Scanner Reports 2-12-18

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Looks like the weather is coming. I know a mouse that is going to stay dry, the one Joey dumped in the house. I’ve been chasing him a couple days now, little bass turd. I could swear he is one of the trolls, when I tripped over my feet and did a header in the floor I could swear I heard giggling coming from the dresser. Been putting off Spring cleaning for about 4 years now, don’t have any choice now. Caught the little bass turd in my drawer relaxing next to a pile of dry cat food, been wondering how cat food’s been getting in my dresser lately.

For those of you that don’t sleep with rodents, then again maybe some of you do and don’t know it. Joey does this sort of thing. Once in a while some cats do, they want a friend to play with, bring em in the house, friend gets away Uh ooo Gotta go. So when Old Joey saw me on the floor Sunday morning looking at him, he gave me the “Oh Shit” look. I says to him “Joey I’m not mad at you just because I can’t get up off the friggen floor. Hey it’s pre existing conditions, not your fault. here come closer…” He ran away.

I got the Old zapper ou,t I don’t like killing things but don’t like having them in my little place either. If the little booger did not make a mess it might be ok, but he or she makes a mess, gotta go. So now my dresser is empty and smells like lavender and pine sol. I haven’t given this place a good cleaning since Belinda passed away, usually when someone passes away I clean, clean, clean. I ordered some brushes to clean out the dryer lint hopefully that is the problem if not then I’ll have to watch You Tube videos and figure it out. Then I might have to call my Uncle Billy to send me acouple Zappers he offered before everyone needs a rich Uncle Billy in their life. Spring Cleaning early only late by several years. I did score a nice AM-FM Fisher cassette stereo really loud it had a CD player but it was broken. I saw it in sticking out of a dumpster down the street and brought it home only to find part of it works, maybe I can blast that friggen mouse out of here. Worked with that weird woman a couple months ago, she did not like KTYD. They saved me from Grandma Stalker. Thank the good DOG for KTYD. Now I know how to get rid of those. I hate falling down always takes some time to heal from those falls Getting Old Sucks.

Here are your Scanner Reports, Friday:

  • Premises check 945 Ward Drive for a silver Escalade that almost hit a bicyclist reckless driver behind the wheel.
  • On a subject Coast Village Road at Olive Mill.
  • Possible wanted subject in the 3900 Block of State Street near the Mobil station.
  • Smoke investigation outside 1000 Block of Chino street.
  • 242 Assault on Sherwood 2000 Block Uncle beating a nephew with a stick, sounds more like a 245 Assault with a weapon.
  • Structure Fire 5000 Block of Rocoso Way.
  • Late accident report occurred on Thursday reported now probably did not start hurting till the next day reported FRYday 20001 Injury hit and run Carpinteria street in Santa Barbara 900 Block.
  • Shoplifter at Macys did not hear which one in the city.
  • 415 Domestic 2nd floor over the Palm restaurant in Carpinteria.
  • 415 Subject yelling in the parking lot of Starbucks 208 State street.
  • 415 Domestic 900 Block of Spring street.
  • Overdose and a death in Santa Barbara City Rest in Peace.
  • Check the Welfare of a man down next to a walker in the 2000 Block of Castillo at the Mobile station.
  • Olive Mill at Coast Village road Unqualified construction worker directing traffic never heard that one before.
  • Missing person in Romero Canyon.
  • Wanted Subject temporary barricaded himself in a bathroom in the 600 Block of Del Monte Police were just about to go in and get him when he gave up.
  • Non-injury traffic accident possible DUI Driver 1500 Block of San Andres.
  • 10851 Stolen Auto 500 Block of Dairy in Buellton a dark blue Honda CRV.
  • Smoke investigation inside a building 1400 Block of Chapala.
  • Camper in a stairwell 900 Block of Carpinteria ave in Santa Barbara.
  • 602 Trespassers on 2nd floor patio of Harding school.
  • Man draining his lizard on a building in the 400 Block of Pine in Goleta.
  • Intruder possibly under the influence kicked in the front door of Moss Motors in Goleta wonder if it was the draining lizard guy, did not hear anymore after the first report.
  • Vehicle rollover Highway 101 at Black.
  • East Side Neighborhood clinic Threats investigation I get scared when I hear calls from places I go to, I start wondering if I said the wrong thing on the phone answering machine.
  • Theft of a license plate on Marymount.


Scanner Reports, Saturday:

  • Structure Fire 4500 Block of Oak Glen bacon in the oven.
  • 23152 Drunk driver brown Lexus 101 NB off at Laguna.
  • Vehicle Accident 5800 Block of Hollister in front of Car Stereo Guys.
  • 415 Subject disturbed East side of Goleta pier at Goleta Beach.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject in the 600 Block of Garden street hadn’t been heard from in a few days.
  • 415 Subject possibly near the Airport harassing someone subjects first name is Matthew told a subject that he works for the State department but what he didn’t say is that he himself had warrants out for his arrest the SBSO Knew though when they heard his first name they knew exactly who he was…The lesson to be learned here is to NEVER impersonate a Federal employee when you have warrants out for your own arrest.
  • At Skaters Point a Black male adult with 2 pit bulls was seen punching one of them could it be that this is why some of the dogs are mean because they are abused?
  • 102 West Cabrillo prostitution in room 114 and a Pimp in the parking lot in a white sedan Investigation.
  • Wires down 600 Block of East Victoria.
  • Check the Welfare of a man down on the sidewalk 1317 State street.
  • 415 Subject at PetCo in the 3900 Block of State street.
  • Male in a blanket refusing to leave Cottage ER.
  • Lorenzo cut off his ankle monitor at Gaviota Beach.
  • Loud Potty in the 1100 Block of Cacique I wish they would drain their lizards quieter.
  • SBPD on a pedestrian at Salsipuedes and Gutierrez.
  • 415 Domestic Mother vs Daugther on Elise Way.
  • 300 Block of Mesa Lane 415 Domestic in a vehicle couple.
  • Possible 459 Burglary to the Storage area in San Roque Mobil home park 5700 Block of Via Real.
  • Drunk refusing to leave Paseo Nuevo.
  • Another one male in his 50’s attempting to stop traffic State and La Cumbre, Drunk.
  • Theft of a credit card on Del Playa. I would think everything else would get ripped off on Del Playa and that is what was left. Code 2 Medics in front of Galleria for a code 40, Drunk.


Scanner Reports, Sunday:

  • Suspicious Subject at Cabrillo High School all I heard.
  • Black Road at Tangle wood Drive vehicle accident.
  • 415 Subject Garden at Cabrillo.
  • 415 subject refusing to move his RV from the front of the Holiday Inn Express 17 West Haley maybe he is advertising cheaper rates.
  • Juveniles dumping sugar, throwing water at Dunkin Donuts in the 3700 Block of State street.
  • Medical call 6500 Block of Trigo.
  • Malfunctioning microwave oven 100 Block of East Mission they don’t work for me either, I’m a hot plate man myself.
  • Woman yelling 1400 Block of Euclid.
  • 10851 Stolen auto grey Frontier Nissan girls got caught will be enjoying sometime at the Beautiful Santa Maria Juvenile Hall….Yes you and your guests will receive some time to relax, and think about why you took off with that mans truck…Transportation will be provided by the Santa Barbara Police Department Your prize package is valued at acouple years in a juvenile camp and probation till your 18 Congratulations!.
  • 4100 Block of Harmony another stolen auto.
  • 415 At the Labor line reporting party threatened by a HFA in her 40’s.
  • Water main break 1400 Block of Harborview.
  • 3 Drunk males being loud 1000 Block of State street.
  • Premises check Castillo at the tracks.
  • Medical call 1000 Block of East DLG.
  • Transients sleeping in the stairwell at parking lot 10…..600 Block of Anacapa.
  • Traffic accident unknown if injury State street at Constance.
  • 500 Block of Majestic Drive 242 Assault code 2 Medics.
  • White suburban trespassing on East Mountain Drive per security guard.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject possibly drunk laying in the parking lot of Albertsons 7100 Block of Hollister.
  • 415 Between the reporting party and transients in the 600 Block of East Ortega…I guess that would be the park I thought that place was all cleaned up?


Will dat is all outta me for now Have a Wonderful WEDnesday….Peter, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Thomsina, Midnight, Merlin, Clancy, Fish Head One, Poncho, Jerry, Jonathan, C.J., Walter, Fred, Brad, Billy, Carl, Kent, Stan, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Rambo, Sherry, Bommy, Poppy, David Cox, POE, Bengy, Ricky, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Marty, Cop John, Isabelle, Jerry, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Tom Petty, and Chris willing we will see you on WEDnesday..  Later,  Roger


Written by Roger

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  1. Never had the cake but once when I was a young lad I only had a dime for an after school snack that bought a strawberry soda pop and I wanted a banana crème pie so I put the pie inside my shirt and stuck my tummy out as if I was overweight. The clerk saw through my shirt and pushed on my gut the banana crème went all over me he used my dime to call my mother but no one answered so I still got the pop a lot of the pie was on my shirt got that too. That happened at A&P.

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