Scanner Reports 2-13-19

By Roger the Scanner Guy

A lot of scary things for me going on in my life lately. I’m not the kind of person that jumps into getting medical things done when there are problems in my life. I’m a big Chicken when it comes to those things avoid them at all costs like a dog that knows they have to go to the Vet. The time has come to do those things I have to do, but don’t want to do and I’m terrified mostly because I have no one there to hold my hand, or take care of my cat in case something happens. I’m terrified but if I was walking down the street and someone punched me or pulled a knife on me I’d probably hit them with my cane or fight them back, I’d stand up to them and kick their Hiney! Not the Doctor though I’m scared Poopyless of the Doctor even Doctor Feel Good scares me if I have to take a pill something the Doctor says will make me better, even an aspirin scares the HELL outta me. In the Day I’d pound a fifth of Whiskey, or Vodka without blinking an eye. Doesn’t matter now I have to do it, I have to go or I’m just going to feel like Poopy the rest of my life. It is what it is I guess.

Sometimes I have the strangest dreams and last night was no exception and probably along the lines of this fear I have of Doctors. I sleep at night with my neck brace on because my neck hurts a lot of the time from an injury and if I wear the brace at night sometimes I wake up with no pain for a couple hours it’s kinda nice. I woke up in the middle of the night in extreme pain my brace was off as well as my neck warmer ShoreBird knitted for me. I found the brace and put it back on and tried to get comfortable but couldn’t.  Finally, I drifted off to sleep in agony……and into a dream Donald Trump was there he said to me, “I’ve come down here to your HOOD because I know you have been talking Smack about me on FaceBook and I’m going to do something about it, Watch Out.” I walked away and he went off looking for others I guess. I had to go see a doctor so I went to the doctors office and opened the door sat down across from him at his desk. He seemed a little drunk or nuts telling me how things were when he first came to work at Cottage Hospital things were so much different then. The Doctor in my dream looked just like Jeff Bridges in the movie “The Vanishing.” Next thing you know Anthony Hopkins looking like Hannibal Lecter comes in grabs me by the neck and the hip and puts his weight on me as if he is going to Smoosh me, I scream like the Little Bitch I am and woke up, No Pain in my neck no pain what so ever! What the Hell was that?!!! I have weird dreams…..It’s been really cold the past couple of nights and last night my Good Friend and Edhat Reader Jessica came over and dropped off a couple warm blankets for me, they kept me warm all night.   Thank You Very Much  Jessica!   Here are your Scanner Reports.

Scanner Reports, Monday:

  • 1400 Block of Olive street a man walked up to a reporting party and asked if he could use their phone, they answered no and he became 415 angry..WMA 6′ feet tall last seen walking South on Olive street it was early in the morning and still dark when this happened so I understand the r.p. calling the police never know guy coulda come back started poopy with reporting party.
  • SBPD was on a group at Plaza Del Mar.
  • Campers blocking the sidewalk at 1000 Cacique street.
  • Derricks roofing 459ed Burglary 94 Fredrick Lopez by the Airport.
  • Parking violations Valerio at Thomas.
  • Transient sleeping in front of a church 603 Eucalyptus reporting party will sigh  for trespassing reminds me of Woody Guthrie for some reason.
  • Unwanted parent at Franklin School Trespassing 602pc.
  • Rocks flew from one vehicle onto another’s windshield on the 101 Southbound at Mission street
  • Vehicle vs Motorcycle North Fairview at La Lemora.
  • 415 Yeller Storke at Hollister.
  • Non injury accident possibly involving a city vehicle Rosemary Lane at Barker Pass.
  • Threats investigation 500 Block of East Guiterrez.
  • Non injury accident Anacapa at Anapamu.
  • Subject seen with a rifle in the 5200 Block of Figueroa Mountain Road hid from reporting party as they drove by.
  • Premises check Bohnett Park.
  • Premises check Parking lot 11  500 Block of Anacapa.
  • Amtrak Radio was talking about a possibly suicidal male somewhere near the rail road tracks sounded like the Lompoc area.
  • Campers in RV’s Padero at Santa Claus Lane.
  • Juvenile with a gunshot wound showed up at GVCH was transferred to Cottage code 3 Suspicious circumstances.
  • Check the welfare of an elderly female at MTD disoriented carrying an animal crate.
  • 400 Block of Milky Way in Santa Maria 415 Domestic banging around and yelling going on.


Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

  • Campers along the Tracks near Amtrak.
  • Foot Patrol 1100-1200 Blocks of State Street.
  • 459 Burglary on PineWood.
  • 20001 Felony hit and run investigation at Cottage Hospital occurred on Alisos.
  • Vandalism at Monroe School in the 400 Block of Flora Vista.
  • SBPD going through the Transient Camps highway 101 North and South Bound on and off ramps must be looking for someone.
  • Sexual Battery Investigation at the  Police Station.
  • Drinkers at Ortega Park.
  • 10851 Stolen vehicle was on highway 101 South Bound followed by CHP from a distance  and Copter one was responding but the thieves got a way missed make model of vehicle.
  • 500 Block of Pine med call unknown type.
  • 415 Loud Music 1400 Block of Olive.
  • Fall victim Public Accident Clifton at Samarkand.
  • Code 2 Medical Call at county jail.
  • 415 Subject in the Lobby of the Friendship Center on El Colegio in I.V.-
  • Suicide attempt East Side DownTown are of Santa Barbara by Over Dose on Pills.
  • Highway 101 at Refugio Med call.
  • Possible 10851 at K-Mart a guy let his girlfriend use his car and she has not returned it, he is standing by at K-Mart.
  • SBPD on a group at 601 State street.
  • 6 Juveniles refusing to leave the Tennis courts at SMHS.
  • A couple suspiciously sitting on the curb under the influence of what I did not hear at 130 West Calle Creaspas.
  • SBPD On a bicyclist in the 1000 Block of State street.
  • Med Call in the 3800 Block of Via Lucero.


Will I made an appointment to see the Doctor but it isn’t my doctor he is on vacation so I have to wait. Meanwhile I’m ill somewhat I have been there before. Hopefully the Fill In Doc will refill my meds I’m starting to think that I’m finally there  I will be on Medication the rest of my life…Will have a Wonderful WEDnesday…Peter, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Tom Cat, Clancy, Thomicina, Tiger, Shadow, FREDDIE! Maxwell, Midnight, Merlin, Lola, PoPo, Tiny, Andy, Fish Head One, and Two, Poncho, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J. Bread, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy Diana, Jim, Rambo, Sherry, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Pat, Mavis, Eddie, Bambi, Lafayette, Ted, Willie, Bengie, Ricky, Marty, Cop John, David Cox, Po, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Isabelle, Jerry, Debbie, Ken, LUCY! STOBE THE HOBO, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Tom Petty, and Chris Willing we will see you on FRYday.  Later, Roger


Written by Roger

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  1. I’m with you on the dreamscapes Roger, dreams are absolutely insane sometimes and I sometimes wake up and don’t know if they were real or if it was a dream. I usually remember them for a little while but if I don’t tell someone about it within a couple hours then later I can’t remember them.

  2. Openly carrying a rifle on the road near 2 schools (Midland School and The Family School) on a school day is not necessarily “nothing wrong.” Also also – 5200 Fig Mtn road is NOT in Los Padres…. So yeah, there IS something wrong with that and it should have been reported.

  3. Bid Bird, I had dinner with a guy that I met in the penitentiary who walked into a bar in Dallas and Mickey Mantle yelled out “Give that man a drink on me!” No, this is not a prelude not a joke. …
    Mickey was pretty well in the bag. My friend (you meet a really high class of people in the Federal Pen. Bank Robbers who are stone cold sober when they walk up to the teller to pay for their habit or get their car out of impound (the #1 cause of homelessness ). Big time dope dealers, mad bombers, federal building arsonists and a lot of Native Americans. Darwinian theory, this the survival of then
    The fittest, I’d want to have a whole prison full of guys like this in a bad sutuatui9n, like invasion by terrorist.

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