Scanner Reports 1-3-20

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Back in the early 1980’s, a couple years after I sobered up, I got lonely and realized I needed to ruin my sobriety by getting involved in a romantic relationship. I got a PO Box and placed a personal ad in the News and Review aka The future Independent. I described myself as big, tall and looking like Clark Kent. I was looking for a female who was also big because I thought a thin woman would not want to be with a guy who had meat on his bones at the time I weighed 225 pounds I am 6’6 or thereabouts. I was at the time since then I have injured my back and grown wider. I found someone and we were together a couple years, she drove me crazy and I got drunk we broke up Thank the Good Dog. It has been my M.O. Since the beginning of time to get romantically involved then after a couple years get drunk. I did not do that with Belinda she must have been the right one. Either way my Girlfriend at the time I will call Ruth because that is her name WANTED ME OUT OF HER APARTMENT REALLY BAD. So she found an apartment for me on Chiquita Road it was a nice little studio for 450 a month and came with a built-in swimming pool I almost killed myself in more about that later. Anyway I was shocked that I got the place because my credit sucked then and it sucks worse now though I have always paid my rent when I said I would. I figured Ruth used her credit to get me the place anyway they rented to me and I was happy though kinda sad we were breaking up…I moved in without meeting the Doctor who lived upstairs from me thinking that was a little weird but met a realtor who approved me. I was told a couple days after I moved in to go upstairs and introduce myself to the woman. One day in between shifts at work I did. She invited me to her home. I walked in we were in the kitchen, she was from Germany 89 years old and had been a Radiologist since the 1940s, before that a nurse, she had come from German Royalty (whatever that meant I had no idea) other than Money. She asked about my life I told her a little about myself and that I worked as a Security Guard at Applied Magnetics in Goleta she commented on my size then suddenly told me that she had Breast Cancer in 1946 and began to take off her clothing, she was innocently showing me the surgery that saved her life but like many young men with a short attention span I was thinking about something else and all I noticed was this half-naked 89 year old woman in front of me. Everything made sense then I had heard about this before Wealthy Older Folks with Younger Lovers Will that WAS NOT going to happen to me! OH HELL NO! I was not going to be anyone’s giglolo!    OH HELL NO! If she reached for me I was going to run the HELL outta there I’d sleep in my car the HELL with that crap! Of course, it was innocent it took a while to figure that out but when I did figure it out I felt a lot better. The truth was that a newspaper article had been written in the News-Press about the Doctor it was mentioned that she came from royalty in the article a woman read the article conned the doctor who let the woman into her home and the woman took over her life tying her up locking her in the closet among other things. I was there to prevent that sort of thing from happening again, which I did. Not long after I warned the person who abused her not to come back I was evicted, I was no longer needed I  found another place to live…HERE IS YOUR SCANNER REPORTS.

Scanner Reports, Wednesday:

  • 20002 Abandoned vehicle found damage to SB City property 4010 Calle Real the vehicle itself had major damage to the under carriage.
  • 415pc Transient 1400 Block of Garden street.
  • Medical Call State street near Ortega.
  • Unresponsive male in a wheelchair Chapala at Canon Perdido he was OK.
  • 300 Block of West Micheltorena involving a shooting.
  • 5300 Block of Highland Drive Structure Fire response North County
  • Injury traffic Accident DLV at Islay.
  • Suicidal Subject at Villa Santa Barbara 227 East Anapamu.
  • 415 Domestic 100 Block of West Ortega
  • Fire Alarms ringing no fire 700 Block of East Montecito.
  • Medical Aide 200 Block of West Micheltorena.
  • Injured subject on Sand near the Breakwater possible broken leg 100 Block of Harbor Way.
  • 415pc At the West Beach Inn male yelling 306 West Cabrillo.
  • 911 Hang Up 300 Block of North Voluntario.
  • 415pc Transient in a wheelchair smoking and holding a can of beer 800 Block of State street
  • CHP or SBSO trying to stop a vehicle North on highway 101 with a subject inside having a medical emergency.
  • Medical call First Block of South Soledad.
  • Premises check Alameda Park.
  • Anapamu at Anacapa Medical Call.
  • Medical Call at Gelsons 3305 State street.
  • Abandoned Homeless Camp they were not there 3500 Block of Modoc Road.
  • Medical call Rite Aide 35 South Milpas patient left before Fire department and Medics arrived.
  • Southbound on Nopal from Anapamu 7 Juveniles on little bicycles reckless.
  • 415pc Subject Villa Santa Barbara 227 East Anapamu.
  • Traffic Accident with injuries Cliff Drive at Marina Drive.
  • Transient urinating in front of reporting parties restaurant in the 1200 Block of State street.
  • Burglary to a residence in the 800 Block of North Salsipuedes


Scanner Reports, Thursday

  • Medical Call 1900  Block of Castillo street
  • Premises check Ortega Park
  • Premises check Vera Cruz Park
  • Injury accident 3505 State street Gelsons.
  • 242pc Between Neighbors 500 Block of East Ortega.
  • Code 2 Medic’s on a code 40 Drunk male never heard location
  • 415pc Fight 2 Males 535 East Yanonali street
  • Injury traffic accident 1500 Block of DLV street
  • 415pc Female in a Wheel Chair Disturbing 500 Block of Anacapa
  • Assist a Unit at Cottage Hospital 320 West Pueblo
  • Vehicle into a tree Creekside at Sheffield Drive
  • Female transient disturbing 29 South Milpas street
  • Smoke investigation outside 500 Block of APS it was a transformer
  • Non injury accident in the 1200 Block of Cacique street
  • 459 Audible alarm 2900 Block of DLV
  • Medical Call Anapamu at State street
  • 415 Fight behind the Alano Club 235 East Cota
  • 600 Block of North Milpas juvenile problem Little Brats on Little Bicycles yelling profanities South on Milpas West on Cota in 20 Years they will all be drunks in Ortega Park.
  • Female Northbound on Elizabeth then South on Soledad swinging a golf club they got her at Gutierrez and took her to County Jail hopefully she will get Dinner tonight Filet of Soy Mignon.
  • Medical Emergency Rescue Mission 535 East Yanonali.


I was a little vague on my story about the Good Doctor on Chiquita a lot of interesting things happened while I lived there  I’ll write more about it here and there I did not want to load it up all in one report the more I write about it the more I remember…Will have a Wonderful First Weekend of 2020 (Got It GOLETA ANNE) ….Peter, Molly, Belinda, Midnight, Merlin, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Tom Cat, Clancy, Tomicina, Tiger, Shadow, FREDDIE!, Maxwell, Lola, PoPo, Tiny, Andy, Fish Heads One, and Two, Poncho, Denny, Zeke, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Johathan, C.J.Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Ross, Rambo, Sherry,Eddie, Bambi, Lafayette, Ted, Mark, Willie, Mrs. MacArthur, Auntie Helen,Pat, Mavis,Bengie, Ricky, Marty, Cop John, Po, David Cox, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Crazy Ed, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry,LUCY!,STOBETHEHOBO,KFC, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, John Havlick,, Little Mac, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Tom Petty, and Chris Willing we will see you the 2nd week of 2020….Only 362 More Shoplifting Days till Christmas, Later,  Roger


Written by Roger

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