Noisy Neighbors

Talk to them directly

I know that living with shared walls can be frustrating at times. People have different living styles and different sensitivities. I think it is a good idea to set something nice like a pie or some other offering and let them know how it affects you using kind words that are non-judgemental (not saying statements that infer you are better than them in some way or that they are bad...ex: you are noisy and rude, do you consider others? etc) It is always good to remember that many of the things that bug us about others behaviors are not "right" or "wrong." What bothers you might not bother another tenant at all. In addition, we all do things that bother others. So things you do that you think are just fine might be really irritating to others. If you write a nice card with the offering simply saying something like "I was hoping to ask that you be careful about how hard the door is closed because the sound travels and startles me when I am not expecting it. I would greatly appreciate it. Since this building is old, noise before 7am and after 10pm really travels when I am still sleeping or trying to sleep. I hope we can keep good, respectful communication as neighbors." And you could also get some hypnotherapy that will feel super relaxing and make you less startled and sensitive to unexpected noise.

Move

Keep open dialogue with the landlord and continue reporting it to them. Also maybe consider running a white noise machine or something during the night hours. We have a shared wall with extremely loud neighbors as well. The slamming is SO obnoxious!!

Get on YouTube, and search for sound proofing the walls..... There's lot's of good info about that.... think about sound studios, and what they have to do to make it sound proof. Dealing with noisy neighbors is a nightmare.... I put up with the non-stop barking dog, every weekend, (Friday - Sunday nite), starting before sunset till the daughter got home from work at midnight.... I gave them many suggestions to remedy the problem, but finally, after enduring it for a year, I finally called animal control. They put a stop to it, by giving them a ticket.... You might have to call the Police , and let the Police deal with them..... If you can document everything, including audio..., it can help your case. OR... just go over and have a nice pleasant chat, and let them know, the noise it too much. They might NOT be aware of it. Good luck, and let us know what happens.

The nuclear option: Ask the police if they would accept video/audio evidence of the loud noises to cite them. Download an app that records and displays the audio level in decibels on screen. I doubt the police will accept it, however you can certainly use the recordings to show your landlord how your neighbors are impeding the quiet enjoyment of your apartment. If things don't get better and you need to break the lease, these recordings would also provide you some concrete evidence to do so without lease-breaking costs. CYA.

Probably not a popular opinion among the edhat crowd but try being kind and approaching them directly. I know being a keyboard warrior it’s hard to have real conversations. Then again you have already involved the police so your relationship might be toast.

It's all well, good, and idealistic to say "oh, just be kind to your noisy neighbor, and they'll magically realize their errant ways and stop being noisy", but that's just not realistic. This might happen for a very small minority of cases where someone is truly unaware, but in my experience, most noisy neighbors are just not considerate to begin with. The first thing they think about when they do anything isn't whether they are disturbing others. If they were considerate, then this situation wouldn't have happened to begin with. It shouldn't be the responsibility of the good neighbor to fix the problem. I'm constantly thinking about whether sounds from my home can be heard by others. I've even gone outside to listen and test at different sound levels just to be sure. If I had common walls, I would be even more careful. If this were a deserted island, it would be a different matter, but this isn't.

Could it be someone is being overly noise sensitive? In certain living situations, you will hear the activities of your neighbors (eg, talking, closing doors/cabinets, walking around, etc). If it's not yelling and making overly excessive noise, might not be much you can do about it. I used to live in the ground floor of a duplex with VERY thin walls and I could hear the guys upstairs walking around, closing doors and even talking. I went up to talk to them at first because it seemed so loud, but they were simply doing what everyone does in their home - walk from one room to another, close doors, etc. We even tried to look into heavy carpets to muffle the sound. They were great guys and we became great friends, but they had no idea how loud their normal activities were downstairs.

What I'm saying is, you might be stuck with this, so at least talk to them and try to make peace. Calling the cops on people for talking and closing their doors is a bit aggressive.

I recommend HEAROS ear plugs, remarkably effective, I always sleep wearing them. https://www.hearos.com/

I got into a huge wrangle with an obnoxious neighbor and I ended up getting a Temp Restraining Order against him and going to court, where it was made permanent. He moved soon after that, and after he did, I realized I should have moved right when it started. Hopefully you are in a financial position to do that.

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. A few things - first, I already have spoken to them nicely, MANY times. That is why I finally had to involve my landlady who I have a great relationship with. I really did not want to as I never bother her with anything that I can handle myself but I had no choice as they obviously were paying lip service to me. Second, no police were called on them. A friend/lawyer suggested looking into noise ordinance and I called the police to ASK them if this IS a noise violation - because if I have to I'll bring a nuisance complaint for money damages if they don't stop. Third - I'm not overly sensitive to noise. Prior tenants also made noise but it was the normal stuff [walking, talking, moving furniture, that sort of thing]. This is outrageous noise like dropping things that shake the house, loud door slamming LATE AT NIGHT and EARLY IN THE AM and other things. Unfortunately I may have to move after being here so long and it seem s unfair that I have to take on that stress and expense, also as I work, when one of these tenants doesn't even have a job. So if you're a tenant, try to be mindful of how this can impact other's lives.

You said it is a triplex, how do the other neighbors feel? Perhaps you could talk to them together? I had obnoxious neighbors that used to party until 2 or 3 several nights a week. As a 21 year old and No stranger to a party, I didn’t mind until it went on for weeks. Then the yelling started. I called the sheriff. A deputy promptly arrived and apparently was good friends with the obnoxious Neighbors. They all had a good laugh about it. A few days later that cop was actually at one of their parties ( off duty). Luckily I had an incredible landlord who valued responsible tenets, and didn’t care much for the sheriff for some reason. They got booted.

Would your LL be willing to purchase and install some door closers to prevent the door slamming? Maybe also some weather stripping which may help deaden the door closing noise. You'd still have the thumping, etc. but at least one of problem noises would be eliminated.

Offer to install a "quiet close" mechanism on their door hinges.

Living in such circumstances necessarily involves risks of bad neighbors. Just own up that you got the bad end of the stick and move on. There is a cost of course but no one guaranteed you that life would not have its ups and downs. Sorry to be so direct.

PS I would feel differently if you had purchased the property and had less of an easy mobile alternative.

Pneumatic door closers and felt weather stripping are two online suggestions for quieting slamming doors. Insist they get installed. Go online and see other suggestions. Then either you offer to install them or your landlady installs them - and even offer to pay for them though she can write this off as a business expense. At least that might solve the door slamming. And set the tone for the rest of the noisy behavior changes you want.

MOVE.

since everyone here seems to be taking the high road and telling you to move or "suck it up". Im here to say the opposite, why not complain and tell them they are being rude and disrespectful of neighbors, they MOVED there, not the other way around. They moved into a new (rental) house that has a shared neighbor. this inturn means you learn the ropes of the area you just moved too! SO I say, keep complaining, keep calling the PD also. as they will keep registered complaints on file. the more paperwork you have the more evidence you have when things inevitably go south.

but I will end with this, nothing. I MEAN NOTHING, is less appealing than having a stupid fight with a close neighbor. everytime you come home you think of it, you live it, its not calming or comfortable. You are as quilty of allowing this to " cause anxiety " then the neighbors are at causing the noise. I lived next to the train tracks for years. and when I say next, I mean 10 feet. At first I was woken up by every train. after some time I slept through every one, including the freight trains.

I agree with the last post...nothing worse than being angry with a neighbor...you will resent where you live.
If there was not covid going on, I would have an open house...for the neighbors...they could see how you live...and you could mention you are in bed by 11.
I know this sounds like butterflies, rainbows, etc...but I have had grumpy neighbors being a homeowner, and a renter...invite for coffee..does work sometimes...good luck !

Join the Army and get away from all that noise. In other words,. Count your blessings. Things could always be worse.

A lot of advice given here about the landlord's duty to intervene would be spot-on, were we not living in the midst of Covid and major new legislation tying the hands of landlords to do anything about problem tenants. Under new draconian Just Cause eviction laws, and "Covid induced" moratorium on any evictions and other new laws, getting a tenant out for any reason is no simple task. Trying to do so, could cost landlords more than they have or will collect in rent for a year. Even if a landlord could or would pay that much, the difficulty would be astronomical and likely fruitless anyway. There are now draconian standards of proof as well that are required for any attempt to remove a tenant. Even if a tenant does something far worse than noise, it takes a number of witnesses --who are actually willing to risk retribution---to go to court. It is near to impossible to remove a tenant, so don't expect your landlord to offer you a quick fix for this problem. Where I live, some of my neighbors who are tenants used to follow rules of reasonable conduct.
Now, they apparently know they don't have to any more, with resulting out of control behavior. Their landlord can't fix this, and I understand why. I don't know if it would help you to suggest something like this, but I myself have been considering buying a bull-horn and "shouting" back at my noisy neighbors next time they go at it at 3 a.m. LOL.

buy a loud air conditoner for every window you have and about 5 industrial fans. run them all 24/7 and when your neighbors finally cry about it hand them a very rude list of all the loud, annoying things theyve been bothering you with.

Maybe it's the headboard moving from sex. Could this be the cause?

Dumb question, I know.....but how can someone NOT know they are slamming a door.....

There's always the revenge approach. Wake up early some Sunday morning, and if it seems quiet at the neighbor's, start slamming some doors and talking loudly. Maybe they'd see what you're complaining about.

You are the sole determinant that you peace is being disturbed 24/7. Call Sheriff's dispatch (805-683-2724), or whatever PD jurisdiction you are in, and fiel a disturbance of the peace complaint (DOP). The operative words are: "My peace is being disturbed, and I wish to sign a complaint." I live in Orilla del Mar, immediately west of Isla Vista, and have used this procedure many times, generally after talking to the noisemakers on previous occasions. The SO responds, and generally tells the noise makers that if they have to come back again, a citation will be issued. The fine for a first disturbance in the evening is $315, and $1,850 for the second. Yes it is a Citizen's Arrest, and you may have to go to court. I've lived here 48-years and have called in DOP's many times. I've had to sign a DOP complaint only once.

I haven't read all the comments but suggest a recording device that has the time available on it, to show to authorities. In Oregon this type of device was used concerning barking dogs and was accepted as evidence.

I am a landlord and good tenants such as you are worth their weight in gold! Rude, thoughtless people are a dime a dozen. I think your landlord should offer a financial incentive for these people to move before their lease is up, or as soon as it is up for renewal. It is highly likely that complaints will continue from the next person to lease your apartment, should you choose to move. Those people are in the wrong setting for their lifestyle, they may welcome the opportunity to move to someplace more appropriate for them.