Scanner Reports 2-14-20

By Roger the Scanner Guy

I was really craving ham hocks, lima beans, and cornbread for a long time, it’s one of those hot meals that hits you in a good spot especially when it’s cold outside it keeps you feeling warm all night. I used to work for a guy that bought me dinner all the time, he and his wife liked to watch me eat. It wasn’t one of those weird things, I did it fully clothed. One of the foods he bought me was ham hocks, lima beans, and cornbread. I could slam down 3/4 of a pot of that stuff, good and hot with chili’s and a few pitchers of brew. Now, of course, those pitchers would be water but then I was still drinking. I have been thinking about lima beans and ham hocks so much I could almost taste it until yesterday when I was walking through thy blessed MILPAS UNDERPANTS and saw a huge pile of Lima Beans and bits of Ham splattered on the sidewalk in front of a camp. Now I cannot get that odor out of my nose and I almost added to it. I think I will stay on this side of my MILPAS UNDERPANTS a while. I just thought I’d share in case there are other Lima Bean and Ham Hock lovers out there.

I had a little experience with one of those passive-aggressive folks a couple of weeks back in a store, it was an employee. I won’t Identify what store where this happened, but I bought a case of water in gallons to the counter. There are 6 gallons of water to a case in a cardboard box, the box is really hard to open and it’s a heavy box so I put it on my walker. When I got to the counter the clerk wanted me to open the box put a gallon out making it easier for her to ring it up, but it isn’t required of the customer to do it. I mentioned that to the clerk along with the fact that there was a code on top of the box she could just put in the register making it easier for me also. She said she did not do it that way. I asked her if her way was store policy she said “Yes.” I said well that is a real pain in the ass, and added “If I hurt my back I could sue the store.” She said, “Some people are just sue-happy.” It just went back and forth finally I took a gallon out she rang it up bitching and moaning the whole time. As I was leaving I said once again the store policy is a pain in the ass and she said clear as day “You are a pain in the ass.” I contacted the manager she lied it wasn’t stored policy for me to have to take a gallon out of the box, nor was it store policy for her to call me a pain in the ass. Yes I snitched her ass out, she had it coming now she gives me dirty looks all the time and I must say I like that better than her waiting on me. HERE are YOUR SCANNER REPORTS…

Scanner Reports, Wednesday:

  • Audible Alarm Twin Lakes 6000 Block of Hollister
  • Medical aide 800 Block of Delores Drive
  • Suicide by hanging at Life Guard Tower 4, 300 Block of East Cabrillo on the Beach, Rest in Peace.
  • Drunk Driver Tan Cadillac 500 Block of North Refugio sedan 4-door.
  • SBPD on a subject 1200 Block of State street.
  • SBPD on a subject Bath street at the Railroad Tracks.
  • Looking for a wanted subject in the 100 Block of West Anapamu.
  • Child Abuse investigation at  Roosevelt School occurred on West De La Guerra.
  • Medical Call on the West Side person passed away Rest in Peace.-
  • Audible Alarm 300 Block of Las Alturas.
  • On a group Quarantina at Kimball.
  • Fire test call 121 West Carrillo.
  • Fire alarms no Fire at Val Verde 900 Block of Calle Los Amigos.
  • SBPD shaking a vehicle to see if anyone falls out 200 Block of East Micheltorena.
  • Subject trying door handles on cars 1400 Block of DLV Suspicious subject.
  • Check the Welfare of a Juvenile being pulled by the arm by an adult male in the 2400 Block of Castillo near a yellow truck.
  • Premises check Vista La Lacumbre.
  • Crime Scene Investigation response on a call to the public library 40 East Anapamu.
  • Overdose in the 4100 Block of State street.
  • Traffic Hazard Eastbound on Carillo from State street subject on a bicycle weaving in and out of traffic.
  • Shots reported heard in the area of Rattle Snake Canyon.-
  • 2 Subjects using drugs 100 Block of Chapala street one subject wearing a white Hoodie.
  • Med call 200 Block of Santa Ynez Court.
  • 242pc Assault 300 Block of South Voluntario.
  • Campers in the MILPAS UNDERPANTS Called in by a citizen.


Scanner Reports, Thursday:

  • Fire test call Batt:71, 121 West Carrillo
  • Premises check Ortega Park
  • Traffic Stop grey Ford 1400 Block of Las Positas the registration on the Ford was expired, also Traffic stop on a white Ford F-150 in the 300 Block of West Carrillo no plate.
  • Vehicle vs 2 Pedestrians Carpinteria High School 4800 Block of Foothill in Carpinteria.
  • 2 Reckless Jerks  in different colored BMW’s racing Southbound on the 101 cutting others off several near misses both got off at Garden street one went North on Garden street the other South.
  • Traffic Stop on a blue Toyota in the 900 Block of Cacique street.
  • 415pc in the 1200 Block of Liberty Family domestic.
  • Fall victim Medical call 300 Block of Rancheria
  • Transient refusing to leave address in the 700 Block of Embarcadero Del Norte.
  • Med call 700 Block of North Ontare.
  • Traffic Hazard Highway 101 Northbound at Salinas object in the slow lane.
  • Transients disturbing Goleta City Workers Walnut by the Bike Path.
  • Drunk Driver at the Grocery Outlet on DLV blue Subaru last 3 numbers on the plate “331” Parked in the middle of the parking lot.
  • Medical Call Olive at Sola for a hip injury.
  • SBPD on a bicyclist Garden at Haley streets.
  • Rape Investigation East Side no other information given out to protect the victim.
  • Medical Aide 1400 Block of Bath street.
  • Check the Welfare of a Homeless male down in the 3400 Block of State street alongside the 7-11.
  • Burglary to a vehicle on Camino Pass Cadero
  • Injury traffic Accident rollover Foothill at Ontare


Will that is all outta me for now. 3 Years ago on the 14th Valentines Day my Nephew Hung Himself, everytime I hear of a Suicide by hanging I cringe, his Brother and best friend found him dead he will more than likely never get the image of seeing his brother like that out of his mind, the anniversary of his death is always a sad time for my family. a family I left long ago though I live far away they are still close to my heart. If your thinking of taking your life get help to talk to someone about what is going on in your head. They used to say in AA Don’t leave before the miracle happens, the miracle might be right around the corner…Have a great Weekend…Peter, Molly, Belinda, Midnight, Merlin, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Tom Cat, Tomicina, Clancy, Tiger, Shadow, FREDDIE!, Maxwell, Liza, Zoey, Lola, PoPo, Tiny, Andy, Fish Heads One, and Two, Poncho, Denny, Zeke, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J. Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Ross, Rambo, Sherry, Eddie, Bambi, Pat, Mavis, Lafayette, Ted, Mark, Willie, Mrs MacArthur, Auntie Helen, Bengie, Ricky, David Cox, Po, Marty, Cop John, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Father Zimmerman, Joseph, Roger, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Crazy Ed, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry, LUCY!, Stobe the Hobo, KFC, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, John Havlick, Little Mac, Tom Petty, and Chris Willing we will see you on MONday-MONday.  Later,  Roger


Written by Roger

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