Scanner Reports 6-4-18

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Just another MONday. It twas April the 8th 1999. I was just cut loose from jail, I hate jail always have it was a fitting punishment because I hated it so much and usually kept my nose clean to avoid it. I was in there for the usual stupid things that Drunks do. Sheriff Anderson walked by my cell and I yelled “Hey! I voted for you!” I was hoping he’d cut my time and kick me loose but he just laughed, they all laugh.

BackTrack Easter Sunday was the 4th and Donna was coming over for dinner and wine, hopefully more. I bounced a check over at Trader Joe’s for wine and ham, all the trimmings I bought about a dozen bottles of booze, Donna came over we got drunk and went to bed. The ham continued to slowly cook in a roasting pan on the stove, she left too soon taking a couple bottles of wine, some smoke, and cash when she left. She did not like I wasn’t working anymore, we were pretty much finished since I got hurt she couldn’t relieve me of my cash anymore now that I was broke. She was worth all the money I had but now I had none so she did not spend much time with me she probably had someone else. It was just as well, I kept drinking after she left, bottle after bottle the ham cooking on I have no idea how long it cooked didn’t matter I was cooking now. I drank and smoked cigarettes went next door where there was another party, Cal was always partying he owned Taylors Moving and when he and his Boys were not moving furniture they were drinking. I was drinking their beers they was drinking my wine . Every time we’d start to run out of beer Cal would cough up the cash and I’d make the beer run. He liked Budweiser and nothing else but acouple times I got 18 packs of Budlight. “You SONOFABITCH You’re Stealing the beer and pocketing the cash you SONOFABITCH!” that I was, he knew me. I went back got his BUDweiser and I still had 36 Bud Lights stashed in the bushes for later.

After a bit Cal passed out no more” Beer daddy.” I went for the Bud Light shared it with others, when it was all gone I went to Circle K and took a 12 pack of Coronas telling them I’d get them on pay day. That did not go over to well, they called Santa Barbara’s Finest while they were responding I took a little more beer and went home. Acouple hours later I was out of beer and needed more so I went back with my check book. The gal behind the counter was screaming at me they did not take checks and something about not smoking in the store when she said I’m calling the police again. I said “Go ahead I’ll mow them down like bowling pins.” I did not know I said that, at the time they told me later when I was Hog tied in the back seat of the patrol car. Best part about it is they forgot to read me my rights I was not arrested for the actions of Easter SUNday there were several warrants. I was really lucky my rights had not been read to me because I would have got time, formal probation search and seizure etc. I would have failed miserably, I was not ready to quit drinking and be entirely good yet. I still got stuck with the warrants and paying restitution for 3 counts of vandalism for windows, and buildings I attacked while drunk, $1,300.00 in Damages that on top of the bounced checks I covered those before the store owners filed charges but I had to pay for my Beer Running spree another hundred bucks.

I got cut loose just after Midnight on April the 8th no one to call I walked, around 2am I got to Donna’s she threw me out. I rested a bit and continued walking. I got home alittle after 3ish found my smokes and lit up, after a couple smokes I copped acouple winks in my chair. Around 6 I opened my eyes the house stunk like rotton food I found the ham in the sink in the pan bugs all over it cigarette butts put out on it, the place needed a good scrubbing and airing out. I opened all the windows and the only door then I went across the street to Texaco, Shakey was there turned me on to a pack of smokes, coffee…Just get out?” he asked with a grin on his mug and added I heard about you trying to take on the police Flipper saw the whole thing he’s scared of you now. Flipper was Texaco’s helper Room and Board in the back room that was the only thing that made me happy because I was scared of Flipper, he was nothing like the Dolphin, this Flipper was truly scary. Dude did not even know he had dead decomposing rats under his sofa anyway I think you know what I mean. After a couple cups of mud I went home it was time to Pine Sol the joint FROM TOP TO BOTTOM ONLY TOOK ACOUPLE HOURS (THEN)…I got around the corner noticed my door was shut, weird I went to open the door it was locked I thought that was really strange then I noticed the windows shut too…I had the keys so went to unlock the door and there was something behind it “What the….?” I said allowed there was a body aganist the door. “WHAT THE HELL GET OUTTA HERE!” It was a guy I took in he wasn’t moving and I was thinking if he aien’t dead he is going to be I pushed and pushed almost breaking the door but I finally got it open. He was getting up and cussing half way up he started swinging at me connecting acouple times knocking my glasses off NO ONE HITS MY GLASSES Those are my eyes…I grabbed him by the head and dragged him out the door and down the driveway then I picked him up over my head and threw him into the cactus plants…He landed upside down stuck on the cactus spines and I think he invented a new type of screaming I never quite heard the sounds he was making…I says “You broke my friggen glasses, tried to take over my home, and punched me in the face you had it coming you come back I’ll give you worse!” I pulled him out of the cactus and shoved him down the driveway he did not come back for along time a couple weeks after the cactus incident he ripped off an MTD Bus and got a few years for it in the joint. Ten years later he walked up my driveway and thanked me for tossing him in the cactus he told me after driving off with the bus he sobered up A.A. 10 Years he told me I told him 7 without a drink I don’t go to meetings I told him it works for me I’m still off the booze 15 years now I hope he still is be 18 years for him…Anyway That there is the story of Cactus Boy…Happened at Old Man Hurd’s place 200 Block of South Milpas, back in One nine and NinetyNine.

Scanner Reports, Friday:

• Someone knocking on the doors and windows of a residence on Camino De Vida.
• Medical call for an ill subject at New house 227 West Haley.
• Facial injury after a traffic accident Boone at Russel.
• Medical call for a subject slumped over the wheel of a white Dodge Envoy at 5 Points in front of Starbucks.
• 415 Homeless subject trying to open up a door of a business in the 600 Block of State street.
• SBPD on 3 subjects at Ortega Park.
• SBPD on a group at McKenzie Park
• Burglary investigation 1500 Block of San Andres.
• Camper 200 Block of Por La Mar.
• Camper under the CACIQUE Street UNDERPANTS.
• Suicide by Gunshot SB County Santa Barbara.
• Suicidal subject 1600 Block of Elvenhoy.
• Overdose 3900 Block of Berry wood.
• Burglary to a vehicle guns stolen 600 Block of West Micheltorena
• Shoplifter at Home Improvement 415 East Guiterrez.
• Homeless issue Trespassing at the Ramada Inn 4770 Calle Real.
• 415 LandLord Tenant 620 West Guiterrez.
• Weirdo flying a drone in the reporting party’s backyard 1000 Block of Portsuello.
• Olive Mill at San Benito Way Traffic Accident.
• 5150 in Bohnett Park disturbing
• 415 At Wendys in Goleta subject chasing employees.
• Leg laceration due to a Skill saw the incident in the 1400 Block of APS.

Scanner Reports, Saturday:

• Possible overdose 900 Block of Olive street.
• Patient at Cottage ER not being very patient threatened staff 320 West Pueblo.
• Illegal dumping 1700 Block of Lassen.
• Suicidal subject wants to overdose has a knife on him Milpas at Carpinteria.
• Possible Road Rage 76 Station 1101 East Clark subject in a beige sedan threatening to 187 Murder kids in a green Ford Explorer.
• Suspicious circumstances something broke off in a door lock 500 Block of West Los Olivos.
• Harbor Patrol on a subject at the Launch Ramp.
• SBPD looking for a suicidal subject highway 101 Northbound Offramp at Milpas.
• Vehicle Fire fully involved Highway 101 Northbound South of Los Almos.
• Sting Ray Stung 200 Block of West Cabrillo across from Sambos.
• 484 Theft from a front yard On West Mason first block subject took and ran climbing down into Mission Creek I guess he thought that was a good idea Police Officer waiting for him near Montecito Street, Dummy.
• First Block of Bundy Circle 594 Vandalism to a vehicle.
• No Shirt, Unknown Pants 415 Raising Hell 60 Year old Man in the 1300 Block of Santa Barbara street.
• 415 Subject threw down his dog and became 415 with a reporting party who confronted him on West Beach near Sterns Wharf heading East walking with another subject carrying a skateboard.
• Theft of Medication  First Block of Patterson Road North County.
• Med call fall victim 1500 Block of Santa Barbara street.
• Drunk fall victim at Ralphs near the fountain 100 Block of West Cabrillo.
• Overdose in a  vehicle a tan Mazda at Coronel and Loma Alta.
• Bicyclist down 1400 Block of Bath street.
• License plate stolen from a vehicle 7000 Block of Hollister.
• 594 Vandalism egg throwers 6600 Block of Picasso in IV.
• 415 Fight in the parking lot of Taco Bell on Cliff drive.

Scanner Reports, Sunday: 

• 415 Domestic 400 Block of West Padre.- “Yeller” in the 7600 Block of Hollister woman possibly having an NBD.
• 261 Rape victim requesting police in Goleta.
• Man down on the ground possibly suicidal distraught since his wife passed away 1200 Block of East Guiterrez I can relate.
• Kid playing on the phone calling 911 1000 Block of Olivera.
• Check around the cliffs at Del Playa for a possible suicidal female who wants to jump from the cliffs or a bridge somewhere.
• Bicyclist down 300 Block of East Cabrillo having seizures.
• Possible subject Under the Influence at Helena at Cabrillo.
• Harbor Patrol is at Sea Landing.
• Suspicious circumstances 3 males hoped a wall possibly into a vacant business near City lot 10, 600 Block of Anacapa.
• 2200 Block of Fallen Leaf Audible Alarm.
• 488 Grand Theft of a bicycle From the Sierra Madre Apartments 2 HMAs last seen South toward IV.
• 300 Block of West Cabrillo at the Best Western a Vandalism suspect in a room causing a 415 Disturbance I gather that when the tourists want to party some of them can really raise HELL.
• Bicyclist vs pedestrian 15 East Cabrillo.
• 415 One sister threatening anutter sister with death over money First Block of East Constance Families and money What Fun!
• Suicide attempt with a knife 600 Block of San Pascual.
• Medical emergency at County Jail C3ECHO.
• Medical call at Ortega Park.
• UI Female walking in traffic Edison at Baseline.

A friend of mine hired a guy to cook at her business he never showed up for work instead he showed up and took items from the store telling another employee the owner was going to take the money for the things out of his check. He never showed up for work the next day  my friend fired him he says to her that she needed to pay him for the day he was hired to work and if she does not pay him he is going to the Labor board. What a Dirt Bag I wish I was his boss I got a Wood Chipper I want him to fix. Anyway Have a great MONday-MONday….Peter, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Thomicina, Clancy, Tiger, Tom Cat, Midnight, Merlin, Fish Head One, Poncho, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J. Brad, Billy, Carl, Kent, Stan, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Rambo, Sherry, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Marty, Cop John, Bengy, Ricky, David Cox, Poe, Pat, Mavis, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Isabelle, Jerry, LUCY! John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Tom Petty and Chris willing we will see you on WEDnesday.  Later,  Roger