Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

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Dear Edda,

I am a college student.  I am continuing my studies online during the pandemic. Since I have moved back home, I have been helping out around the house during the quarantine, and spending a lot of time with my family. They’re great, but it is a lot of together time.

A couple of weeks ago, I went on a hike and met my two best friends there. We came up with a good plan and decided that we would become a circle, so that we could spend time together during the quarantine.  Just us three. 

My family is also in my circle.  They have a few close friends in their circle. We have been very careful not to include others, and think this is a perfect way to self-isolate and not suffer too badly.  Just passing this on as a suggestion to others.


- - - - - 

Dear Daisy,

You sound like a very responsible person, but have evidently not yet taken Statistics. First, let’s start with a Circle. It is a line whose ends meet.  It is closed. For the purpose of quarantine, our “circle” is only the people we live with.  Everybody else needs to be six feet, or more, away. The situation you are describing could be called a “friend circle”, but is definitely not a closed circle.  See, presumably, your besties have families too.  And perhaps their families have friend circles, who have families and friend circles, who also have families and friend circles, etc.  Hold on a sec – my head just exploded. Anyway, do you see where I’m going here?

I know this is tough on all of us. I have been spending a lot of time yelling at the crows in my back yard. But the medical community – the only community I listen to - is trying to slow down the spread of a really disturbing virus. 

Perhaps their method is not convenient or especially comfortable, but it’s a matter of holding on until a more solid plan can be devised. So, we all have to suck it up, Buttercup (see what I did there?), and stay inside our real circles, and keep those circles at least six feet away from other circles. Even if it’s a circle of one.


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Seabird May 23, 2020 01:53 PM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

This is unsound advice. It is 100% unreasonable to tell people to not have ANY interaction outside of their household, if they are being conscientious. Listen Edda - "holding on until a more solid plan can be devised" means what, exactly? Wait until a vaccine is approved in a year? I am in total shock that anyone thinks this way. Be responsible, wash your hands, commit to being a circle with one or two other people, and PLEASE STOP THINKING YOU MUST BE ISOLATED FOR MONTHS OR YEARS. This is offensive.

a-1590272076 May 23, 2020 03:14 PM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

Boy this would sure be a lot easier if contact with the virus put a great big "V" on our foreheads and we'd know who to stay away from and whom to keep close. But life ain't that simple. Nor is it a fairy tale where if you don't like one ending you pick another. People don't choose to be infected and don't aim to infect others but it happens especially when those who are infected but show no symptoms get too close and unwittingly infect others. Yes, it sucks. Put on your big girl panties and suck it up.

jimbo212 May 23, 2020 08:42 PM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

Nobody said you can’t see your extended family and friends, but you may not be within 6 feet of them without a mask. That is the order by the State of California.

My family and I have not been within 6 feet of anyone without a mask for the last 10 weeks. Some extended family members have compromised immune systems, so they have been in full isolation for that whole time.

Don’t be a jerk who thinks that the rules don’t apply to them.

a-1590270286 May 23, 2020 02:44 PM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

seabird, you sound 100% unreasonable and offensive. Just stick to what you know and leave the pandemic response to doctors and scientists. You are not qualified and your conjecture is childish and reckless.

a-1590272283 May 23, 2020 03:18 PM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

LCP... there you go again confusing reality, science, with pseudoscience, aka alternate reality. Or better yet that science where you get to doctor the data points to give you the results you want.

Ahchooo May 23, 2020 03:06 PM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

If letter-writer Daisy thinks she is in a closed circle, she is wrong. But her proposed system might reduce her exposure a bit, compared to, say, meeting countless strangers at bars.

SBLetsGetAlong May 24, 2020 06:56 AM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

Have we been exposed to new viruses, Coronaviruses in the past? Yes, throughout history every few years one comes along and because it is new, our bodies & immune system haven’t seen them, more than the average flu people get sick & die.

Do 100,000 die every month, 1,250,000 every year, year in & year out like in the automobile ? No.

So if the automobile kills over 10 times more people every year, why does the government allow people to drive? Driving is voluntary, you choose to step into the death trap every time.

Most deaths occur from too much speed. For example, the two young women doing 80mph on Cliff Dr.

Do the government & manufactures have the ability to slow cars down & make them safer? Yes they do & have for decades by putting speed limiters on cars so they would not go faster than 65. Current technology allows the speed limiter to be linked to the god, which knows what the speed limit is on the road you are driving. So those young women could have been prevented from driving faster than 50, the posted speed limit.

But apparently the automobile is more important to us & our freedom than 30 million jobs, 75,000 additional suicides from the Covid procedures of social distancing, more important than 30% of SB restaurants that will never open their doors again & employ thousands here in SB.

So why do you think Covid warrants such a harsh response & no one does anything about the automobile?

Eggs Ackley May 25, 2020 02:57 AM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

If you think wearing a mask when you are in enclosed spaces and unable to social distance is harsh, you must have led a very sheltered life.

a-1590330781 May 24, 2020 07:33 AM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

Americans are not resilient and are so entitled. I think it's b/c we are a young country and still petulant and childish as we've never seen what Europe has seen. Europeans were smart - they did not throw tantrums because they had to stay home - they did what they had to just like they've done so many times through wars. IN this country there are so many childish kicking and screaming adult children it's disturbing. Grow up. Put up with it for now so that we can get through this with care for our elderly and vulnerable. Other countries have so much more respect for their elderly and vulnerable populations more so than Americans do. Do you not care b/c they might die anyway? Guess what - that might be you one day. You'd be sorry if no one cared for you then either.

Luvaduck May 24, 2020 07:37 AM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

I have been having "tailgate" parties with a friend. She has her circle and I have mine, so what we do is go get coffee and maybe a pastry, parallel park w/a parking spot distance btw us, put up the hatches on our trunks and sit on a pile of blankets to clear the trunk lip. That's far enough to be safe and close enough to talk for an hour and start the day feeling good not lonely. Seems to me it would be easy enough to form a circle doing the same thing as long as you left enough distance btw spots.

happy camper May 24, 2020 09:00 AM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

So what about this- we live on the Mesa. Last night someone (adults, not kids) had a large party- outdoors and indoors- in the neighborhood; more than 50 people; no masks; no social distancing; plenty of open trays of food. No way this was a safe 'circle!' Repercussions could impact others besides those attending, because that's 50 folks who are now able to spread the virus. Should we have called the police? the Governor? Dr. Do-Reynoso? busted the party by shaming them? (yeah, right)

a-1590339045 May 24, 2020 09:50 AM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

HAPPY CAMPER you're experience is not unique. I've heard others seeing the same including myself - and even friends of mine across the country. I don't know what the answer is. Usually I'd say MYOB but this is different - as you said - that's 50 new vectors, each of whom can spread to another 2 people which is now 100 new vectors and so on, and so on. It puts us all at risk. Why are people so selfish and entitled?

a-1590345554 May 24, 2020 11:39 AM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

At least three houses that are close to mine were having lively parties last night! Some of them have had regular parties at their house throughout all of this, not a new thing, but others have been increasing their partying behavior since Mother's Day. I am thinking maybe people are celebrating graduations and they think because it's family/close friends that they can gather 30 or 40 people but only time will tell. It definitely is disconcerting, it makes it hard to sleep when they're so much noise happening in the neighborhood and people have been deprived from company so long that they're over the top jovial and loud and excited. Makes me worry about a quick surge and how that could impact our local healthcare resources. Also don't think it's going to be avoided, people are stir crazy at this point.

Get over it May 24, 2020 04:18 PM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

That's obviously a group of stupid people. On the bright side, if you stay safe and locked down you will be fine and herd immunity will continue!

SBLetsGetAlong May 24, 2020 03:55 PM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

Per the Wall Street Journal, “ The preliminary counts of Covid-19 deaths for the March and April period trailed only deaths from heart disease and cancer as a leading cause of death.”

So it’s about time the government banned all fast food, cigarettes, alcohol and sugary foods. It’s about time the government and health insurance companies require every American to actively exercise & eat only organic foods that are healthy.

Ban everything that kills you.

And per the “experts” the car is the number one cause of greenhouse gas, killing the earth.

Ban the automobile as well.

If you are in favor of social distancing, I’d assume you exercise every week, you’re fit, not overweight, you eat only organic foods, you are a non smoker & don’t drink any alcohol and you do not drive because you might kill someone other than yourself.

Otherwise you’d be a hypocrite and contributing to things that kill people that you have control over.

As to “civil disobedience”. If you’ve studied our history it’s how our country came to be. People who decided they didn’t want the government telling them how to live. They stood up against at the tyranny and created this great country. We chose to not be u see the control of some European monarchy.

If you don’t want freedom of choice or the right to question the government, you should move to another country this isn’t the place for you.

Ahchooo May 24, 2020 08:41 PM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

You don’t seem to understand the concept of contagion. People are welcome to choose food and activities that are unhealthy. What we don’t want is for people to choose activities that are unhealthy for innocent bystanders.

Nature Boy May 25, 2020 10:38 PM
Can My Friends Create a Social COVID Circle?

Daisy’s premise is unclear from her post. “We decided that we would become a circle” doesn’t give enough information to give her any advice.

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