Scanner Reports 5-27-20

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Some people should not be in a relationship like a couple on SUNday. First there was a report of a male hit by a woman driving a vehicle at Alamar and Bath Streets, it might involve a Code 415: Domestic Disturbance, they said. Before the Fire Department, Medics, and SBPD got there, scanner traffic said the male got into the SUV and was possibly being transported to the hospital. I heard no more about it until the late afternoon when there was a male with a head injury at Micheltorena and State streets who might have been dragged by a vehicle during a 415 Domestic then I thought, could it be? When I heard the female was driving a blue Lincoln Navigator it was confirmed, at least to me, it was the same couple as earlier that morning. The guy is lucky to be alive or maybe he is suicidal, a Lincoln Navigator is a big vehicle King of the SUV’s. Last I heard the guy was in the hospital in the ER. I hope they keep him a while as she might be waiting for him out there on the streets.

I was involved in crazy relationships like that when I was young and stupid. I stood in front of a gal driving a 1974 Ford LTD Wagon complete with a luggage rack on top of the vehicle flipping her off as she barreled toward me. I thought she was gonna hit the brakes and she thought I was going to jump I did at the last second straight up I rolled up the hood, wind shield, through the luggage rack she hit the brake then the gas yanking my shoulder out of socket then I hit the pavement face first. She was such a nice gal except for her driving skills or maybe she knew what she was doing…lol. 1974 Ford LTD Station Wagon complete with a luggage rack was the future King of the SUV’s. We had sort of a traumatic relationship, traumatic injuries that is…I can give this guy good sound advice and tell him knowing this shit he has going on isn’t going to work out and know I’m right. I’m right about something. We were a knockdown drag out couple. I caught my girlfriend in bed with one of my friends so since he wanted her I gave him my portable TV too over his head knocking him out then I dragged him to his vehicle in his undies, started the vehicle pointed it toward the street put him behind the wheel in drive and watched it slowly sail out into the Sunset about 50 feet away into a power pole it went really slow 1970 Chevy Chevelle lite green with mag wheels it was a beautiful car and was barely damaged.

Later on I slept with the guy’s Fiance and offered to sleep with his Mother too she was single at the time and politely turned me down knowing the conflict between me and her son she thought it was hilarious. The end came near when I had finally broken free from her and her brothers and their friends caught me walking home drunk one night and beat me into a bloody mess. I had broken bones, slash woulds and other injuries that should have resulted in death but somehow didn’t probably because I was drunk. She was an insane woman. Some guys say that an insane woman is better in the sack they might be I don’t want to know. I would much rather listen to it on the scanner then find out next time I might not be so lucky next time I might get a butcher knife to the forehead the Unicorn look. Domestic Violence goes many ways, while I can look back and laugh at my experiences because I lived through it, others cannot because they didn’t. Don’t take the chance if you’re in a sick relationship, get away, get help. One call right after the other on Memorial Day, no social distancing with some people they simply do not care. Will I do so do not get too close to me…HAIR IS YOUR SCANNER REPORTS…

Scanner Reports, Monday:

• Med call fall victim 1116 DLV.
• Medical aide 4200 Calle Real.
• Cathedral Oaks Turnpike area overloaded blue Astro Van going 6mph driver appears UI, 23152 Driver.
• 242pc Investigation Santa Barbara Roasting Company 300 Block of Motor Way.
• Transient throwing rocks on Miramar Beach.
• Premises check at the bluffs dead end of Oliver Road
• Med call 100 Block of West Alamar.
• Med call 800 Block of Shoreline
• Traffic Stop 300 Block of Mesa Lane blue Ford Edge.
• EBPD on a subject at Bohnett Park.
• Fire reported out Highway 101 at the Fairview overpass.
• Medical call at Amtrak for a subject who was stung by a Sting Ray at the beach.
• 459pc Audible alarm 100 Block of East Victoria, no crime.
• Traffic accident rollover Lompoc 1100 Block of North D  Street.
• Medical aide at the County Jail 4436 Calle Real.
• Overdose in a vehicle 1600 Block of East Clark.
• Injured Hiker Jesusita trail 7 Falls injured ankle.
• 459 Burglary investigation Cafeteria of Peabody School.
• Suspicious male 200 Block of Las Alturas Road spotted 300 Block of APS he ran to the 400 Block of APS resisted and fought a police officer more came he lost went to jail.
• Suicide attempt slashed wrist San Roque area in a residence.
• Fire Alarms twice no fire East Side Public Library.
• Theft investigation Smart and Final 3900 Block of State street.
• Code 40 200 Block of West Haley transported to Cottage code 2 Medics.
• 23103 2 Reckless black Mustangs coming off the freeway at Castillo racing.
• Head Injury at Red Rock SBSO on scene.
• Vegetation Fire Red Rock Campground.
• Mother Duck and Ducklings in the center divider on the 217 I hate these calls.
• Vehicle theft attempt 300 Block of Cinderella, Santa Maria Suspect fought the cop  Medical response and LE response for back up.
• Old Fart refusing to leave and coughing in pubic 100 Block of North Milpas
• Troubled subject refusing to leave PATH 816 Cacique.
• 12 Subjects in 3 Different vehicles yelling at Employees at Chic Fil A. Sounds more like a math problem to me.
• Selfish skaters in skaters point, proof that skaters are criminals
• Overdose 1600 Block of Vine.
• Male HMA Black pants, jacket told someone he had a gun, no gun seen 231 North Milpas at the ARCO caught down the street.

Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

• Mountain Lion sighting 4:55am From the Bird refuge to the Clark Estate keeping campers out of there.
• South Glen Annie Traffic Accident.
• Suspicious male Dressing and Undressing at the base of Stearns Wharf.
• Report of a transient screaming in the 4000 Block of Via Lucero.
• Report of a male with a shopping cart laying on the tracks 300 South Milpas street Gone when police arrived.
• Vegetation Fire 1900 Block of Sandalwood in Santa Maria.
• Fire Alarms SMHS 4700 Block of Hollister.
• PD on a subject 500 Block of West Carrillo wonder if it’s my pal Tony he lives in that block Hi  Tony!
• 417pc Brandishing a baseball bat 100 Block of West Calle Crespis.
• Medical call 400 Storke Road.
• 20001 Felony hit and run Highway 166 at Simas road. Someone picked up the suspect in another vehicle off they went.
• 900 Block of North Broadway Man Down.
• SBPD out with 4 subjects 300 Block of Bath street.
• Suspicious subject threw a chair at the reporting parties Toyota Hylander in the 3800 Block of State street.
• Transient hanging out in the 200 Block of West Anapamu on going there must be something going on there I never hung out in a residential area when I was houseless unless I was working or someone was taking me in.
• 5150pc On West Main involuntary may be combative.
• Fall Victim Mara Villa 5500 Block of Calle Real.
• Medical call 900 Block of Calle Dos Los Amigos.
• 415pc Customer playing push the security guard at Bank of America 834 State street Hopefully he will be dining out at county for a day or two though I doubt it.

I hate going out nowadays, gotta wear all the gear try to stay germ-free then some putz walks up behind you, they got no mask just being an all-around ass. I’d really like to get a t-shirt that says “Hummus Farts don’t smell like Bacon” then let a few go for those A-Holes, after all it is not against the law to cut the cheese in public. I have been practicing on some people, I get some really dirty looks when I shoot off a few especially my Harley Davidson Sportster farts ya know the ones that sound really deep then end with a couple back fires. The best ones through are the Jet Ski wet Farts I’m going to start practicing in the Milpas UNDERPANTS get a good echo going the louder the butter. Will my Birthday was decent I got a few gifts here and there, got some donuts from a neighbor fed most of them to the birds took a couple bites. Life is very strange now that is about all I gotta say about that. 

Have a Great HUMP DAY….Peter, Molly, Belinda, Midnight, Merlin, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Lola, PoPo, Tom Cat, Tomicina, Tiger, Clancy, Shadow, FREDDIE! Maxwell, Liza, Zoey, Tiny, Andy, FISH HEADS ONE AND TWO, Poncho, Zeke, Denny, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Ross, Rambo, Sherry, Eddie, Bambi, Mrs. MacArthur, Auntie Helen, Lafayette, Ted, Mark, Willie, Pat, Mavis, Ricky, Bengie, Marty, Cop John, David Cox, Po, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Roger, Father Zimmerman, Joseph, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Kona, Crazy Ed, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry, LUCY!, STOBE THE HOBO, KFC, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, John Havlick, Rich Mullins, John Prine, Tom Petty, Lucky, Little Mac, Bill, John, Marianne and Chris Willing we will see you on FRYday….Later,  Roger