Scanner Reports 12-5-18

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Someone barfed in my Milpas UNDERPANTS. I noticed it on my trip back from Rite Aide, my 2nd trip there forgetting coffee because one of the cashiers there has let down her hair and instead of getting coffee I find myself following her around the store. The barf looks like canned beef stew and when I saw it I remembered that once again I forgot the coffee, then I remembered the cashier with her hair down OH THE HELL WITH THE COFFEE! I’ll regret it in the morning when I have a choice of either Circle K. Coffee across the street or The Bakery next door kool aide, no taste very little caffeine…what a bummer! I look forward to my coffee every morning, every morning maybe I’ll try once more to remember the coffee only to see her and forget the beef stew. 2 Dollars for a cup of coffee at Circle K really isn’t bad but I prefer old school old man Maxwell house or Folgers, nice and cheap you know what I mean. All I drink is coffee and water anymore, not much pleasure in anything else, can’t drink liquor makes me too crazy.

Oh well I’m tired, hardly any sleep past few days, cleaned my cottage first time in years pretty much. It was very hard to do a lot of arthritis pain but I got it done. All happy cause my house was all clean and I bought a washing machine then the washing machine took a dump yesterday. This is all just part of life, when things like this are happening at least you’re staying busy. You may not like it because forgetting things and things breaking down all the time makes life hard but it also keeps you busy and what more in this life can you ask for but staying busy. If you’re staying busy, you’re staying out of trouble usually. 

Scanner Reports, Monday:

  • Construction Accident fatality 600 Block of East Montecito Rest in Peace.
  • vehicle Accident vehicle off Ortega Ridge minor injuries.
  • La Mesa Park Premises check.
  • Med Call 1200 Block of Quinientos fainter.
  • Highway 101 South at Patterson vehicle accident non injury.
  • SUV hit and ran a deer leaving it injured in the road near the Paradise store, Paradise at Highway 154 Someone has to be cold-blooded to do that.
  • Highway 101 at 150 Hit and Run no injuries.
  • 911 Hang up Woman heard crying in the back round 800 Block of Bond Avenue.
  • Anutter non injury hit and run 3400 Block of Highway 246 near the Chumash Casino.
  • Yet Anutter Hit and Run no injuries highway 166 in New Cuyama.
  • Fire Alarms no Fire 100 Block of DLG Smoke detector at the Natural Museum.
  • Fatal Motorcycle accident Entrance to SBCC Rest in Peace.
  • Check the welfare of a subject down at Garden and Guiterrez.
  • Code 60 Vehicle Blocking reporting party needs to leave someone probably got towed.
  • Keep the Peace Landlord Tenant 3000 Block of Lucinda Lane.
  • Subjects camping blocking the sidewalk 900 Block of Cacique police ran one for wants and warrants he was a 290 registrant with a 288 record Child Molester. It’s always good to know who is camping in your HOOD.
  • Possible 245 Assault with a deadly weapon 1200 Block of Punta Gorda.
  • Code 60 Parked vehicle blocking Voluntario at Cacique.
  • Med call at the Californian 2225 DLV.
  • Water main break 1300 Block of East Valley Road.


Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

  • Missed the one hundred block but there was a 459 Burglary to a residence on El Segundo.
  • Transient refusing to leave 7-11 at 331 West Montecito.
  • SBPD was on a subject at Haley and Montecito street.
  • Theft on Foxenwood package off a porch 900 Block suspect vehicle a silver Chrysler 300 no license plate.
  • 23103 Bicycle Westbound on Mission from State street black bicycle, rider dressed in black.
  • Betteravia at Brown Fatal vehicle accident.
  • Vehicle Fire engine compartment front gate to Vandenberg.
  • SBSO Officer on a detail at the courthouse one never knows where our police officers are lurking in search for criminals.
  • Med Call county jail unknown type.
  • Traffic stop 900 Block of Anacapa on a red Camry.
  • 20002 Non injury hit and run at Tri-County Produce 335 South Milpas in the parking lot.
  • Fall victim on 10 Acre Road 2100 Block.
  • 242 Assault male hit a female 535 East Yanonali.
  • Wanted subject probation requested an assist from SBPD In the 100 Block of West Anapamu.
  • 242 Assault at a Bus Stop in Ventura 3300 Block of Telegraph Road.
  • Shoplifter named Christian detained at El Rancho Market 2886 Mission Drive.
  • SBSO checking on the homeless camp just South of Fairview off highway 101 at the RR Tracks.
  • Student threatening to harm others at El Camino School on San Simeon in Goleta.
  • 23152 Drunk Driver Sycamore Canyon at Via Corona white 2001 Toyota Tacoma.
  • Suspicious circumstances HMA pulling female by the arm toward the Fig Tree behind Amtrak 209 State street.
  • Civil dispute between a Landlord and a Tenant at Nomad Village in the 4300 Block of Calle Real.


The package thieves are out there, if you’re at Work or just out and about have your neighbors watch your house if you have packages coming. This has been a pubic service announcment from Roger the Scanner Guy That is all outta me for now Have a great WEDnesday…Peter, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Tom Cat, Clancy, Thomicina, Tiger, Midnight, Merlin, Lola, PoPo, Shadow, FREDDIE! Fish Head One, and Two, Poncho, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Rambo, Sherry, David Cox, Po, Marty, Cop John, Eddie, Bambi, Bengie, Ricky, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Pat, Mavis, Lafayette, Ted, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Isabelle, Jerry, Debbie, Ken, LUCY! STOBE THE HOBO, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Tom Petty, and Chris willing we will see you on FRYday…Later,  Roger



Written by Roger

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