Scanner Reports 4-13-20

By Roger the Scanner Guy

But every day feels like SUNday now even though most of the time I am here alone, a total hermit and I don’t do much hardly go anywhere. This quarantine thing feels strange since it’s something I have to do almost, but not against my will I’d be doing the same thing anyway. Though I would not be washing my hands 40 or 50 times a day, and I know I would not be wearing a mask, they are so annoying especially since I shaved my face is constantly itching as if there is something crawling on it the masks don’t help and I breathe heavily, my glasses get fogged up it is all very annoying but I HAVE TO DO IT. When I was younger I worked in an Auto Body shop and I was supposed to wear a mask but I hardly ever did. I prepped vehicles and smoked like a chimney and hacked up the most Dog awful looking sludge in between boozing, smoking and working without a mask. I was young but looked old, and felt it too. Many Auto painters wore gas masks but not me though since I was a Boozer I did not stick to those jobs long and went onto something else. Now though the masks feel annoying as Hell I am afraid to leave my little nest without one on even though I breathe heavily they fog up my glasses and annoy the friggen hell outta me the gloves too. I carry my inhaler and use it when I have to because I’d rather be safe than sorry and not ill, especially not ill. I think this is my new life as an Oscar Madison GermaPhobe because I am far from perfect and still very much a Slob.  I wonder if one day there will be Adult Ed classes to become Felix Unger with Social Distancing of course…Buck to be nutso again checking everything 42 times before I leave my house…Thanks to Pam and Bob for the care package, Phantom Blot for the masks, and Tom for the micron masks…With this new sanitizer  “true lavender” from Rite Aide I smell pretty…Hair is your SCANNER REPORTS..


Scanner Reports, Friday:

  • Medical call Unconscious subject Ralphs 100 Block of West Carrillo
  • Suspicious Subject WMA wearing a black beenie followed a female 314pc last headed West on Mission street SBPD caught up to him on the Northbound on Ramp at Mission had a past for the same type of behavior be careful out there.
  • Subject in a tent to the rear of a residence in the 100 Block of West Constance where he let loose bodily fluids, Pitching a tent in your back yard.
  • Audible alarm no crime at the Wildcat 15 West Ortega.
  • 415pc Transient yelling obscenities 100 Block of West Yanonali.
  • Medical call 300 Block of Alston Road.
  • Suspicious circumstances damaged blue BMW at the Bird refuge
  • Fire alarms no fire 400 Block of West Pueblo.
  • Break Glass alarm 1100 Block of CVR No crime.
  • Transient in a laundry room refusing to leave 329 East Carrillo.
  • Cacique Underpass Medical call with SBPD response for a Man down.
  • Medical call 3600 Block of State street
  • Suicidal subject Santa Barbara street at Figueroa.
  • Former Employee assaulted her former boss with her Laptop and phone in the 1200 Block of CVR. 
  • 415pc Transient yelling and taking off his clothing East Beach WMA No Clothes.
  • 484pc Shoplifter Rite Aide 35 South Milpas street WMA red hair.
  • Male in a wheel chair blocking traffic Cota at Anacapa.
  • Vehicle Rollover with injuries 6300 Block of West Main in Guadalupe.
  • Transient exposing himself 18 West Victoria.
  • Subject who had been panhandling at Smart and Final 217 East Gutierrez was trying door handles on vehicles I hope he is at least wearing gloves.



Scanner Reports, Saturday:

  • Audible Alarm Andersons 1106 State street bird inside business possibly setting off alarm.
  • 314pc Male with a beard and grey blanket upper State street off ramp.
  • Premises check Chase Palm Park Expansion.
  • Suspicious female Ontare at Santa Maria Lane on a bicycle with a backpack she left between 2 white cars. Police found her and ran her she had a past, Good Call.
  • Med call 300 Block of Ellwood Beach Road.
  • Vandalism to a vehicle windows broken out on Cabrillo near Milpas street.
  • 415 Domestic Verbal 300 Block of Ellwood Beach Road.
  • Talking about the Boat at Butterfly Beach just a mention.
  • Subject yelling in front of Andersons Bakery 1106 State street.
  • Elderly female fall victim at Smart and Final 3900 Block of State street trying to leave, check the welfare call.
  • Suspicious circumstances broken window on a front door 413 State street.
  • Med call in a room at Motel 6 3505 State street.
  • 2 Vehicles broken into 1000 Block of Cliff Drive.
  • Med call 3700 Block of Modoc Road.
  • 4 HMA all wearing Hoodies with knives went to the reporting parties door in the 600 Block of Eucalyptus did not say they were 417pc Brandishing but they had knives.
  • Med call 4200 Block of Calle Real.
  • Possible overdose 200 Block of West Carrillo.
  • 6 Juveniles trespassing at the Skate Park 100 Block of East Cabrillo.
  • Med call with SBPD response at the Sober center 19 East Haley.
  • Fire between a center divider and homes off Highway 101 at the Rincon.
  • Premises check Adams school on Las Positas
  • Checking on a subject down 100 Block of East Haley.
  • Suicidal Subject in a motel 3500 Block of State street.
  • Premises check Plaza Del Mar, and Pershing Park.
  • 4 Juveniles skateboarding 1200 Block of CVR.


Scanner Reports, Sunday:

  • Premises check McKinley School.
  • Suicide Attempt East Side of Santa Barbara, laceration.
  • Premises check SBHS 700 East Anapamu.
  • Panhandler at the Daily Grind 2900 Block of DLV.
  • Med call 4200 Block of Calle Real.- Shoplifter 331 West Montecito 7-11 BMA in his 20’s red hat, jean jacket South on Castillo.
  • Highway 101 at 154 in Buellton vehicle rollover.
  • 415pc Fight 500 Block of West Valerio gone when police arrived.
  • Medical call possible strangulation 200 Block of East Williams in Santa Maria possible 242 Assault involved.
  • Homeless issue the Bacara 8300 Block of Hollister involving theft.
  • Smoldering Bon Fire the creek at Haskells Beach.
  • Possible 415pc Fight involving subjects in 2 vehicles in the 300 Block of APS One blue truck the other black gone before police arrived.
  • Medical call 1900 Block of Laguna.
  • Code 40 Drunk 1500 Block of  South Bradley with a Ranger.
  • Keep the Peace 1200 Block of Village Drive
  • 415pc Subject near the flag pole at the Main Jail 4436 Calle Real miss that Soy Steak Already huh?
  • Audible alarm at 4:30 am in a building in the 1500 Block of State street unknown subject seen on video.
  • Medical call for a subject inside of Rite Aide 35 South Milpas street.
  • Premise Check 400 Block of West Carrillo.
  • Premises check Dwight Murphy Park.
  • 415pc Subject Cottage ER.


This good-smelling soap is making me itch…Anyway That is it for the Scanner Reports I did hear some clown was shooting off fireworks in the 300 Block of  West Valerio  Anyway that is that..Have a great MONday-MONday…Peter, Molly, Belinda, Midnight, Merlin, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Shadow, FREDDIE!, Maxwell, Liza, Zoey, Tom Cat, Tomicina, Tiger, Clancy, Lola, PoPo, Tiny, Andy, FISH HEADS ONE, AND TWO, Poncho, Denny, Zeke, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Jonathan, C.J., Brad, Billy, Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Diana, Jim, Ross, Rambo, Sherry,, Eddie, Bambi, Mark, Willie, Bengie, Ricky, Lafayette, Ted, Pat, Mavis, Mrs. MacArthur, Auntie Helen, Bommy, Poppy, June, Muskie, Roger, Father Zimmerman, Joseph, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Cory, Crazy Ed, Debbie, Ken, Isabelle, Jerry. LUCY!, STOBE THE HOBO, KFC, John Hancock, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, John Havlick, Little Mac, Tom Petty, Marine, and Chris Willing we will see you on ERDnesday.  Later,  Roger






Written by Roger

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