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Scanner Reports 9-10-12
updated: Sep 10, 2012, 7:00 AM
By Roger the Scanner Guy
Sometimes I get really depressed listening to the scanner. Hearing all the suicides, Code 40 Drunk calls, Santa Barbara going to HELL with crime. It's SNOT a lot of crime like some cities but there has been a steady climb. Although some reporting of the "Real News" has improved, some of the more violent crimes are still hidden from the public eye. While I get real depressed sometimes hearing some of the calls, I am better able to deal with them because of some of the things I went through in my early years; it feels normal to me.
I used to like watching the Jerry Springer Show because they were always kicking the Scrap out of each other. It was like going home for a visit as long as I watched that show I did not have to go home it was like an addict getting a fix. I really feel for some people listening to the scanner. I know what it's like to lose people that you really love, people that you thought would be here long after you were gone, and people that the only reason why you live is because they are here. I have felt horribly lost for years because they passed on before me. Then came the Scanner Reports, once again giving me a purpose to live, and not only that but helping me to become functional to some extent.
I find myself praying to the great DOG for people who are suffering medical emergencies, or are attempting suicide, or destroying their lives with Alcohol, Drugs, Anger. As fart as Sex Offenders and Abusers, I pray they get sucked into a WOOD CHIPPER 45 or 50 Thousand times for Eternity and then some! Dirty Rotten Scum Sucking Maggots! Speaking of which, that Friggen Mouse stinking little booger I'm nice I don't want to kill him I just want him to leave. Get the HELL outta my little House I was here first! But No he or she will not go. I got on the internet found a humane way to get rid of the little snot. Peanut Butter, Cotton Balls, A bucket, peppermint oil, 3 bricks...OK Take the peppermint oil and put it on the cotton balls place one cotton ball in each room in your house. I don't have peppermint oil. Someone suggested Vicks. I took about 20 cotton balls put Vicks all over them and put them all in the only room in my house. I took the bucket coated the bottom with Peanut Butter put it in the corner with the 3 bricks leading up to the rim of the bucket, so the mousey would climb the bricks like stairs to the rim reach in for the peanut butter fall in WHAMMO! ZAMMO! GONE SUCKA! That little booger I watched him he hoped all three brick stairs turned around looked right at me stretched down into the bucket munched the peanut butter. Then he got back up looked at me as if he or she was laughing and split. If the little booger wasn't so damn cute I'd kill him or her. I guess I have to get a bigger bucket. My old best buddy Pooh Bear is really starting to slow down and it's really bumming me out. I'm hoping he's just depressed like me he's in the corner waiting for that damn mouse to come out.
I'd really like to Thank Liz for bringing me a chair. It was really nice of her to bring me that chair which is wide enough for my girth. I feel like I'm sitting in a pacer. Remember the Pacer? The car made for wide people? I used to be thin as a rail but I wouldn't mind having a Pacer now that I'm shaped like a Pear. Thank You Again Liz!
Hair is your Scanner Roni Reports, FRYday:
1200 Block of Punta Gorda a bunch of Drunks in a trailer breaking glass and disturbing the neighbors at around 4 or 5 in the morning.
415 Two males in a verbal throwing Coffee on each other at McDonalds 29 North Milpas. I wouldn't waste that coffee I think their coffee is good and Monday is Big Mac Mondays a buck fifty for a Big Mac of course I like their double cheeseburgers better I could eat 10 of those Shhh don't tell Doc Sully.
261 PC Rape in Carpinteria suspect captured and detained for police I do hope he is enjoying his stay in county.
Industrial Accident a large gate fell on a worker in Romero Canyon.
Crazy Linda went to a man's house and demanded a lighter from his daughter, whomever crazy Linda is. Sounds like my next ex-wife.
Someone at the Mobil Station at Hollister and Turnpike says someone tried to steal something from under his truck.
Transient with two dogs disturbing in front of Saks downtown.
300 Block of highway 246 484 of a bicycle theft.
Dine and Dash at Pea Soup Andersons.
Shoplifter at the Rite Aid 35 South Milpas.
400 Block of East Cota medical Emergency reaction to medication.
Gas Odor inside Washington School 290 Lighthouse Road.
Unknown medical Emergency at 24 Hour Fitness.
3500 Block of McCall at the Golf course some type of 415 sounded like a Domestic the male possibly has a felony warrant, parole violation, no bail hold.
Small spot fire 3x3 feet Bradley at Clark Santa Maria.
Someone in the 3800 Block of State Street punched a car the jerk was driving a Black BMW.
Someone got their medication ripped off on Dearborn Place.
There is a mouse turd on my keyboard.
There was a report of 5 Drunk males refusing to leave the 1100 Block of State Street.
Check the Welfare of a one year old child in the 1200 Block of Shoreline, did not say why.
Check the Welfare of another child in the 1200 Block of East Montecito in a residence possible child abuse.
415 Domestic Father and Son 900 Block of Spring Street the Son is an adult.
Keep the Peace call 1600 Block of San Pasqual.
415 Subject refusing to leave McDonalds 1213 State Street.
Hit and Run Investigation 800 Block of Miramonte.
Medical Emergency chest pains 600 Block of East Cabrillo.
Hit and Run investigation at the police station.
Code 40, Drunk male yelling at himself at Alameda Park West.
415 Domestic 1000 Block of San Andreas 273.5 Domestic Violence Jerk ran away then came back when he thought the coast was clear, then he went to jail.
1100 Block of Bergant Gang Members hanging out in back.
1100 Block of East Ortega Elder Abuse Investigation.
23152 Drunk Driver, and Hit and Run reporting party followed suspect vehicle to its home in the 1700 Block of Sunset where the police took over.
Unknown 415 Alisos and Carpinteria something about a guy following another guy with a weapon. Every time I take a restroom break this happens I miss the call of the day! Anyway guy was arrested then he became combative etc., etc., etc.
In the 400 Block of Anacapa someone hears pounding within the walls of their home, yea me too!
A couple of lookalike Gang Types shoved a bicycle rider off their bike in the 300 Block of South Voluntario. I'm wondering if this is a new activity for gang members heard of some guys in a car harassing a bicyclist earlier.
2200 Block of State Street possible prowler.
Scanner Reports, Saturday:
I'd like to Thank Garrison Keillor for showing me that there is a Turd in SaTURDay.
Warming Fire out of control near the rail road tracks and Cabrillo Off Ramp.
Someone busted into Pierre La Fond 516 State Street.
Someone in an Astrovan ripped off gas from a US Mail Truck at Goleta Beach.
At Chase Bank 5400 Block of Carpinteria Ave guy goes up to teller and says something like, Someone's gonna die unless he gets some money. They said he took off after that. I did not hear anything about a robbery maybe I missed that part.
County and City Fire call for someone coming into the airport by Atlantic Air for a Fall Victim from a platform possibly an oil platform.
Near Drowning off Stearns Wharf. Thanks to the two kids who dove in the water and saved a man's life.
Theft of Gas from the Buellton Chevron.
242 Assault in the .99 Cent Store several employees detaining a code 40 Drunk for shoving people inside the store. More good people in Santa Barbara. Lots of helpers saving drowning victims, following drunk drivers, detaining Assault suspects.
Then this a man called in a Registered Child Molester on Willow Springs at their apartment complex the registered sex offender was swimming in the apartments pool with a 7 year old boy he left with. The reporting party called 911 and SBSO Responded. I heard no more but believe the deputies got there in time all because someone made it their business to get involved.
Suspicious Circumstances several kids were in the Fairview Tunnel near Cathedral Oaks for a long period of time and the reporting party thought they might be doing graffiti.
415 Mothers fighting over their children East Side Park 200 North Soledad.
Possible fight brewing 20 Subjects 6500 Block of Del Playa.
423 West Victoria 415 2 Transients involved in Lewd behavior West Side Community Center.
Loud Bass Cacique and Canada.
Public Accident 2500 Block of Treasure Drive.
Elings Park "Wash Down" Engine 5 another call I missed don't know what they were washing down.
Loma Alta at Canon Perdido illegal camper.
Disoriented male chasing vehicles 14 west Figueroa
Sometimes I wonder if Disoriented = Zombies and they just don't want to tell us.
At the Days Inn on 246 a 273.5 Domestic Violence Someone had a nose injury I don't know if it was the victim or the suspect.
Code 40 Drunk in the bathroom at USA Gas 8 South Milpas refusing to leave and committing vandalism to the bathroom. He is in his 50's 6'2 wearing a plaid brown shirt.
Couch Fire on Del Playa.
415 Transient at the Fall Down Hotel banging on the front window with a garbage can lid.
Report of a spot fire behind the Holiday Inn near Hans Christian Anderson I thought he was dead.
At City lot 11 a subject in a black hoodie challenging people to fight of course I think he ran away before the police got there.
628 State Street in the Breeze Way report of 10 juveniles fighting.
Report of a 273. Domestic violence victim in an ICU Bed at Lompoc District Hospital.
Scanner Reports, Sunday:
100 Block of Orange 594 Vandalism to a vehicle.
Another Jerk following someone near Mi Fiesta Market on South Salinas challenging them to fight.
415 Domestic in the 300 Block of De Paul Drive.
415 Domestic 200 Block of North Hope I believe there was an Assault the jerk was still on scene and he was drunk.
Structure Fire reported out 4900 Block of Pleasant Place Full Fire response then couple cancelled just needed ventilation.
First block of South Milpas a fellow neighbor benefiting from perks of living in the Shelter NeighborHOOD. Someone whom is Drunk or 5150 ringing their bell over and over and over again.
Check the Welfare of a possible drinker in the 700 Block of Cacique.
Check the Welfare of a subject down near the South Milpas roundabout.
Medical Emergency diabetic problem in front of Garrett's State at Mission. Used to eat breakfast there every day about 15 years ago I miss it.
Illegal Camper on a mattress in a vacant lot 817 Castillo.
1144 Death in the 200 Block of Sheffield.
Overdose on Sleeping Pills somewhere in Santa Barbara City.
Check the Welfare of a subject down Corona Del Mar at Ninos Drive.
Loud Music in the 600 Block of West Cota street.
Medical Emergency Salinas Punta Gorda bus stop abdominal pains.
Some Jerk Head in his 30's wearing a dark jacket made off with a Adult Tricycle heading West on Cabrillo. I lock mine with a heavy duty tow chain no one has tried to steal my Tricycle.
Report of 6 month old baby locked in a black BMW in the Lower Lot of Nordstrom's all by himself.
Code 40 Drunk refusing to leave residence in the 1400 Block of Almond Ave.
Report that a group of gang members 4 of them were in a grey Crown Vic the kind that looks like a police car they were harassing a bicyclist at Cota and Olive then they saw a real policeman driving a real police car and took off. I'm wondering if harassing bicyclists and knocking them off their bicycles is a new thing with them. I guess this is just another thing we have to look out for.
On Saturday Evening in the 100 Block of South Milpas the Great Ballistic Belinda stopped a possible attack on an Elderly woman whom was being followed by a thug. She stared down the potential attacker and the punk went away. There was no reason to call the cops she only calls the cops when she thinks they are needed.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. And that's it for this episode of Rogers Scanner Reports DOG WILLING we will see you on Wednesday there is no Turd in Wednesday. Roger
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