Scanner Reports 1-9-19

By Roger the Scanner Guy

“My name is Luka I live on the Second Floor, I live upstairs from you, Yes I think you’ve seen me before.” This song has been stuck in my head for 3 Days!  I used to love this song now I got Suzanne Vega’s voice stuck in my head but I when I counter it with Dwight Yoakam and George Straight, it breaks the obsession of the Ear Worm in my head. Of course later on when I go to bed Luka takes over again, or whatever other song I get stuck in my head. A couple weeks ago it was Harvest Moon by Neil Young, I vaguely remember that tune. I’m sure it will come to me again later when I get rid of Luka.

I have been feeling like the Road Runner and Wile Coyote lately with my anger, someone does something to me Beep, Beep! But I won’t do anything it’s the thought that counts. My thoughts keep me entertained, I’m glad that they cannot be read by the authorities that might be a problem though most of us have wayward thoughts even those who swear up and down they don’t. Just don’t act on them I used to act on my thoughts most were harmless like the time I put the whole tin of cigarette loads in one of my mom’s cigarettes, Boy! She really had a blast! Or the time my dad was working on the engine of the car and had his hands in there and I was behind the wheel with the engine running, my foot slipped but I don’t think he believed me. He jumped up real fast and hit his head on the hood of the car it was kinda funny in a way he did not think so but when he knocked me around he seemed to enjoy it so I wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. I haven’t had those thoughts for a long time, 20 minutes or so.

I think the MILPAS  UNDERPANTS needs to be bleached again it’s getting pretty rank in there. I saw this stuff that looked like chocolate milk spilled in there the other day but it wasn’t chocolate milk I see barefoot kids walking through there all the time pretty gross kids don’t know what it is. Here are your Scanner Reports.

Scanner Reports, Monday:

  • Large Oak tree down 1200 Block of West Valerio.
  • Transient refusing to leave the men’s restroom at Marborg in the 800 Block of Cacique
  • Traffic Accident highway 101 Southbound near the Nojoqui Summit
  • Burglary investigation 300 West Arrellaga
  • Road Rage 100 Block of Castillo
  • 245pc In Solvang did not hear whole call police said the suspect was captured at Sandalwood and Myrtlewood
  • Med Call SBHS unconscious student in the library 700 Block of East Anapamu
  • 415 Female yelling near Lot 6 and the Granada building being 415 Disturbing
  • 1200 Block of Cacique female yelling for help call
  • Med Call 300 Block of Morton Bay Lane
  • 20002 Non injury hit and run First block of West Figueroa
  • Subjects blocking the sidewalk Quarantina and Powers
  • Probation was conducting an arrest in the 1200 Block of San Andres I wonder if the conducter was there?
  • SBPD on a group First East Haley Drinking and Disturbing
  • Subject in Custody don’t know why 900 Block of State street waiting for the Black and White cab service
  • Med Call fall victim 1800 Block of DLV street
  • Male Down in a room Villa Santa Barbara 227 East Anapamu
  • Drunk Driver 7-11  331 West Montecito Brown Volvo
  • Illegal Burn MILPAS UNDERPANTS  Engine number 2 cruised through not sure if they found an illegal burn
  • There was a 459 Burglary to a vehicle call but it turned out the subject locked his keys in his truck and had to break in to get them out this was at Marina 3


Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

  • Med Call unknown type at the Dolphin Fountain Foot of Stearn’s Wharf
  • 242 Assault investigation at the Faulding Hotel
  • Check the Welfare of a female behind a green transformer box with dried blood on her face 834 North Milpas police said it was code 4
  • Med call subject down at the bus stop 706 East Haley
  • Check the Welfare of a female sitting in a white truck with a camper shell 300 Block of Argon Circle
  • 800 Block of Vine 242 Assault investigation
  • First Block of La Cadena Keep the Peace Bail Bondsman on scene
  • PD on a Bicyclist 900 Block of Quinientos
  • 415 Subjects at Motel 6  443 Corona Del Mar possibly code 40, Drunk
  • 242 Assault investigation SBSO Lobby
  • 10851 Recovery a Forklift found on South Kellogg stolen from the 600 Block of Ward Drive
  • Vandalism 600 Block of San Pascual graffiti
  • Fall victim Villa Santa Barbara in a room, Med Call
  • Med call 300 Block of West Pueblo
  • Check the Welfare of a subject who has not been seen for a few days unlike him 4100 Block of Second street
  • 415 Subject yelling inside a structure in the 900 Block of DLV
  • Shoplifters CVS Turnpike pulled over at San Marcos and Hollister
  • Theft investigation 200 Block of West Alamar
  • Missing subject 500 Block of West Canon Perdido found  in the 1100 Block of San Andres
  • Check the welfare of a subject in a sleeping bag at Quinto and Bath street.


I found this cool little metal flashlight over at Rite Aide, it’s very bright, where you turn it on has a red flashing light so you could tie it to your head and run around in circles if you want to scare people but no siren on it. It’s called a Life Gear flashlight they run about 5 bucks and batteries are included I like to use them as reading lights I have a couple. Anyway That is all outta me for now Have a great WEDnesday…Peter, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Tom Cat, Clancy, Thomicina, Tiger, Midnight, Merlin, Lloa, PoPo, Shadow, FREDDIE! Tiny, Andy, Fish Head One and Two, Poncho, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Rambo, Sherry, David Cox, Po, Marty, Cop John, Eddie Bambi, Bengie, Ricky, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Pat, Mavis, Lafayette, Ted, Magruder, Don, Edwin,Cory, Isabelle, Jerry, Debbie, Ken, LUCY! STOBE THE HOBO, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Tom Petty, and Chris willing we will pee you on FRYday.  Later,  Roger


Written by Roger

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  1. Wikipedia is not a reliable source, but nice try. Withholding funds for victims of wildfire because D.T. doesn’t agree with a decision state politicians made feels very callous and is incredibly immature. FEMA aid should not be dependent on whether or not California aids undocumented immigrants. Why the two are even being connected is beyond me. I think you’d be singing a different tune if it was your house that was destroyed in one of those fires. Your lack of empathy is frightening.

  2. Apparently, the State of California has PLENTY of money to throw around and distribute, so what does a few hundred million from FEMA make…? That amount is spent DAILY to all the illegals (undocumented) that are here using FREE medical care, Food Debit Cards, subsidized housing, the list goes on and on… All with the approval of our State politically-correct Politicians … SO PAY UP CALIFORNIANS!

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