Scanner Reports 2-17-20

By Roger the Scanner Guy

I drink my coffee 2 ways, either black or with half and half. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Gemini or plain nuts, maybe a little of both. On Sunday morning I was drinking it black because I ran out of half and half and wasn’t willing to pay the steep price for it at Rite Aid, 2.59 for a pint. It’s much cheaper at Tri-County Produce, 1.79 for a quart, even cheaper at Trader Joes 1.49 for a quart but I don’t feel like walking so on SUNday morning I was drinking my coffee black. There is a little bit more of a kick when I drink my coffee black anyway. I was reading Edhat and laughing at the comments, I was talking back to them too. I had to blow my nose I grabbed a tissue blew my nose looked at my boogers, the tissue was black. I thought “Oh my God, I’m dying” but then realized it was the coffee. I know some of you are disappointed now I’m SNOT Sorry. 

Anyway, there is a lot of crime lately, it seems like more than usual things are not the way they used to be that is for sure. No one seems to have any respect for anyone else and in turn others are saying “Just get used to it.” I was at one time used to it. I thought it was normal I was so used to it but then I woke up. If you want respect from me you better show it .I  respect others, I always have but when they disrespect me I dump them like a forgotten turd. “Tell us about your sad life Roger.” My life has not been sad, my life has been full of lessons. I have learned a lot in my life I would not trade my life for Rob Lowes’s house on whatever the name of that street is in Montecito. I don’t want to know about your sad life, your sad life is probably like I dropped my cell phone in the toilet and now my life is over. That is what most people’s lives are like nowadays Give me the Old Hard Ways Anyday compared to this current Bull Crap, I still have a Land Line phone and as long as I am here I always will. My contacts are not in my cheap Old School cell phone which I carry only in case of emergency or to call Yellow Cab, my contacts are in a phone book written down. I’d rather be Ugly with no teeth than be anyone else, in fact, I am Ugly and have no teeth and though it’s painful when I look in the mirror I can still laugh at myself. HERE’S YOUR SCANNER REPORTS.

Scanner Reports, Friday:

  • Med Call Wood glen Hall 3010 Foothill Road.
  • Suspicious circumstances Olive Grove Charter School 1900 Block of Cliff Drive.
  • 4 Or 5 males underaged drinking alcohol on the Cacique Foot Bridge
  • Medical Aide with PD Response 1400 Block of Bath street residence
  • 1600 Block of State street on a 20002 Non injury hit and run black Volvo suspect
  • Suspicious Subject Ash at 3rd  dressed all in black and wearing a mask.
  • Arson in creekbed flames 20 feet high behind the block of 2600 Miral Drive in Santa Barbara, near Goleta 4 juveniles involved one wearing a backpack
  • 400 Block of West Pueblo Cottage Hospital Sexual Assault by a patient on an employee at Cottage Hospital.
  • Gas Odor outside 800 Block of Laguna.
  • SBPD on a group at Crown Liquor.
  • Parker in a vehicle 1400 Block of Garden street.
  • Premises check 3800 Block of Modoc at the railroad tracks.
  • SBPD on a Ped 100 Block of South Milpas.
  • 2 Subjects fighting possible Domestic Violence 300 Block of West Carrillo.
  • Hans Christian School in Solvang suspicious male with a beard taking pictures of children.
  • Premises check the creek bed 500 Block of Las Positas.
  • Combative out of control adult male 200 Block of 200 Block of Mesa Verde
  • Male with a gun, child screaming possible 415 Fight 100 Block of Brandon Drive in Goleta Off Duty SBSO took away gun 2 HMA’s drove away Eastbound in a black sedan on Cathedral Oaks heard no more.
  • Premises check Chase Palm Park Expansion.
  • Med Call 4000 Block of State street.
  • Forced Blood Draw on a possible Drunk Driver AMR response rear of the county jail 4436 Calle Real.
  • Traffic Accident in the parking lot of Santa Cruz Market in the 5700 Block of Hollister grey van hit a parked car with a child inside possible drunk driver involved.


Scanner Reports, Saturday: 

  • Overnight FRYday into SaTURDay I heard from a good friend  we will call Tony because that is his name there was a gang fight in the downtown area around 2am.
  • Also a Drunk Driver who slammed into several parked cars and a parked motorcycle on the West Side, publish their names first offense, more jobs for sober people in Santa Barbara less Drunk or DUI Drivers in our town.
  • A male was ran for wants and warrants in Vera Cruz Park he had one in Michigan but they don’t want him back so he is ours.
  • Engine One was Out of Service enroute to Cottage Hospital for manpower on a medical call but that was all I heard not the original call.
  • Illegal camper post office lobby 836 Anacapa.-
  • 1144pc Possible hanging Mora Mesa near the cliffs, confirmed.
  • Code 40, Drunk down possible head injury Santa Barbara at Ortega streets.
  • Med call 4200 Block of Calle Real.
  • 415 pc Subject walking in and out of traffic in front of the Veterans Memorial 112 West Cabrillo.
  • Fire station 4 Fire Test Call, no fire.
  • Suspicious circumstances Loves Toeing 211 East Haley.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject yelling and building small fires in the 1000 Block of Cliff Drive.
  • Subject with warrants on West Victoria
  • 3300 Block of Orcutt Road possible explosion and injured subject transported to Cottage Hospital.
  • Juveniles throwing rocks at vehicles in the 300 Block of East Cabrillo possibly in the field behind the park.
  • Subject yelling playing loud music 200 Block of Sycamore Lane.
  • A suspicious subject on the roof of Sheer Delight Lingerie 422 North Milpas street.
  • Cabrillo at Milpas streets Medical Call.
  • 6600 Block of Del Playa overdose
  • 8 Juveniles kicking cars and being rude in the 300 Block of West Cabrillo, that is when they are not commenting on Edhat.
  • Drunk transient on Stearns Wharf.


Scanner Reports, Sunday: 

  • Strong Arm Robbery early AM Possibly in the area of Paseo Nuevo suspect BMA curly hair wearing basketball shorts, driving a white Toyota sedan newer model, all I heard.
  • 242pc Assault and 261pc Rape Investigation within City Limits of Santa Barbara City no location to protect the identity of the victim.
  • 415 Domestic 500 Block of Brinkerhoff.
  • Overnight Traffic Collision in the 1000 Block of APS.
  • Suspicious circumstances 1300 Block of East Cota
  • Fire Alarms no Fire 100 Block of South La Cumbre Lane.
  • Found Property 800 Block of North Quarantina.
  • Possible injury after Traffic Accident 25 West Montecito street.
  • SBPD on a Subject 539 State street. Major Injury Accident Vehicle vs Pedestrian Alamo Pintado at Grand Ave Los Olivos, Black Ford Focus involved.
  • Suspicious circumstances and Medical Call Calle Puerto Vallarta at Cabrillo something about a burn on the sidewalk the medical call might have been cancelled.
  • Suspicious male trying to talk to children Los Robles Park 4000 Block of Via Diego subject with brown hair Park Unit on scene SBPD responding.
  • 242pc Carrillo at State street a Transient hit the reporting party on the shoulder wearing a ball cap carrying a back pack last seen South on State street.
  • 11-10- For an 1144pc at Cottage Hospital, Take a Report on a Deceased subject at Cottage Hospital.
  • Vehicle vs Bicyclist Lincoln at West Main in Santa Maria.
  • Subject yelling at the waterline in front of the Life Guard tower at East Beach.
  • Medical Aide 1700 Block of San Pascual street.
  • Suspicious circumstances at a boarded up home in the 1200 Block of East Gutierrez Motorhome on the property with heavy foot traffic.
  • 1800 Olive Avenue vehicle vs a child.


All outta me for now Break Time for Bonzo! Have a Lovely MONday-MONday…Peter, Molly, Belinda, Midnight, Merlin, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Lola, PoPo, Tom Cat, Clancy, Tomicina, Tiger, Shadow, FREDDIE!, Maxwell, Liza, Zoey, Tiny, Andy, Fish Hears One and Two, Poncho, Denny, Zeke, Jerry Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy,, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Ross, Rambo, Sherry, Eddie, Bambi, Pat, Mavis, Lafayette, Ted, Mark, Willie, Bengie, Ricky, Mrs. MacArthur, Auntie Helen, David Cox, Po, Marty, Cop John. Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Father Zimmerman, Joseph, Roger, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Crazy Ed, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry, LUCY!, STOBE THE HOBO, KFC, John Hancock, Micky Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, John Havlick,  Little Mac, Tom Petty, and Chris Willing we will see you on Happy Humpy Day…Later,  Roger


Written by Roger

What do you think?


1 Comments deleted by Administrator

Leave a Review or Comment


Sheriff Helicopter Above Tucker’s Grove

President’s Day Facts