Scanner Reports 1-1-20

By Roger the Scanner Guy

The Chicago Bears will not win the Super Bowl in 2020. Not everyone will stick to their Nude Year’s Resolutions either, people will still be complaining about everything and everyone. Crime will still climb, there will still be people choosing to end their own lives, others who end other people’s lives, Sprouts will put off opening for another year on South Milpas. In other words, it will be more of the same just a different year and a new decade to look forward to. Just my take on all of it I hope I’m wrong I hope the Chicago Bears do win the Super Bowl.

I saw Mike on MONday on my way to Trader Joes he was walking towards me with his usual pissed off looking face he looked thinner with less hair but was wearing the same get-up he was wearing when he took me out with his tiny motorbike several months ago. I was pushing my walker taking over 3 feet of sidewalk, he had less of a foot to get by. I usually stop and get out of the way for others but not this guy. I’m pushing a walker now and he is one of the reasons, I was not about to give up my 3 feet of sidewalk space. We were headed directly for each other, his lips were moving he was talking shit under his breath like last time he moved over a little more at the last second giving up a couple more inches of his right of way and it’s a good thing too my Walker would have Sucked him up like a Wood Chipper and I woulda kept right on going. I hope ya all had a Good New Years’ Eve stay outta trouble and stay safe don’t Drive Under the influence of anything and Have a Great Nude Beers Day Too!   HERE are YOUR SCANNER REPORTS.

Scanner Reports, Monday:

  • Med call PATH 816 Cacique.
  • Alarm sounding employee does not have passcode 100 Block of East Yanonali
  • Smoke Investigation inside a residence 800 Block of Alston Road.
  • Camper 300 Block of East Figueroa
  • Medical Aide 2500 Block of Treasure Drive Samarkand
  • Subject in the bathroom refusing to leave Starbucks 208 West Carrillo
  • Smoke investigation outside Highway 101 Northbound at Castillo white smoke seen coming from the bushes
  • Possible squatter in a vacant structure somewheres on West Montecito found one he was arrested
  • Little Brats West Bound on De La Guerra throwing rocks at houses and people brats wearing black hoodies and riding little bicycles
  • Highway 166 at Bull Canyon Stolen vehicle idling at that location all I heard except the California plate
  • Little Boogers started out in the 700 Block of North Voluntario throwing rocks at houses and people last seen West on De La Guerra. Domestic Terrorism I was one once.
  • 23103 Reckless female driving a vehicle on Hollister at Nectarine swerving has dog in the back pulled over Kellogg at Armitos.
  • 242pc Assault 400 Block of Lincoln Wood
  • 415 Domestic Mother-Daughter 400 Block of North Voluntario.
  • Smoke investigation inside a residence in the 2700 Block of DLV
  • Premises check SBHS Baseball field.
  • 417 Brandishing scissors during a Family Domestic in the 300 Block of West Pedregosa.
  • 415 Verbal Domestic 3200 Block of State street.
  • Drinker behind the First Block of North Alisos on Allure Drunk Black Male in his 40’s wearing a beenie a grey Sweatshirt and Jeans.
  • 2 Subjects sleeping on the sidewalk in a sleeping bag 1000 Block of East Mason.
  • 1100 Block of Chapala  male went to the bathroom behind a trash can call has been holding. I bet he is gone by now.
  • Check the Welfare of a Homeless male camping in the area of the Natural History Museum 2500 Block of Plesta Del Sol.
  • Campers in the 200 Block of West Cannon Perdido.
  • Crack Pipe found at the REAR Entrance of a building in the 600 Block of Garden street. CRACK Pipe found at the REAR Entrance. No that sounds perfectly normal.
  • Keep the Peace over Child Custody 100 Block of Los Aquarius.
  • 459 Burglary to a garage in the 200 BHlock of West Figourea.
  • 242pc In the 500 Block of Cornail.
  • 415 Female yelling in the House of Laundry 310 North Milpas.
  • Med call 1900 Block of Castillo.


Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

  • 415pc Male in McDonalds upset over being asked to leave 29 North Milpas.
  • Code 2 Medics at the Airport entrance for a Motorcycle vs a Bicycle.
  • Medical Aide 2800 Block of Serena Road.
  • AC 3 on a DOA 2900 Block of Los Positas AC 3, Animal Control.
  • Fire Alarms no Fire 3400 Block of Richland Drive.
  • Train vs Pedestrian at the Rincon Fatality Rest in Peace.
  • Check the welfare of a subject under a Blanket in the 600 Block of Bath Street.
  • Medical Call Theresa Street in Carpinteria.
  • CSI Crime Scene Investigation Tri County Regional Center 520 East Montecito Don’t know why.
  • Hold Up Alarm no Hold Up 76 Station in the 3800 Block of State street.
  • 415pc  Over a dog bite 500 Block of Sola.
  • Code 2 Medics for a dog bite 500 Block of West Sola.
  • Semi into a gas meter 4700 Block of Carpinteria Ave.
  • SBPD On a subject at Vera Cruz Park
  • Stomach Wound at the Prison, all I heard there
  • Med Call 323 East Cabrillo
  • 602pc Trespasser in the Garden SBCC female in a sleeping bag, dog with her
  • 415pc Domestic 3700 Block of Gregory Way
  • Medical Call at the Sideways Inn on Highway 246
  • Graffiti in the Bathroom 323 East Cabrillo.
  • Injury Accident Pesetas Lane 215 in the back parking lot of Sansum Clinic.
  • Vehicle vs Pedestrian 7400 Block of Hollister.
  • Vehicle Accident Highway 101 Southbound at the Jameson On Ramp.
  • Illegal Burn Homeless folks using a BBQ North Quarantina at East Montecito the Fire Department put it out.
  • Suspicious Circumstances subject stabbing the padding on a light post with a six inch pocket knife at Pershing Park.
  • Suspicious Circumstances in the 200 Block of West Carrillo they did not say what they were.
  • Check the area of the 800 Block of North Milpas street for a green lazer light trained on Aircraft flying over.
  • Unresponsive Subject in a bathroom 200 Block of South Milpas possible Overdose Transported to Cottage.
  • Juvenile with an open container in the parking lot of the Hilton 633 East Cabrillo.
  • Suicidal subject trying to drink themselves to death 500 Block of De La Vina I tried that for 8 years finally sobered up.
  • Illegal Burn 209 State street.
  • Structure Fire 129 East Anapamu.
  • 20002 Non injury hit and run Rustys 111 State street victim vehicle a black Tesla suspect vehicle a Rustys delivery vehicle.
  • 415 Investigation 1200 Block of Del Oro.
  • 2 Vehicles an RV and heavy foot traffic 100 Block of Vista Del La Cumbre
  • 10851pc Stolen Ford Explorer 601 East Micheltorena.
  • Motel Room break in 3525 State street Sand Piper Lodge.
  • UI Boyfriend yelling inside 1500 Block of Garden street.
  • Fall Victim head injury Mara Villa Club House.
  • Solo vehicle rollover West Mail at Calle Caesar Chavez.
  • Subject accidentally broke his ankle monitor calling police on himself 100 Block of North Milpas street.
  • Possible structure fire 900 Block of North  L  Street in Lompoc
  • 415pc Fight in the street 4 Subjects started out as a Vehicle Vandalism call 300 Block of West Pedregosa


I ran into a woman today that reads Roger at Rite Aide and she was a Neighbor of mine at one time not only that she is from the Midwest originally and vacationed in Eagle River Wis. the same place my Folks took me when I was a kid…I already misplaced her name, I’m sorry… I’m not good with names anymore I think her name was Barbara she did say her Husbands name was Roger, I remember that name I don’t know why…She was my Neighbor on Chiquita Road when I rented a studio in the bottom of a house owned by a Doctor I only got into trouble there acouple times I’ll have to tell you guys about it one of these days anyway Have a Happy and Safe New Years…Peter, Molly, Belinda, Miidnight, Merlin, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Lola, PoPo, Shadow, FREDDIE!,Maxwell, Tom Cat, Clancy, Tomicina, Tiger, Tiny, Andy, Fish Head One and Two, Poncho, Denny, Zeke, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Ross, Rambo, Sherry, Eddie, BambiMrsw. MacArthur, Auntie Helen,, Lafayette, Ted, Pat, Mavis, Willie, Mark,Ricky, Bengie, David Cox, Po, Marty, Cop John, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Crazy Ed, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry, LUCY!,STOBE THE HOBO,KFC, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, John Havlick, Little Mac, Tom Petty, and Chris Willing we will see you next year. Later,  Roger


Written by Roger

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Brian Martin

2019 Words of the Year