Scanner Reports 5-24-17

By Roger the Scanner Guy

I noticed Cal Trans was called out a week or so ago to clear the little corner there at Milpas and the UNDERPANTS, next to Car Stereo Guys. Someone must have gotten tired of the number of medical calls there for campers under the little palm tree. The tree was so shaded it resembled a cottage. Now it looks like it has a bad haircut. I don’t mind the campers so much unless they cause problems. We have a good group in the HOOD lately.

Here are your Scanner Reports, Monday:


  • 600 West Valerio, vehicle getting towed, parking violation.
  • Medical call at the Daily Grind on the patio, possible stroke.
  • Drunk disturbing, Montecito at Milpas Streets.
  • Female screaming for help, 6500 block of Segovia. Did not hear any more about this call.
  • Subject yelling in the 600 block of State Street. We ought to give those yellers megaphones so we could hear them on Milpas.
  • Commercial burglary, 2830 DLV.
  • Graffiti in Ortega Park.
  • Bradley at Union Valley in Santa Maria, rollover traffic accident.
  • Fall victim in the men’s room at MTD, head injury.
  • Battery investigation at GVCH, suspect is a patient.
  • 2100 block of DLV, vehicle vs bicyclist.
  • Campers refusing to leave, Garden at Yanonali.
  • Medical call for a subject down in the 1400 block of School House Road.
  • Subject in his 40’s yelling, Turnpike and Hollister.
  • Bicycle vs motorcycle, El Colegio at Storke in Goleta.
  • Fall victim, medical call, 3301 State Street.
  • Serious medical call at Rite Aid, 35 South Milpas, for a victim who is passed out.
  • Subject down next to a vehicle outside a fitness center in the 3800 block of State Street.
  • Medical call at the Californian, 2225 DLV, chest pains.
  • Suspicious circumstances, first block of East Canon Perdido.
  • Camper in the 1000 block of Cacique, he has been there all week.
  • Medical call, ill female in the 300 block of East Carrillo.
  • Argument involving several subjects, 3000 block of Paseo Del Refugio.
  • 135 Hancock Road, entrance to Allen Hancock Collage, vehicle accident, unknown if injury.


Scanner Reports, Tuesday:


  • Male yelling in the area of the 2800 block of DLV.
  • Shoplifter running from security after stealing a cell phone and other items, K-Mart in the 6800 block of Hollister. I guess that makes the crime robbery.
  • Premises check, 100 block of East Valerio.
  • Vehicle stalled right in the middle of Cold Springs Bridge. They pushed it out of the way.
  • Premises check, 900 block of Chapala, found an open door but no one was home.
  • Burglary to a shed, 3900 block of Via Lucero.
  • Reckless semi southbound from Gaviota with a fire investigator following, requesting SBSO to pull him over.
  • Two vehicles found in an apartment complex with their windows smashed, unknown if crime involved, Storke at Whittier.
  • Ten-foot wide sinkhole, possibly due to a water main break, 3300 block of Via Arnez in Lompoc.
  • Camper, 101 southbound at Milpas.
  • Hit and run, 340 Rutherford.
  • Trespasser, 400 block of Santa Fe Place, possible subject breaking into a housing unit.
  • Disturbance over a non-injury accident, Haley and Chapala.
  • Neighbors disturbing in the 300 block of West Mission.
  • 1400 block of Euclid, premises check by my good friend who don’t eat Little Caesars pizzas anymore because he is on a diet.
  • Assault occurred at Goleta Valley Jr. High. Twelve-year-old victim is at GVCH today.
  • Mary 5 is going to Traffic Court.
  • Medical call on an unresponsive patient in a waiting room in the 2900 block of DLV.
  • Unconscious subject at the casino, 3400 block of Mission Drive.
  • Medical call, unknown type, at the drive up window, 20 East Carrillo, Union Bank.
  • Domestic, 500 block of East Canon Perdido.
  • Camper in front of a business, 1100 block of East Clark in Santa Maria.
  • Brush fire, Highway 101 northbound between Garden and Laguna in a homeless encampment.



Will that is all for now. I’m going to be writing Scanner Reports tomorrow, as I have every day for the last 7 years and 9 months or thereabouts.  I’m also going to be BBq ing a mountain of chicken legs to go with couscous and veggies for my birthday. I’m going to give Joey a can of tuna that looks like a cake, with temptations all over it. He loves those little things. I’m going to remember my friend who used to always say the day before her birthday, “This is the last day I’m going to be 53, then the next day, “This is the first day that I am 54.” She would have been 58 now. Anyway, you folks have a great Hump Day. Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Clancy, Poncho, Jerry, Elmo, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Walter, Fred, Carl, Stan, Isabelle and Jerry, Don and Magruder, Cory, Rambo, Sherry, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks and Chris willing, we will see you on FRYday. Later, Roger


Written by Roger

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