Scanner Reports 10-18-17

I was reminded on Monday of the stupid things people do when they are drunk that make the news, and am glad that I sobered up before social media became popular. I saw an article online about a woman who splattered a store clerk with nacho cheese sauce at a Florida convenience store. I was kinda shocked it made the National social media news even. If I were drinking now, I might be in there every day. I might be a Drunken Social Media Star Sensation. Must be a real slow news day for someone to have posted that. I could see the point of the clerk; this person opened up the cheese sauce package to scoop large amounts out on her food. That is unhealthy; people can become ill and die that way. That there is important to let others know about. But the whole country? Or the world? Concerning an isolated event in Florida? Now this offender’s life is ruined. She might not ever be able to get a job anywhere, buy a home, and get credit. This woman will always be known at the Nacho Cheese Queen of Florida.

I remember some of the things I did and am grateful that it was so long ago others do not remember, though some do. If we ever have a war between the states or a woman refuses to leave me alone, I can always get drunk; it’s my secret weapon. I’m curious as to what some of the readers of Edhat have done while drunk. Some of the funny things I have done; dipped a woman while dancing and dropped women twice on the floor. My dancing sucks, I’m not a good dancer at all. I have shoplifted while drunk and am quite good at it; another reason why I don’t want to drink anymore. I can fall down and get right back up, I cannot fall down and get right back up sober. I always write about things that get stuck in my head like an ear worm. This story has been stuck in my head all weekend. I guess the public is growing weary of biz as usual in the White House. I have to agree, the story about the girl in Florida throwing Nacho Cheese sauce on a store clerk is much more interesting than the headlines about the early morning temper tantrums on Twitter. I guess we might be seeing a lot of these weird stories the next few years.

Scanner Reports, Monday:

A man wearing a mask ripped off two bicycles from a bus stop in the 1000 block of Casitas Pass near Albertsons.
Stolen vehicle, a black Chevy truck from the 400 block of APS, late stolen report, was involved in a non-injury hit and run the night before.
Fall victim, head injury, Samarkand, medical call.
Vandalism investigation, 100 block of Bodega Lane.
Homeless camp vegetation fire, Highway 101 southbound near Ortega Hill in Summerland. Sounded like a two alarm fire with the mutual aid requested.
Theft investigation 600 block of East Micheltorena.
Not too long after the fire in Summerland, there was a report of a subject threatening at Sand Piper Liquor and throwing a rock at a car. Subject ran from the police, but got caught. I wonder if he was drunk.
Squatter with dog refusing to leave a vacant apartment in the 2000 block of Modoc.
Transient exposing himself to passing vehicles, State Street at Anapamu.
Cacique and Milpas, several drinkers blocking the sidewalk.
100 block of East Sola, transient sitting in the gazebo yelling obscenities.
Juveniles throwing rocks, Stow Canyon at Fairview.
Burglary to a residence in the 1800 block of East Cabrillo, upstairs unit.
Fire reported out in the bathroom of Arianna School, started by a student.
Child locked in a car, all windows up, very hot outside. In the parking lot, 2323 Oak Park Lane.
I heard several other calls at the time concerning dogs in hot vehicles also.
Male yelling and walking in traffic, 701 Anacapa Street.
Female, mid 50’s, harassing people for money, 115 East Haley.
Subject with aggressive dogs, Holly at the beach.
Sick raccoon in a front yard, been there all day. If he is still there, Animal Control will be called, 200 block of East Victoria, Monday evening.
415 with Mom, 700 block of Olive.

Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

Ranger Unit on the beach for cleanup, 200 block of East Cabrillo.
Aggressive panhandler at Cantwell’s Market.
Shooting, 300 block of Lolita Lane in Santa Maria.
Stolen Auto recovery at 805 Towing in Goleta.
Medical call for a subject feeling faint behind the West Side Community Center.
Male yelling at an elderly female in the 2000 block of Cliff Drive in front of Starbucks over a non-injury accident.
Subject yelling at McDonalds, 146 Fairview.
SBPD on a group in front of McDonald’s downtown, in the 1200 Block of State Street.
Minor injury or possibly non-injury accident, 815 West Micheltorena. First reported as an injury accident.
Injury accident, Ford Expedition into the center bridge pillar at Highway 101 on Milpas at the roundabout.
Keep the Peace while a subject picks up property, 800 block of Jennings.
Suspicious black semi on the Carp off ramp in Carpinteria. It had Arabic paintings on the truck that seemed offensive to the reporting party.
Commercial burglary on the first block of South La Patera.
Illegal burn smoke check 4434 Calle Real.
Suicidal SMHS student found on the school property.
Domestic violence investigation, County Clinic 4400 block of Calle Real.
Two women physical fight in the first block of Camino De Vida.
A son is stealing his mother’s things and selling them online, 7600 block of Del Norte.
Transient disturbing at Greyhound, 224 Chapala.
Non-injury accident, 3900 block of State Street.
Transient disturbing at the Library downtown, 40 East Anapamu.
Code 2 medics on a medical call at County Jail.

I cannot stand this heat, I wish it would cool off. My place always gets 10 degrees hotter than outside; it’s like I’m being cooked. I wish the wind would at least pick up. Oh Well, have a Great Hump Day. Belinda, Angel Baby, Pooh Bear, Fish Head One, Clancy, Poncho, Jerry, Walter, Fred, Brad, Billy, Jonathan, C.J. Carl, Stan, Kent, ELMO, Patrick, Christy, Cory, Magruder, Don, Edwin, Diana, Jim, Marty, Cop John, Isabelle, Jerry, Rambo, Sherry, John Hancock, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, and Chris willing, we will see you on FRYday. Later, Roger