Scanner Reports 8-23-17

To truly know crazy, you have to be crazy, or have been there. I have been there, and though my mind isn’t perfect, I’m a heck of a lot more normal than I used to be. Seeing folks out on the street and reading some of what is written all over the internet, I can say, crazy is what crazy does, replacing stupid from the great Forrest Gump. There is a lot of crazy mofo’s in our country, a lot.  Even our so called politicians are nuttier than fruit cakes on Christmas morning. Which is coming up here in a couple months by the way. It’s going to get crazier, too. I don’t think it’s going to get normaler for a bit. I don’t think it’s the end times either, but some crazy folks out there want to make it that, more than the usual amount. The crazy folks I’m talking about are folks that seem to have their shit together and don’t know they are crazy then you read something they wrote on the internet or social media, and you think to yourself, or if you’re like me, say out loud, “I’m damn glad I don’t know that person!” Because a lot of what is said out there is scary.  If the world is going to end I’d rather not know. I’d rather just be sitting here reading a good book, some Bukowski or Kerourac or something. I’d like to be relaxing, medicated, maybe with a nice big fat Little Caesars smothered with tabasco sauce when it happens. Joey Cannoli with his cat nip and a nice big bowl of tuna. Ready to go. No more idiots waving at me when I’m walking down the street calling me Santa Claus. Hell no, I won’t miss that! And hopefully after the whole thing is over, me and Joey will be with Belinda and our other kitty dogs in Paradise. Anywhere would be Paradise with them. As far as the Crazies, they can stay here or go somewhere else.

Sometimes reading all that crap on the internet gets to me. I bet it gets to a lot of folks. Better to just keep doing what you’re doing and ignore what is going on in the country sometimes. The crazies will always be here, they always have been. We’re hearing more about them now with the internet. You can let it get to you or just go on with your life. I know this dumb essay of mine don’t make much sense, but nobody reads my crap anyway.

Here’s your scanner reports, Monday:

• Medical call 1100 block of El Camino. Subject is dizzy but conscious and breathing.
• Medical call for a fall victim, 800 block of Romero Canyon.
• Vehicle fire, Shoreline at Santa Rosa.
• Female threatening people at La Mesa Park.
• Burglary to a vehicle on Allen Road.
• Loud music, 800 block of State Street.
• Keep the Peace in the 3900 block of State Street.
• Three vehicle accident, Highway 101 northbound, Donavan Road off-ramp, injuries.
• 21 East Sola, subject inside of Our Lady of Sorrows church yelling.
• Overdose in the men’s bathroom near the Dolphin fountain, 200 Stearns Wharf.
• Bicyclist vs vehicle, Canon Perdido at State Street.
• Suspicious subject looking in windows of residences, Magna Vista at Fraiser, WMA wearing black shorts, shirt, carrying a skateboard.
• Reckless driver, black Ford pickup, tinted windows, North on Milpas from Mason. Almost hit several pedestrians.
• Theft of a saw from A-OK, 14 North Milpas.
• Wallet stolen from a subject at Paseo Nuevo, unsure if it occurred at a store or in the mall.
• Threats investigation, SBCC 721 Cliff Drive.
• Illegal dumping at More Mesa, all I heard on that.
• North County, child molestation, a 14 year old boy molested an 8 year old girl in Santa Maria.
• Rape investigation, SBSO dispatcher said it occurred in the city. Don’t know which city she meant, somewhere in Santa Barbara County.
• Report of someone shooting a BB gun from a convertible blue Ford Mustang, Foster at Highway 135, WMA 45 years old. Here is one of those Crazies I mentioned earlier!
• A Santa Barbara police officer was running a guy for warrants and I heard the guy in the background yell at the police officer 3 times, “And you are going to Hell for this!”  The guy had 2 warrants. I was waiting for the cop to yell back, “And you are going to Jail for this!”
• Dearborn at Hollister, non-injury hit and run.

Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

• Driver in a Ford F-150 pickup truck got off Highway 101 southbound at Los Carneros, was swerving all over the road.
• SBPD on a group of drinkers behind Saks.
• SBPD officer on foot patrol, 1000 and 1100 blocks of State Street.
• Medical call for a disoriented subject in the 700 block of Bond. When the fire department and medics responded, he was gone.
• Medical call for an unresponsive diabetic, 400 block of Drake Drive.
• Alisal at Mission, non-injury hit and run.
• Check the welfare of a dog that jumped out of a Honda station wagon in the 300 block of East Anapamu.
• BOLO for a crime that happened Monday at 4:30pm near Bonita School. A WMA 30 years old pulled a knife on a group of employees, demanding their car keys. Took someone’s car, crashed it nearby, ran away. Suspect’s first name is Robert, 5’8, 180 pounds, born 4/13/87. They know who they are looking for.
• SBPD on a subject in the 200 block of Palm.
• County Animal Control needed to pick up two abandoned dogs in an apartment at 5824 Hollister Unit B.
• Drunk driver in a white T-Bird, north on Chapala from Mission Street, registered in Marino Valley swerving.
• Subject with a knife, 1125 East Clark, possible robbery in the 76 Lot. Now running on Bradley, shots fired, suspect down. It was a pretty confusing call, I did not hear he robbed a bank till it was over.
• Campers behind 123 West Gutierrez.
• Medical fall victim from a bench, First East Cota.
• Domestic violence, 500 North Milpas, wife hit husband.
• SBPD officer on a drunk, 14 North Milpas.
• Fall victim, head injury, juvenile, 1300 block of Salinas Place.
• Medical call at the library, 40 East Anapamu.
• Report of 3 RV’s near the baseball field at La Cumbre Junior High on Modoc.
• Drunk at PATH, then Medics responded there also.

Will that is all outta me. I’m tired, not enough water. DRINK WATER, don’t be like me. Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Clancy, Poncho, Jerry, Jonathan, C.J., Carl, Stan, ELMO, Kent, Walter, Fred, Diana, Jim, Magruder, Don, Cory, Edwin, Rambo, Sherry,  Marty, Cop John, Isabelle, Jerry, Brad, Billy, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, and Chris willing, we will see you on FRYday. Later, Roger