Cookie Lies

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Dear Edda,

Every year for the holidays my wife makes Christmas sugar cookies. It's a lovely thing to do, in theory, but her cookies are terrible. They're rock hard and lack flavor, even the dog won't eat them. Every year I have to eat some and pretend I love them, but this year I don't have it in me. How do I tell her this isn't her greatest skill?

Sincerely,
CookieMonster

 

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Dear Cookie,

First of all, you and the dog should have nipped this in the bud the first year it happened. But you didn’t, so that’s on you.  Be aware that since you have perpetuated the lie for so many years, coming clean at this point is probably not a good option.

Secondly, sugar cookies are extremely easy to make, and relatively hard to mess up, so I can only assume your wife is, a) using a really bad recipe, and also b) not using real butter. Because, let’s face it; anything whose primary ingredients are butter and sugar is gonna taste good, even a hockey puck.

So, here’s my suggestion to you.  Offer to make them together using a recipe that you found online and are curious to try.  I cannot help you when she asks why you were surfing online for cookie recipes.  Then go online and look for the highest-rated sugar cookie recipe. Offer to go to the store for the ingredients, and make sure one of them is butter.

Let this be a lesson to you and don’t write to me about the argyle socks your kids give you for your birthday.

Edda


Edda is not a medical professional but a local lady who loves to give out advice, even when it's not asked of her. Submit your question to [email protected] for Edda to answer.

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PitMix Dec 07, 2020 08:26 AM
Cookie Lies

I ate a dog cookie by mistake once. A niece had made them for Xmas and they looked like people cookies. It was awful. So, your story that your dog wouldn't eat your wife's cookies doesn't sound right to me.

a-1607383159 Dec 07, 2020 03:19 PM
Cookie Lies

Dogs are usually of the "eat first, taste later" persuasion.

oceandrew Dec 06, 2020 11:02 AM
Cookie Lies

Coffee... hot coffee is the key. Bad cookies like bad doughnuts always taste better dunked in coffee.

yacht rocked Dec 05, 2020 06:56 PM
Cookie Lies

Feed the gulls - it's Winter. :)

a-1607218297 Dec 05, 2020 05:31 PM
Cookie Lies

If these are rolled cookies cut with cookie cutters, she’s probably working the dough too much. Get in there and help, and speed her along so she doesn’t knead the dough to death. And yes, use fresh flour, quality butter.

Babycakes Dec 05, 2020 05:05 PM
Cookie Lies

Completely understand about this sutuation. My mistake was to complain for years about the loud, horrible, G-awful snoring. I hope when said wife is gone, you will not have to pretend to want those lousy rock-hard terrible horrible tasteless no-flavor cookies. I miss the snoring now more than you c At leastan imagine...but in reality I know that I am not alone in that regard. At least it looks like the surf is finally picking up.

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