
  • Guy down in the Planter when I got home Police ran him off I did not stop to think but maybe this Drunk guy was a gift to me maybe they should have put a tag on him.
  • 415 Female transient at the Fig tree.
  • Suspicious male 400 Block of Olive at a business where he may have ripped off a backpack a week earlier.
  • 5150 Female in the 1200 Block of Cacique throwing furniture outside she must be pretty strong to throw furniture.
  • Check the Welfare of a male vomiting in the bushes Calle Real at Highway 154, Time for Lunch.
  • There was info on a possible fight near SBHS but police were unable to locate probably bogus
  • Leaf Blower 300 Block of Peatmount Road.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject down next to a wheelchair in the 500 Block of State street.
  • Injury accident dead end behind the 500 Block of Arrellaga.
  • Hazard Investigation La Cumbre Mall It was a traffic box hit by a vehicle driver no longer there hit and run.
  • Med call outside Transition House in the 400 Block of East Ortega.
  • Check the Welfare subject walking in traffic Milpas at Cacique I was at home before they got there Unable to Locate.
  • Drunk driver On Allen Road from Cliff Drive a silver Mercedes being followed.


Scanner Reports, Saturday

  • I was reading a book the other day by Garrison Keillor, Lake Wobegon Summer 1956 and he wrote “Did you know the word “Turd” is in SaTURDay? I have been saying this for along time.
  • 1400 Block of Alta Vista 415 Domestic 2 women wearing Robes, a man dressed in Black someone was running there was some yelling I think all I heard unknown if the police found them.
  • 415 Transient disturbing the donuts at Dunkin Donuts in the 3700 Block of State street.
  • 23152 Drunk Driver in a white Honda CRV older black female driving Upper State street Offramp.
  • Injury traffic accident 400 Block of North Milpas street.
  • 415 Domestic 900 Block of East Yanonali street.
  • Suspicious male 1000 Steps 1 Santa Cruz.
  • Possible Former tenants who had been evicted came back in the 200 Block of North Hope possibly trespassing in an apartment they were kicked out of.
  • Parking Violation in the 800 Block of Anacapa.
  • Theft Investigation in a hotel in the First Block of Chapala.
  • Burglary investigation in an apartment in the 500 Block of West Victoria.
  • Highway 101 South Bound near Highway one Silver Sedan Rollover traffic accident.
  • Check the Welfare of a Cat stuck on a ledge in the 300 Block of West Alamar.
  • 415 Transient female in the 600 Block of State street.
  • Possible water main break in the 800 Block of Lilac Lane in Montecito.
  • San Ysidro at Jamenson traffic accident.
  • Subject with a loose dog running around a park 4000 Block of Via Diego.
  • 10 South Alisos graffiti.
  • Code 40 Down behind the Fire Truck at Station 2.
  • I heard this mutual aide request for a possible Multiple Casualty Accident  S.B. 15 Jso Gorman School Road  like a 20 vehicle accident with some vehicles on fire I think it was a request from Ventura County anyone else out there with a police scanner hear this one?
  • Subject slumped over the wheel of a white Caravan  East Valley at Sycamore.
  • Male hitting unknown object in the 300 Block of East Canon Perdido.
  • Fall Victim 8 Year old with a head injury at McKenzie Park Playground.
  • Possible Drowning Lower Rincon Park 8000 Block of Plesta Del Sol.
  • Possible home flooding 300 Block of Peach Grove Hazard Condition.
  • There was a Guitar yelling at Passerbys in the 500 Block of State street.
  • Some guy ripped off a bicycle from Ortega Park last seen West Bound on Cota Yellow and Black Cruiser.
  • City Lot 5 Transient waving a glass pipe around Simulating he had a gun those things don’t shoot Dummy.
  • Cabrillo at Calle Caesar Chavez Trash Fire.
  • Transient disturbing at Vons 1040 Coast Village Road.
  • There was a code 40 in the first aide section of Rite Aide on SaTURDay night cause that’s the place to be when the police come looking for you. Sounded combative maybe he was predicting his future being in the First Aide Section I know when I was combative I hurt alittle afterwards anyway he might have gotten wrapped up thought I heard something about the wrap.


Scanner Reports, Sunday

  • Fall victim from a bicycle head injury 4000 Block of La Colina front of Bishop Diego High School.
  • Female disturbing refusing to leave the Public Market 38 West Victoria.
  • Gang graffiti on Figueroa missed the cross street.
  • Oak Park Premises check by Park 2.
  • Med Call 400 Block of East DLG.-Premises check Calle Caesar Chavez and the tracks,
  • Premises check Stevens Park.
  • Premises check La Colina.
  • Vehicle rollover highway 101 Southbound South of Bettervia vehicle on side non injury.
  • 415 At the Laundry mat 1911 DLV possible 242 Assault also.
  • 2 Vehicle accident highway 101 Southbound at Gaviota Rest Stop.
  • Traffic Stop grey Tundra First Block of Hitchcock.
  • 1100 Block of DLV fall victim.
  • 415 at Discount groceries 2840 DLV reporting party was concerned that after he teased a subject who was paying for groceries with Food Stamps the subject was outside of the store waiting for him, as he said he would be called the police on the guy he basically bullied.
  • Suspicious Circumstances Care Taker abandoned patient in apartment unable to care for themselves…Isn’t that against the law? In the 1500 Block of Chapala.
  • 415 Female in the thrift store 700 Block of North Milpas.
  • Somewhere in the city someone called in said they no longer wanted their firearm and called the police to pick it up.
  • Small unattended brush fire 1100 Block of Highway 246 in Buellton.
  • Subject Under the Influence in the 900 Block of San Pascual.
  • At the Visitors Center at One Garden a Naked Human Being is bathing in the womans restroom.
  • Report of a male in a white Chevy Truck possibly drinking a beer while driving on State street Northbound from Cabrillo.-
  • Reports of people on the tracks one was suicidal on the East Side hopefully decided not to do that.
  • The other was a report of someone carrying a bottle of Vodka Southbound on the tracks between Los Positas and La Cumbre everytime someone is on the tracks even for a minute they stop the trains so please stay off the tracks.


Will have a Wonderful MONday-MONday…Peter, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Tom Cat, Clancy, Thomicina, Tiger, Maxwell, Shadow, FREDDIE!, Midnight, Merlin, Lola, PoPo,, Tiny, Andy,Fish Head One, and Two, Poncho, Jerry, Denny Deem, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Rambo, Sherry, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, David Cox, Po, Marty, Cop John, Eddie, Bambi, Pat, Mavis, Bengie, Ricky, Lafayette, Ted, Willie, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Crazy Ed, LUCY! STOBE THE HOBO, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Tom Petty, and Chris Willing we will pee you on WEDnesday.  Later,  Roger


Written by Roger

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  1. Roger my brother. There is relating useful info to help those struggling and the there is ” Romancing the Stone”
    Just sayin…..
    Jabone be praised.
    There is but one God but God.
    Duck when you walk and maybe the drunks will be amused and slow down.

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