Scanner Reports 12-17-18

By Roger the Scanner Guy

We’re coming down to the homestretch toward the Holiday, or Christmas if you prefer. It seems like THIS YEAR more than others the thieves are out in force through the Holidays, should not be any different but they are because there is more stuff floating around. Some people even buy their wives $200,000 cars and diamonds, furs, and all that bull shit. Not going to get much outta my house: box of Triscuits, a VCR. But Hey What the Hell it’s practice right?

Thinking about that time the drunk guy was trying to climb in my bathroom window when I was taking a shower, that was kinda confusing. I’m still wondering what he was hoping to see? SaTURDay Morning I heard a whole complex had packages ripped off 400 Block of Chapala. What were all those packages doing there overnight is my question? That is like asking for it. Maybe it was a donation. I cannot remember the name of it something like “Bang Box” but some guy invented this package that uses .12 Gauge blanks to scared the Poopy out of package thieves it’s pretty entertaining watching them on video as they pick up the packages when they go bang! One guy took the package a few feet away as if he thought there was still something in the box worth taking. When my packages come I’m at home and I track them any way. I pretty much know when they are coming, I usually watch out for the neighbors packages too unless we are not getting along then they are ON THEIR OWN, THEY KNOW WHOM THEY ARE  LOL.

Well there is quite a Nasty Bug going around out there. I have it and I have had enough of it. Nasty Crap, I cannot tell you how many “Ill people” calls to 911 I have heard involving it. I heard one the other day and I was having the same thing at the same time. “Knees hurt feeling ill.” and Boy! did they horrible pain. Wondering how I got it, maybe the heater but probably interacting with another person like at the store or elsewhere. I was going to send out CHRISTMAS CARDS but I don’t want to make anyone ill so I’m not going to be doing that now maybe later. For those I did send out don’t worry I wasn’t sick then.

For those who enjoy spewing hate in the Scanner Report comments Could you please identify yourself when you call someone “Snowflakes” and some of the other terms you use to describe people who are compassionate and care about others, lettuce know where you work so we can choose whether or not we’d like to support your way of life. Haters should be proud of whom they are if they are going to spew that garbage. Lettuce know whom you really are spread your wings take off those hoodies let the Sun Shine In! Here is your Blessed Scanner Roni Reports or if you prefer UNblessed.

Scanner Reports, Friday:

  • Homeless female refusing to leave, the woman’s down of the Rescue Mission 535 East Yanonali.
  • Premises check Oak Park.
  • Suspicious male going Door to Door asking if he can go into peoples homes and asking to use their phones WMA 20’s 1900 Block of Cleveland Ave.
  • A group of Homeless folks arguing over charging their cell phones in the 500 Block of State street in my day we had pay phones.
  • 20002 Non injury hit and run Alisos at Cota driver left vehicle behind a 2014 BMW grey registered to the 200 Block of S. Salinas.
  • Suspicious package left in front of the Public Defenders office 1100 Block of Anacapa.
  • Commuter parking lot Cota at Santa Barbara streets, City parking lot 11 500 Block of Anacapa, and 12, First West Guiterrez Vandalism.
  • 400 Block of West Carrillo possible wanted subject.
  • 415 Unknown type on Cedar Lane.
  • 415 Group at a bus stop in the 4000 Block of State street.
  • Figureoa at De La Vina vehicle vs scooter injury accident.
  • SBPD on a subject 200 South Milpas pain in the ass smashed a table a neighbor put out for free and I had to clean it up Jerk Face.  At least the police took him away.
  • Med Call on Bodega Lane.
  • SBPD on a subject rear of the World Market 610 State street
  • Med Call fall victim Head injury CVS pharmacy 2900 Block of State street.
  • 242 Assault at Ralphs 100 Block of West Carrillo.
  • 415 Employee throwing tools at Paseo Nuevo in the 600 Block of State street.
  • Code 40 Transient Drunk and refusing to leave the 200 Block of South Milpas not the table smasher.
  • Drunk Driver gold Volvo pulled over on West Pedregosa reporting party followed vehicle around town for police reporting their every move…Thanks for getting a Drunk Driver off the Street Whomever you are.
  • Burning pecans in a microwave set off a smoke alarm in the 400 Block of East De La Guerra engine 3 responded reported lite smoke but no fire just burnt pecans.
  • SBPD officers transported a dog from the station to a vet they originally called Animal Control but canceled and transported the dog to a vet I hope the dog is OK.


Scanner Reports, Saturday

  • 242 Assault 200 Block of West Los Olivos.
  • 5200 Block of Overpass call in SBSO call when on scene it’s a secret but could be homeless related as there are calls in that block concerning the homeless.
  • A small but not small enough silver sedan parked in front of a fire hydrant on Armitos in Goleta.
  • Packages stolen from Condo complex 400 Block of Chapala possible auto burglary too.
  • 10851 Goleta somewheres a 1999 Grey Toyota Camry with a surfboard on top and key in the ignition stolen heard it BOLOed twice could not tell if it was stolen from Ventura or Goleta
  • Subject drinking alcohol behind the Faulding Hotel.
  • 415 Domestic 800 Block of North Salsipuedes.
  • Possible theft attempt in a carport 4800 Block of Sawyer 3 Suspicious HMj’s ran when spotted in a car port.
  • 415 Domestic in the Gym 3525 State street.
  • Premises check McKenzie Park.
  • Check the welfare of a man down Coast Village Road at Butterfly Lane.
  • Foot injury 925 State street Truck one and Medics responded.
  • Threats investigation 100 Block of Anacapa.
  • Possible Sexual Battery reporting party seen a male grab a females backside at the bus stop Hitchcock at State street.
  • Public Assist an Elderly female with leg pain in the 200 Block of West Micheltorena.
  • 400 Block of East Cota ex boy Fiend on scene with his daddy trying to take a bicycle back has an Unserved restraining order against him. Now would be a good time to give it to him.
  • Trespasser at the .99 Cent store
  • Lewd Conduct 1800 Block of Robbins male subject performing lewd acts while staring at the reporting party and her roommate.
  • 415 Disagreement over a parking issue 300 Block of South Voluntario.


Scanner Reports, Sunday:

  • 1200 Block of Gillespie 415 Domestic adults yelling with 2 children in the house.
  • Camper at West Marine 26 Calle Caesar Chavez on the property which is private.
  • 242 Assault over a dog at the Harbor 132 Harbor Way victim was slapped suspect in black shorts, black tee shirt with a little brown dog ran away. I suppose the suspect will just be running around his house now for exercise even there the victim changed his mind about pressing charges.
  • Reckless and with Road Rage Tour Bus State street at Cabrillo Eagle registered out of Van Nuys 23103 Reckless.
  • SBPD on a group at Cota street and Santa Barbara street.
  • Med Call Skaters Point broken bone did not hear which one.
  • Vehicle code Violation 800 Block of West Pedregosa.
  • Young Whipper Snappers on Skateboards bothering Old Folks at Starbucks probably in their 20’s on Cliff Drive SBPD found the Young Whipper Snappers at Taco Bell.
  • Over at DLG and Chapala a male in his 40’s WMA was swinging a hammer and challenging people to fight another wussy with a weapon.
  • Transient camp issue behind the Animal Shelter 5399 Overpass. “Yea none of that shit happens in Goleta they don’t put up with it over there not like Santa Barbara…lol”
  • Public Accident 132 Harbor Way.
  • Twisted Ankle Inspiration Point Trail.
  • 20002 Non-injury hit and run 443 Corona Del Mar.
  • Subject refusing to leave Ralphs 100 Block of West Carrillo.
  • Vehicle accident non injury 101 Southbound at Palmer Road.
  • Med Call Unknown Type 5900 Block of Hollister.
  • Premise check East Side Park 200 North Soledad.
  • 594 Vandalism East Side Park 200 North Soledad.


Will the Bears Beat the Packers today and took the North Heeheeheeheeheeheeteeteeteeheeheehee I don’t know why but that makes me laugh. Anyway Have a Great MONday-MONday…Peter, Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Tom Cat, Thomicina, Tiger, Clancy, Shadow, FREDDIE! Midnight, Merlin, Lola, PoPo, Fish Head One, and Two, Poncho, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Rambo, Sherry, DavidCox, Po, Marty, Cop John, Eddie, Bambi, Bengi, Ricky, Pat, Mavis, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Jerry, Isabelle, LUCY! STOBE THE HOBO, Debbie, Ken, Lafayette, Ted, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Tom Petty, and Chris willing we will see you on WEDnesday.  Later,  Roger



Written by Roger

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