Thanksgiving Guilt

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Dear Edda,

Due to the increase of COVID-19 cases, I've told my family who live in another county, that I will not be joining them for Thanksgiving. Not only do they not follow protocol but they insist on hugging and kissing everyone on the cheek. Even my 95-year-old grandfather! They're upset and trying to guilt me into going, how do I stand firm?

Solo Turkey Day

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Dear Turkey Day,

I’ve been hearing a lot of this. I get it. People are sick of social distancing and self-isolating. They want to get together with friends and family, especially around the holidays. Even though, in other years, those same people might be grumbling about getting together with said friends and relatives.

Who knows? Maybe this crisis has helped us to re-set our priorities. In any case, some people have decided that it’s not really dangerous to get together, maybe it’s just a hoax, or it’s okay as long as you know the people, or they are related. We’ve all heard the rhetoric.

But the question you need to ask yourself before you get guilted into anything is, how will any of you feel if your 95-year old grandfather becomes ill? I might not worry so much about myself, but I certainly don’t want to be Typhoid Mary (or Edda).

And this way, you get all of the leftovers to yourself!


Edda is not a medical professional but a local lady who loves to give out advice, even when it's not asked of her. Submit your question to for Edda to answer.

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doulie Nov 22, 2020 06:12 PM
Thanksgiving Guilt

If my 95-year-old Grandfather was aware of what is going on relative to COVID, I'd suggest letting him make the decision whether or not to have the family gather? He's more susceptible to COVID due to age. I'll guess there are some family members that have been unable to attend a holiday function in the past for one reason or another so why is this a problem? But, sounds like the question about gathering has been answered for him. If the man contracts the disease there will be plenty of guilt to go around. If (I) was a firm believer in COVID I wouldn't go as I would also be worried about myself. My answer to the family is simple: I'm not going as I'm concerned about being positive and passing the disease onto my family, especially my more susceptible Grandfather. Forget the guilt, stay home and enjoy all the turkey. You might even decide to have a couple burritos with Rosarita refrieds, less mess:)

a-1606153340 Nov 23, 2020 09:42 AM
Thanksgiving Guilt

This term "COVID believer" is ridiculous. Are you also a "gravity non-believer"?

doulie Nov 23, 2020 10:24 AM
Thanksgiving Guilt

53340 - The term "COVID believer" may be ridiculous to you but some people believe, among many other things, COVID is a myth. Now, your question asking if I'm a "gravity non-believer" (is) ridiculous. Your term is simply a misnomer for weightlessness; and I doubt you'll find anyone that disagrees there is weightlessness in certain circumstances.

a-1606163685 Nov 23, 2020 12:34 PM
Thanksgiving Guilt

You should probably learn the difference between mass and weight, and how gravity works. The analogy used, in your case, was quite apt, as gravity and the virus exist whether you believe in them or not.

a-1606098022 Nov 22, 2020 06:20 PM
Thanksgiving Guilt

The idea that "family" can control our behavior by guilt is an illness vector. We need to step back from this propaganda and make rational choices. We can be loving and supportive without being stupid.

Basicinfo805 Nov 22, 2020 06:34 PM
Thanksgiving Guilt

Too bad your family isn't on top of it, but hey - survival of the fittest right?

SBSBSBSBSBsb Nov 22, 2020 07:57 PM
Thanksgiving Guilt

Maybe people would rather take the risk than be alone? Seems perfectly reasonable to make the decision

a-1606153253 Nov 23, 2020 09:40 AM
Thanksgiving Guilt

I implore people considering attending a Thanksgiving dinner outside their household to ask themselves this question: What kind of person are you if you think it's okay to threaten other people's lives JUST because you are lonely?

Pansygal Nov 23, 2020 07:00 AM
Thanksgiving Guilt

So far, the comments here make it seem like the consequences from the OP’s final decision will rest solely inside the family. Clearly that’s not the case. Decisions to get together for Thanksgiving with people outside your immediate household can have dire outcomes in the community and beyond. So the answer is NO. Stop acting like this is no big deal or will just be a problem for ol’ granny. Covid19 does not discriminate.

Franfin Nov 23, 2020 07:24 AM
Thanksgiving Guilt

I agree with PANSYGAL! Locally, a new study just came out revealing the biggest source of COVID-19 cases so far this month has been from non-business associated gatherings. Increases in COVID cases have a dramatic effect on our healthcare providers, as well as those who are vulnerable to the infection. It is not only the grandfather who is being put at risk here.

Chip of SB Nov 23, 2020 10:24 AM
Thanksgiving Guilt

The governor just went out for a birthday dinner with a group of 12 people from multiple households. Among those in attendance was the CEO of the california medical association. This dinner party was arguably one of the best informed group of people in the state, and they clearly felt that gathering together for dinner did not present a significant risk to their health and safety. The governor also sends his children to school for in person learning. Again, he clearly does not think that sending his children to school presents a significant risk to his family’s health and safety. We have every right to weigh the risks and follow their example if we choose. Isolation and solitude takes a tremendous toll on mental health and well being. It is not fair to force people into isolation against their will. Everyone should make their own decisions and do what they feel comfortable with.

PitMix Nov 23, 2020 10:32 AM
Thanksgiving Guilt

Chip, I fully support your decision to use the governor as your excuse to live your life as if there is no virus. In the meantime I will avoid you like the plague.

NostraChumash Nov 23, 2020 11:41 AM
Thanksgiving Guilt

People seem to forget what the reason for celebrating this day is all about..
Just ask an injun.

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