SBPDPIO
Update by the Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Office
October 5, 2023
The Coroner’s Bureau is releasing the ID of the decedent who fell from a cliff near Arroyo Burro beach in Santa Barbara on Tuesday, October 3, 2023.
Decedent is 57-year-old Micki Tara Hegewald of Santa Barbara.
Cause and manner of death are pending.
By the Santa Barbara Police Department
October 4, 2023
On October 3, 2023, at 6:52 p.m., Santa Barbara Police Officers, Santa Barbara Fire Department, and Santa Barbara Harbor Patrol responded to the area of Hendry’s Beach for an initial report of an adult woman falling from the Douglas Family Preserve cliff above the beach.
Upon arrival, medical professionals pronounced the woman deceased on the beach.
At this time, there is no suspicious activity believed, and the case is currently under investigation.
The name of the decedent is being withheld pending next of kin notification.
Thank you all for CARING to share your Feelings & Energy… & the edHat staff for covering this event.
I am Michael Hegewald, Micki’s older brother. My Sister Killed herself INTENTIONALLY, after several attempts. Suicide is not Shameful or Evil… it is what happens after many hours, days, & months going thru Dark Nights of the Soul.
Suicide happens when we have been deeply wounded & traumatized… especially in childhood. When those hurt parts of our mind, remain UNHEALED… when NOTHING seems to STOP the pain– when there seems to be NO HOPE.
Micki had Mental Health issues for many many years. So many agencies & people here in our village– Loved her, Uplifted her & Soothed her heart… enabling her to thrive for this long. My deepest appreciation goes out to all of you. Our Mental Health Community served her WONDERFULLY over the last 15 years that she lived here in Santa Barbara. She WAS on her medications; she HAS a loving family here , very very close to her–every day & night ! She was a Christian & her churches were close to her. She studied & practiced Non-Violent Communication empathy, Byron Kattie’s THE WORK… did many classes at SBCC adult ed… many classes that we took together. She was a Poet, a Painter, a Singer, a Songwriter, a Minister, a Counselor… & my very best friend since she was born, when I was 6 years old.
Micki was a Giver… it was sooooooo easy for her to Love Others… but many times difficult for her to Love Herself.
Its like there were 2 Mickis. One was the AWESOME UPLIFTER (80% of the time) & the other was Lost In Despair and Super Low Self Esteem (mostly during the nights, alone). She finally told me, after her 2nd suicide attempt 10 moths ago, “I don’t want to be alone (especially at night), & I want more Intimacy (Physical & Emotional)”. I did my VERY BEST to be with her: virtually by Facetime many times a day… & to see her almost every day… but ultimately it was all… not enough.
Micki wanted me to share this to help anyone THINKING of suicide, and for those dealing with someone who IS suicidal. She was sooooo GRATEFUL to all of you who helped her… AND I can truly witness that she “helped” so so many MORE people… especially Me.
I will spend the rest of my life grieving… trying to “understand” this Dark-Night-Of-The-Soul… & to SUPPORT others in this STRUGGLE.
She will be Part-Of-Me for the rest of My life. We believe in The-After-Life & I know I will “see” her there.
Please SHARE this… know the TRUTH… We call ALL Make-a-Difference… We CAN all be HEALED !!!
BUT… If the Healing DOESN’T happen, the Suicide Protector may be called. I pray with all my Body-Mind-Heart and Soul, that it NEVER calls for Me.
How tragic. Deepest condolences for the family and friends.
Truly awful. This isn’t a spot known for partying like Isla Vista. I really hope she wasn’t chasing a dog when this happened.
While I’ve attended a couple small “parties” there in my youth, I’ve also heard of many people falling off the cliff here over the years that were sober and even during the day. Would a short fence work here? Dogs fall off at Wilcox frequently as well. Maybe some smallish barrier would stop them from skirting the edge? I’d hate to fence in all our cliffs though. Sad either way.
No fences, this is a nature preserve.
Yeah, granted, but at some point, someone is going to demand one. It’s tough to just say, sorry, we’re not putting up any man made fall prevention devices after a tragedy like this, but in all reality, we can’t just fence in all our cliffs. Again, tough situation and sadly, it won’t be the last.
Anon, why would fences obstruct it still being a nature preserve? Given the number of families with pets and children that frequent Wilcox it would be a sensible and considerate measure. It’s not like there are any animals that frequently traverse from the cliffs to the beach right?
sounds like she stepped off the cliff on purpose
Shmonk – what exact words in the article lead you to that very insensitive “conclusion?”
Michael, I’m so sorry for your loss.
You sound like a beautiful soul.
The suicide protector… I had a family member who taught me about such a thing. They didn’t/havenn’t called for it yet.
Blessed be.
Micki is a beautiful soul too!
Michael, I’m so, very sorry for your pain and loss.
Incredibly sorry to hear this. Thank you de-stigmatizing suicide. You are right, there is nothing shameful or selfish about it. Rest in peace Micki.
I too had that feeling. And now the loved one has commented to confirm this. She is no longer suffering.
Michael, I’m very sorry to hear about what she went through but do appreciate you sharing. Depression is an ugly beast that people don’t understand unless they have experienced it firsthand. We do not all win the battle and it sounds like her battle with it was long and complex. You are a wonderful brother and I hope that you can find solace in knowing that you were there for her. Wishing you peace in your heart as you grieve for your loss.
noozhawk article quoted a witness
Thanksgiving Miracles & Blessings… (by Micki’s brother Michael Hegewald)
Yesterday around sunset I am sitting at the dining room table, soldering an electronics project, when I see motion in my peripheral vision. I look over & there are two people coming in the front gate… a young couple I have see many times, who recently moved on to the block, six houses down, but I have never met them.
She is holding a small box with a bow tied around it; he has a wrapped bunch of flowers. I thought for sure that they had heard of Micki’s death, probably from a neighbor, & were just coming by to give their condolences. I opened the front door, turned off my headlight, & meet them at the gate. They asked if I was Michael, I said yes & invited them inside the house.
They sat down in the living room & introduced themselves, Jenny & Tom. I put the flowers in water & shared the box of chocolates they brought. They said they both were hospital nurses. Jenny said she had more info on Micki’s death. I thought for sure I knew who she was… I asked her if she was the one Micki last looked at, before she calmly walked off the cliff. I thought for sure she was the woman who gave the eye-witness account at the top of the cliff, to the police detective we spoke with, the day after Micki died… but NO that was not her. Then Jenny & Tom looked slightly confused at each other & said “No, we were not at the top… we were at the bottom.” !!!
Tom said they were walking their golden retriever at sunset along the beach, when they heard rocks falling from the cliff above, about 20 feet away from them. Then they saw Micki falling down & hit the ground !!! They immediately went to Micki & checked her pulse & tried to help. She was not moving or breathing. They felt no pulse & called 911. Just behind them was a man walking his dog. It turns out, he was an off-duty paramedic, who then started CPR on Micki. Then Fire Department paramedics arrived quickly, & tried for 30 minutes, but could not revive her… sadly but gladly, thank God they could not revive her, because she probably would have physically suffered greatly for the rest of her life… Tom & Jenny told me, they felt she died quickly.
So many miracles, after miracles…
They found out I was related to Micki, from Steve, who is another neighbor, who lives across from Jenny & Tom (they read the article I wrote & 1st gave Steve 2 days after Micki died. I asked him to please share this with others…) Thank God he shared it with them.
They both told me how they were almost in shock for many days, disturbed by the event & they really wanted some closure. Reading “My Response to Micki’s Suicide” in the newspaper, made them feel so much better for Micki, for Me & our family… but they still needed to meet & talk with me… They were very hesitant to come see Me, to find the “right time” to tell me their story, because they didn’t want to disturb me. Thank God they did.
So many miracles, after miracles…
So many “angels” living all around us. “It takes a Village”… & our village of Santa Barbara is AWESOME. No one or place is perfect… but “we” served Micki in Life… lifting Her up & keeping Her close… & “we” served Her in Death… … lifting Her up & keeping Her close…
& she did the same to “us”.