Holiday Self-Gifting

Dear Edda,

My wife and I usually spend Christmas with her family.  Every year at Christmas time, my wife buys herself a very expensive gift and has it gift wrapped.  Then she writes a card from me and says that this is the best way for me to get her what she wants.  I think she is actually trying to show off for her family, but I would never say that. Most of the time I don’t even know what it is beforehand.

I have told her that it really hurts my feelings. I am a thoughtful person and would like the opportunity to give her the present I have picked out, but I generally end up just returning it without even giving it to her.  Any advice?

Signed,

Un-gifted

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Dear Un,

Oh jeez, that must really hurt. I would normally suggest that you sit down and explain how it makes you feel.  But it sounds like you’ve done that. Or get her something really special from your heart, but I guess you’ve tried that too.

So maybe this year (can I assume you’re not spending it with her family?) you can point out that the holiday is not about a really expensive gift, wrapped by a store employee.  Suggest that she give you a chance, and that if you blow it, she can buy her own gift at the after-Christmas sales.

Either that, or buy yourself that really cool E-bike you’ve been thinking about and tell her, “Thanks, Honey!”

Edda


Edda is not a medical professional but a local lady who loves to give out advice, even when it’s not asked of her. Submit your question to ed@edhat.com for Edda to answer.

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