Scanner Reports 11-1-19

By Roger the Scanner Guy

It sure is cold in the early mornings. Lately, I put on my long Johns the other night and woke up sweating around 1 A.M. Took them off woke up freezing at 4 A.M. Yikes!!! Whenever it’s hot it’s 10 degrees hotter in my place, cold 10 degrees colder. Nothing is ever normal in my life, nor never has been. I was looking at my Hometown Facebook page the other day, I like to go on there looking for folks I used to know, once in a great while I find people I knew way back then, what I find interesting and what attracts me most is what many would guess The Old Days.

The Old Days of Hammond, Indiana we had  many stores downtown but two in particular that no longer exist “Wayne’s Trick Shop, and The Army, Navy Store.” They were pretty much side by side. I spent many hours of my childhood in both stores from the Tricks I bought at Wayne’s Trick Shop and pulled on my Family, and Fiends. From the snapping pack of gum, the hand buzzer, itching powder, fake foamy beer, cigarette loads, fake vomit, and poop. I once used a whole pack of cigarette loads in one of my Mother’s L&M Cigarettes packing the top with just enough tobacco. My Dear, Sweet, Innocent Mother sitting there on the phone with her best friend Lucille blabbing away one early Sunday Morning sipping her Lipton Tea she pulled out the cigarette put it in her mouth lit it took a long pull put it in the ashtray. It was sitting there smoking loaded with explosives I thought it might go off before she put it back in her mouth but then she picked it up put it in her mouth took a hit….”POW!!!” When the smoke cleared my Mother was frozen she had dropped the phone with Lucille yelling “Marianne!,Marianne! Are you all right?” There was a blasted cigarette butt sticking out of her mouth and little pieces of burn’t paper in her hair some still floating down. She was never the same after that and all it took was .15 Cents.

My Father loved his Schlitz so I bought him a phony box of foamy food coloring that tasted like Shit. I filled his favorite pitcher and left it there all day. He was quite surprised when he got home from work and went for his normal can of Schlitz and found out I had poured them all in a pitcher though. I loved his Schlitz beer too and drank them all he took a big drink of that cold crap spitting it everywhere and knocked the Holy Hell out of me for drinking his beloved Schlitz funny I did not feel a thing. I miss Wayne’s Trick Shop. The things a young kid could buy in an Army/Navy Surplus back in the 60’s just let your imagine run wild long before there were all these damn regulations and rules back in the 1960’s most of the stock was from WW One, and WW Two, Think of what those artifacts would be worth today. I bought an Army field jacket for 5 bucks which I wore everywhere, and many lock blade knives, bags, backpacks, tents, all cheap. Bayonets were 5 Bucks, there were German helmets, U.S. Army helmets uniforms, grenades without the explosives inside of them, Army holsters, Axes, there was a Hunting area for the older Folks with rifles, handguns, fishing equipment I have two professional fishermen in my family so we were big into all that stuff in the day. After I got my field Army jacket in my rebellious years I bought a thick black marker and wrote S.L.A. on the back scaring the crap out of everyone who saw it Dumb Bass Kid…Where are all those things now?   In my mind which I lost many Moons again but not my Memories….Mad Dog 20-20. Here are Your Scanner Reports.

Scanner Reports, Wednesday:

  • BOLO first thing in the morning a subject wearing all black Highway 101 Southbound exiting the freeway at Castillo, dangerous.
  • 242pc Assault State street at Canon Perdido Suspect a WMA in his 40’s medium build wearing a black shirt and pants, victim at Santa Barbara street and East Carillo.
  • 415pc 3 Subjects disturbing at McDonalds in the 1200 Block of State street.
  • Mutual Aide Santa Barbara County and City Fire Vandenberg, to Simi Valley.
  • Cover unit requested at Smart and Final 217 East Guitierrez.
  • Premises check Bath street and the Rail Road Tracks.
  • Overdose on Heroin in a white vehicle in the 5 Points parking lot near Starbucks.
  • Overdose 1700 Block of Broadway in Santa Maria.
  • Tamales aka Corn Vendor in the Parking lot for sale Smart and Final 217 East Guitierrez.
  • Overdose in the 4100 Block of State street.
  • Gasoline spill 30 Los Patos Way non-chemical but Hazmat.
  • Med call Fire Station Five in the 2500 Block of Modoc.
  • Med call 1800 Block of East Carrillo.
  • 415 Domestic Ortega and Sapsitudes Male and female shoving each other.
  • Bathing suit thieves from 10 State street two females in a lite Blue Honda Accord last seen North on State street.
  • Another thief from CVS on Milpas heavy set HFA carrying 2 Bags North on Milpas Striped shirt black pants she ripped off cosmetics, Striped top already for jail.
  • Male hitting male boxes in the 1200 Block of State street acting aggressive.
  • 2 Jerk males at Amtrak threatening to kill Amtrak riders they did not say why? Transients.
  • On Guitierrez at State street across from Casa Blanca a BMA beating a female in a vehicle, tough guy.
  • 242pc Assault 1000 Block of Cliff Drive.
  • Check the Welfare of a male in a vehicle passed out next to a gas pump at Arco 3618 State street.
  • Subject stuffing garbage in the bushes while smoking the WEED! AT 110 East Montecito next to Santa Barbara Koi.
  • Hit and Run investigation in the ER at Cottage Hospital contact the 13-Year-old Victim. Someone hit and ran a 13 Year old kid and kept going? 20001pc Potential Felony hit and run.
  • Smoke investigation in the 600 Block of East Valerio.


Scanner Reports, Thursday

  • 459 Audible alarm no crime Wine Cast 800 Block of Anacapa.
  • Subject trespassing in the underground parking garage at 1111 East Cabrillo.
  • At Palisades and Cliff Drive, “Red Beard” running up and down driveways.
  • Check on subjects drinking to the front of Bank of the West on State street.
  • 415 Transient refusing to leave Macy’s at La Cumbre Plaza property, will his alarm hasn’t gone off yet.
  • Traffic Accident in the 300 Block of North Milpas street.
  • Easy Valley Road in Montecito missed cross Road broken 2 inch gas pipe.
  • 21 West Carrillo street Medical Call Gold’s Gym.
  • Medical Emergency in a Santa Maria Police Unit at highway 101 and Mariposa Reina, Southbound off ramp.
  • Smoke check Highway 101 at Constellation turned out to be road work.
  • SBPD on a subject Bond at Milpas streets.
  • Reporting party called in a subject who assaulted his wife 3 Days ago in Bohnett Park I don’t think the police found the guy but they looked.
  • Med call 500 Block of West Sola.
  • Non injury traffic accident Hollister at Walnut.
  • Leaf Blower 300 Block of El Monte Drive call has been holding
  • 200 Block of Vista Del Mar Fall victim
  • Med Call 400 Block of Santa Fe Place
  • Reckless Driver Black Chevy Silverado Highway 101 exited at Milpas street swerving
  • Med Call 7400 Block of Evergreen Drive
  • Skateboarders disturbing at Washington School 280 Lighthouse.
  • 415pc Transient disturbing at Starbucks 500 Block of State street.


Will I met my new Doctor today she is real nice I like her . I was so nervous taking the bus there with my walker getting into everyone’s way on the bus I walked home which I am not supposed to do so now I am in total agony. Sometimes I think I like pain. My blood sugar is down I lost 20 pounds, my blood pressure is up a little, I have horrible sinuses. Have a wonderful weekend…Peter, Molly, Belinda, Midnight, Merlin, Lola, PoPo, Tom Cat, Clancy, Tomicina,Tiger, Shadow, FREDDIE!,Maxwell, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Tiny, Andy, Fish Heads, One, and Two, Poncho, Denny, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Ross, Rambo, Sherry, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Mrs. MacArthur, Auntie Helen, Marty, Cop John, David Cox, Po, Pat, Mavis, Eddie, Bambi, Mark, Willie, Lafayette, Ted, Bengie, Ricky, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Crazy Ed, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry, LUCY!, STOBE THE HOBO, KFC, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, John Havlick, Little Mac, Tom Petty, and Chris willing we will see you on MONday-MONday…Later,  Roger


Written by Roger

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