Scanner Reports 5-12-18

By Roger the Scanner Guy

I was looking at a post on Facebook the other day posted by thy great Palm. It was involving a Code 40 female in Mission up a creek in the bottom of the creek, drunker than any skunk I ever saw looking as if she was having the time of her life. Folks posted their opinions including the female herself after she was SOBER which she should have been in the first place if she did not want to see the item in question. Most of the opinions criticized thy great Palm for posting the item insulating that the female wasn’t a BAD person. In the Age of Ignorance, I wonder who the BAD people are in the GOOD people’s minds? Who are the GOOD people anyway? Who is anyone?, Anymore? In my opinion, most of us lost our identities during the last presidential election when we started judging each other on our choice of candidates not just judging but threatening physical violence but replacing it with character Assassination. No one wants to go to jail that is where the BAD people are according to some. I think most of the bad people don’t get caught having been considered to be BAD a good deal of my life and the OFFICIAL BLACK SHEEP of the family I was blessed with those who Scapegoat others they are like those who blame others for the smelly Fart thy cut. You can tell who the real bad people are by the invisible odor that comes out of their mouths every time they speak in fact one can see right through it. Johns reason for posting the item in question was to point out that there are wonderful recovery programs in Santa Barbara County who can help the female if she wants that help, she might find herself in a worse place if she decides to get drunk again. Being an Alcoholic I have “Come to” in some scary places myself even Mission Creek once having fallen backwards about 12 feet or so in Oak Park it’s a damn good thing I was Drunk or I might not have lived through that fall. I don’t think the female who got drunk and was found in the creek is a bad person but I believe John was in the right to post the position she put herself in by getting drunk. If you don’t want to make the NEWS, don’t it’s as Simple as that…. That’s my Milpas UNDERPANTS and I’m sticking to them.

Scanner Reports, Wednesday:

Suicidal Subject in front of La Bamba market 235 West Micheltorena HMA in his 40’s.
Morning drinking club Cacique at Milpas.
Vehicle accident Collage at Main.
415 Dolphin Fountain.
Female trespasser passed out at 29 South Milpas.
Male prostitute in front of the Adult bookstore 405 State street wearing a blue tank top and short, shorts.
Medical issue 500 Block of Bath street.
Structure fire 1000 Block of Cliff drive.
Fire reported out on a roof in the 300 Block of West Victoria.
242 Assault Carmen at Depot.
Suicidal female on the NorthSide of town SBPD requesting CARES.
415 Subject stealing from the reporting party in the 500 Block of Wentworth.
Overdose 3200 Block of Calle Pinon.
Check the welfare of a man down city lot 10.
2 males fighting in the street 600 Block of Santa Barbara street.
Elevator rescue at the Marc 3885 State street.
Reckless tan Silverado highway 101 Northbound at Las Positas.
415 Subject disturbing in the parking lot at 3761 State street.
415 Subject in the parking lot of Taco Bell 821 North Milpas.
Premise check Bohnett Park.
Fall victim head injury 1900 Block of Chino.

Scanner Reports, Thursday:

Premises check 800 Block of Cacique.
Check the Welfare of a resident in the 900 Block of Olive who is code 40, Drunk and hasn’t been seen in a while code 2 Medics also responded.
Medical call at the Santa Barbara Airport for a fall victim.
Fall victim possible back injury at Rabo Bank 914 Carpinteria street.
459 Burglary on 11th street.
Subject refusing to leave in the 1700 Block of Cravens Lane possible restraining order violation.
Possible water rescue Tajisuas Vista Point.
SBPD on scene with a subject Milpas and DLG.
Check the welfare 500 Block of Miramonte.
Injury traffic accident in the 5700 Block of Calle Real.
Medical call 200 Block of North McClellan.
Check the welfare of an elderly female Los Positas and Modoc.
415 Homeless subject pacing and yelling profanities in the first block of Anacapa.
Camper at Silly Hall.
Traffic Stop Hollister at the 217.
Med call Milpas at DLG, SBPD on scene.
Check the welfare of a possibly suicidal subject on Orcutt Road in Orcutt.
242 Assault BMA mid 20’s beating up a female in the 4800 Block of San Simeon.
Juvenile problem outside the police station SBSO 12 Year old juvenile has history of being aggressive and committing 242 Assault.

Will the other night around 1:56am I heard a big boom which shook the shit out of my little Cottage. I thought someone crashed into my bathroom it woke me up. I stayed in bed though I was real tired after walking a few miles earlier in the day. Every once in a while I heard moaning periodically for the rest of the night it seemed after a couple hours I began to realize that some Dumb Azzed Drunkin prowler must have tripped over my porch and was spread eagle face down outside my cottage and I laughed, because I had done that so many times drunk and sober through the years tripped over that damn porch. I don’t know what their intentions were but I think they are cured of them now.. Whoever it was they either don’t remember or don’t know where they got hurt. When you’re a Drunk it could be a million different places…The last time I had a real prowler the guy was also really drunk and after he fell out of the bathroom window onto the ground told responding police that he was trying to get a look at me in the shower HOLY BALONEY the guy must have been drunk I have a rough time looking at myself in the shower SOBER! Anyway that was Weird It’s getting warmer outside there are usually alot of these incidents in the warmer months might want to secure your residences to prevent these things from happening. Last thing you want to see while you’re in the shower is someone with their head in a garbage bag coming through your bathroom window there are a few weirdos in the hood. The guy that fell must have been big to shake the ground back here like that he was gone in the morning Boy one time I tripped over that porch got a concussion, a broken wrist, and a compound fracture but like the fall I took at TJ’s no one gives a shit and when your old it’s pre existing conditions their aien’t no help for us old folks no more, like Prowlers and their pre existing conditions you can either laugh or moan I hope I don’t fall down for along time because it really hurts and I’m tired of moaning. Have a wonderful weekend Peter, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Hear, Clancy, Thomicina, Tiger, Midnight, Merlin, Fish Head One, Poncho, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Brad, Billy, Jonathan, C.J. Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Diana, Jim, Christy, Patrick, Sherry, Rambo, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie,Pat, Mavis, Marty, Cop John, David Cox, Poe, Bengy, Ricky, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Isabelle, Jerry, LUCY! John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Tom Petty and Chris willing we will pee you on MONday. Later, Roger