Scanner Reports 4-3-20

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By Roger the Scanner Guy

I'm a loner in my older ages, I like being a loner and I have been this way a long time. When I get paid I pay my rent, utilities, bills, buy food for me, Joey, Fish Head, listen to the scanner, do the reports. For a long time now this is me. I hardly ever go anywhere, maybe to Little Caesars a couple times a month or McDonalds. 20 Plus years ago I went out every night party, party, party, Breakfast, Brunch, or Lunch, Dinner, and Nightcaps in the Bushes but now I no longer do those things. Everything is automatic for me. Now everywhere I turn I'm told to SHELTER IN PLACE, GO HOME, LOCK THE DOORS, STAY THERE!

I have to go to Rite Aide once a week to stand in line to buy 4 rolls of shit paper it's like standing in a soup line, or maybe a Poop line. I'm told to wear a mask and gloves if I have to go out. When I come home I have to shower and wash my clothes never mind I have no washer and dryer of my own the neighbors let me use their's when they are not around, but they are around now. Wash your hands with alcohol soap if you cannot find it in making your own. I haven't caught up with the alcohol soap yet I gave up over half of my TP Supply last month for others that needed it. I wasn't hoarding it was my normal budget the way I do things every month. The other day I walked to Trader Joe's I don't have a vehicle, I cannot drive. I wore a mask  and someone called me Stupid for wearing the mask they said I did not need it I told them, "You walk through the Milpas UNDERPANTS without a mask Einstein!" Nothing personal but almost every time I walk through there someone is gagging with bodily fluids on the sidewalk not everyone in there keeps a social distance from each other. I'm starting to get O.C.D. Again. Someday I'll be found babbling in my little place, "SHELTER IN PLACE" to the heads in my freezer. Don't forget to wash your hands. Here are your scanner reports.

Scanner Reports, Wednesday:

  • Stolen vehicle Sunset Avenue in Santa Maria brown 2004 Honda CRV I did not hear if the keys were left in it.
  • 10851 Stole Auto 2009 Grey Toyota Santa Maria missed the street but it was taken a few minutes after the Honda.
  • 242pc Assault at PATH 816 Cacique.
  • Suspicious Southern California Edison worker reported as a suspicious subject who wanted to go in someones back yard he was wearing a white hard hat in the 200 Block of Remedio Road SBPD confirmed he worked for Southern California Edison.
  • Speeder Highway 101 Southbound near Gaviota Civic with a sunroof doing 110plus
  • Premises check for Dennis Living in the bushes 201 South Milpas
  • Premises check Santa Barbara Junior High/ Ortega Park.
  • Subject trying to pass a 100.00 Dollar Bill in the 2800 Block of DLV.
  • Suspicious yellow school bus with 4 males in it at Dwight Murphy Park.
  • 242pc Assault at the Santa Paula Motel in the 1400 Block of East Main.
  • Sounds like they found the Counterfeit Dude behind Visions Smoke Shop.
  • Injured hiker at the Carpinteria Bluffs.
  • Premises check Parking lot 10.
  • Premises check Dwight Murphy Park.
  • Mountain View across from Oak View Smoke Check.
  • 415 RoomMates you know they did not steal the Bong 3500 Block of Via Lotto
  • Female Screaming Chino at Figueroa.
  • Several male pacers, pacing back and forth in the 1900 Block of San Pascual
  • Medical Emergency in the back of a patrol car at the Santa Barbara County Jail
  • Fall victim head first on concrete Cal Star Transport to Cottage Hospital 10 feet headfirst blood in left ear
  • Medical Aide 227 East Anapamu.
  • Medical call with PD response Apple 928 State street
  • Medical call 2300 Block of DLV
  • McKenzie Park Premises check
  • Premises check in the creek 1300 Block of San Pascual
  • 242pc Assault 3400 Block of Cliff Drive suspect seen walking toward the beach carrying a Bong so he has it
  • Premises check Labor Line
  • Medical call Fall victim 400 Block of East Cota
  • 415 Family 500 Block of North Quarantina
  • Check the Welfare of a female on DLV who id beating a car with a hammer, it could be her car missed hundred block
  • SBPD on a subject in the 100 Block of South Calle Caesar Chavez who they arrested then requested the Fire Department for assistance in recovering some type of evidence?
  • Burglary to a vehicle Haskells Beach credit card being used at Exxon on Glen Annie all I heard.
  • Ten Shots heard from a .40 Caliber pistol in the Santa Ynez Riverbed
  • Subject with a head injury medical 1400 Block of West North
  • Fire Department Response for a possible Vegetation Fire near the Bridge House in the 2000 Block of Swinney Road.



Scanner Reports, Thursday: 

  • SBPD on an occupied vehicle on the First Block of San Andres
  • Premises check for Skaters at Skaters Point, I said they were going to need a taller fence.
  • Fire Alarms, no Fire 3400 Block of Sea Ledge Lane.
  • 242pc Assault with a metal pipe between 2 Transients victim HMA, suspect WMA got away on a bicycle heading East.
  • 415pc Domestic in a black Chevy in the parking lot of CVS Pharmacy 336 North Milpas street
  • Medical Call rescue mission 535 East Yanonali.
  • 242pc Assault at PATH 816 Cacique involving the same suspect as WEDnesday.
  • Near the East Beach Bath House Beachside of Cabrillo is a panhandler with a lit cigar who when turned down for spare change places his lit cigar on people's vehicles. I know some people who would take that cigar and put it where the Sun never shines.
  • Injured Hiker 1400 Block of Tunnel Road.
  • Vehicle Accident 3300 Block of Foothill in front of the Polo Fields.
  • Fire Alarms 320 West Pueblo Cottage Hospital, False Alarm.
  • 417pc Brandishing a pocket knife 70 Year old male green shirt, grey panties near Ortega Park near a vehicle toward 2 people, put knife back in pocket heard no more.
  • Road Rage involving a white Prius 1100 Block of East Cabrillo.
  • Code 40, Drunk down to the rear of the Bike Station city parking lot 3
  • 242pc Male beating female punching her 4400 Block of Via Real.
  • Attempt Strong Arm Robbery Ortega at Bradbury victim punched and kicked has eye injury, suspect captured State at Cota streets WMA 5'8 Unshaven probably going to miss Dinner at County Jail "Soy Surprise"
  • Vehicle Fire 200 Block of Castillo street.
  • Cable Wires down 500 Block of East Valerio.
  • Possible overdose 300 Block of West Carrillo.
  • Suspicious vehicle a Yellow school bus with no plates and several dogs inside at Dwight Murphy Park.
  • 459pc Audible Alarm 500 Block of San Ysidro Road
  • Vegetarian Fires 2 small spot fires Highway 101 Northbound Los Almos Offramp
  • Wires Down Foxen Canyon Road at Palmer Road in Santa Maria.
  • Medical Emergency at the .99 Cent store for an unconscious subject.
  • 3 Juveniles with a Hand Gun firing it into the Bushes State street at First East Cabrillo, got them on the Bike Path just passed the Skate Park it turned out to be a BB Gun.


Been crazy the Past Couple of Days I guess no one wants to stay at home. I just want to get what I need and then go home...Checking someone's welfare at Cacique and Milpas I don't know whom I think maybe the officer just pulled over to check on someone they do that alot here because they care. Anyway That is all outta me for now I hope everyone has a Great Weekend at Home...Peter, Molly, Belinda, Midnight, Merlin, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Lola, PoPo, Tom Cat, Tomicina, Tiger, Clancy, Shadow, FREDDIE!, Maxwell, Liza, Zoey, Tiny, Andy, FISH HEADS ONE, AND TWO. Poncho, Denny, Zeke, Jerry, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Ross, Rambo, Sherry, Eddie, Bambi, Lafayette, Ted, Willie, Mark, Pat, Mavis, Bengie, Ricky, Mrs. MacArthur, Auntie Helen, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Crazy Ed, Marty, Cop John, David Cox, Po, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry, LUCY!, STOBE THE HOBO, KFC, John Hancock. Micky Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, John Havlick, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Roger, Father Zimmerman, Joseph, Little Mac, Tom Petty, Marianne, and Chris Willing we will see you on MONday-MONday.  Later,  Roger

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Luvaduck Apr 04, 2020 12:02 PM
Scanner Reports 4-3-20

People who judge others w/o knowing them & their back story are presumptuous. Their ignorance & aggressiveness are their problem, not your concern. A brilliant physicist wrote a book tited something like, 'what others think of you is none of your business'. He didn't mean let's all be sociopaths but to consider the source. Only you know if you're screwing up or not.

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