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Scanner Report 7-25-12
updated: Jul 25, 2012, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Will it's time for another Humpster Day Report I hope you are ALL having a wonderful HUMP Day! On Monday Morning my friend's son got off work around 3 in the Morning he's a security guard in Oxnard. He drove back to Santa Barbara pulled off the freeway at Milpas, drove North on Alisos till he got home. He parked his car and got out just as a man walked past him on the sidewalk the man was wearing a black ski mask and nothing else, nothing at all. My friend's son called the police but by the time they got there the naked man was long gone.

I have been reading about a couple of naked subjects walking around town lately. A friend of mine says "Meth and Crack" Would make someone walk around naked like that. "Bath Salts and Zombie" Come to mind for me. I have never done any of those drugs although I did experiment a little when I was a kid. I stayed away from most of the bad ones. Has anyone out there seen the naked Ski Mask guy walking around the East Side in the wee hours of the morning? Has anyone out there seen any naked Zombies walking around town? I sure am glad I got a roof over my head and doors to lock.

I finally got to the .99 Cents store on Tuesday Morning rode my 3-Wheel Tricycle up there my back almost totally out. It was worth it although most of the produce was gone. What a great store to have right there on State Street in the middle of all those bars. I almost went into the Indian buffet, but I'm more of a Chinese buffet man. I got a lot of stuff sugar free cookies, tea, creamer, chips, crackers, frozen foods, shredded cheese, tomato sauce, Hawaiian Punch. I can hardly wait for Target and Wal-Mart to open up downtown. I'm going to wear my Sundays Best when I go to Wal-Mart. I got a cute little halter top to go with my mullet and hot pants, my butt might be a little too big naaaa I only got a 56 waist I'm ok.

Two reports over the weekend of juveniles on roofs pointing pellet guns in the direction of people and shooting at them. Another report of a woman on the bike path between Patterson and Turnpike with her 9 year old daughter. The woman sees a couple men with cross bows pointed in her direction gets outta there calls 911 SBSO Responds gets one fella picking up arrows other two are gone. Put it up on Edhat many responses are "Don't be so paranoid and Chill Out, Kids will be Kids", and, "In the Old Days kids used to do these things all the time." Gee in the Good Old Days when I was a kid I don't remember anyone walking into a movie theatre and opening fire. I guess this ain't the Good Old Days anymore. Somehow I think those who say "Chill Out, and Stop being paranoid" would not take their own advice if they had a weapon pointed in their direction. Chill Out yea? Well Eat Me I sure hope you're not a Zombie.

Hair is Your Scanner Reports, Monday:

  • Assist David units with warrant service at the Oak Park Tennis Courts.
  • Shed on Fire 2700 Block of DLV.
  • Engine 4 and Hazmat on a Hazard Investigation call on South La Cumbre Lane.
  • On the Jesusita Trail a medical emergency code blue and 1144 Death.
  • Illegal Campers in the 1100 Block of Punta Gorda.
  • 415 Domestic near Carp State Beach male beating female they left in a 2001 white Ford Taurus, SBSO pulled over the punk on Meadow View at Linden.
  • Suicidal woman stated she was heading to the Cold Springs Bridge to jump but don't think she ever showed up.
  • Report of a motorhome with a boat that bottomed out on highway 246.
  • 242 Female hitting the Man in the 300 Block of West Carrillo.
  • Medical Emergency 600 Block of East Cabrillo female unconscious code blue homeless woman. I went over there because I know some of the people. The woman wasn't anyone I knew I was told though she was only about 35. I don't know if she survived, sad when people lose their lives especially so young.
  • 261 Rape investigation Rape Crisis.
  • Report of 484 Theft at the Motel Six in the 3500 Block of State Street.
  • 273.5 Domestic Violence Investigation at Goleta Valley Cottage Hospital occurred on the East Side.
  • Some guys in a lite colored Toyota pickup truck in I.V. forced someone to give up a back pack. First reported as a 211 Strong Arm Robbery SBSO stated it was Suspicious Circumstances as there was no victim. The incident was reported by a witness only driver of the pick up a white male adult in his 20's with blond hair.
  • 242 Assault at the Fall Down Hotel 15 East Haley.
  • Report of three men dressed in olive green clothing in the wooded area between Patterson and Turnpike near the bike path pointing cross bows in the direction of the reporting party and her daughter.
  • Suspicious person near Albertsons in the 1900 Block of Cliff Drive following 2 women around. White male adult blond curly hair carrying a black back pack waiting across the street from the store.
  • 261 Rape Investigation occurred Friday night on the North end of Santa Barbara.
  • Subject reporting that staff members of the Cacique street shelter 242ed assaulted him will be waiting for police at the Habit on South Milpas. Police responded to the Habit but no one was there as far as a victim. Unknown if the police ever found the person reporting the Assault.
  • Medical Emergency in the gym of the West Side Boys Club male unconscious with head injury.
  • Report of a code 40 male with a German Shepard in the 800 Block of State Street disturbing.
  • I missed the exact location and most of the call but somewhere on Micheltorena there were 4 Hispanic male adults going Door to Door, it was a suspicious Circumstances call.
  • Report of a 415 Family Dispute on Uranus. It seems like a lot of things happen on Uranus ought to get that checked out never know when it's going to fall off. I wish mine would then I would SNOT feel so self-conscious wearing hot pants.
  • 1900 Block of DLV 594 vandalism someone known to the reporting party broke a window. That SUCKS windows are expensive.
  • Report of a suspicious Subject walking in the 500 Block of State Street wearing a Batman costume carrying a bag and twirling a stick.
  • Medical Emergency on San Pasqual subject vomiting blood.
  • Report of Trash on Fire 35 Industrial Way it sounded a wee bit north of here.
  • In response to the Anonymous person that said that not everyone thought it was OK to beat the wife and kids in the old days, Maybe not in your home but I reported my father once for beating me up noticeable injuries busted up face they told me that whatever my father did to me was none of their business. One of the reasons why I hated cops for many years. A few months later one of my doctors reported new injuries to the police the same two showed up and I told them both to go to HELL. P.S. If you don't like the way my panties look maybe you ought to quit buying me the cheap ones.

    Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

  • I missed the location but it was near a Chevron gas station something about a white male adult with curly blond hair trying to grab a female customer in a store.
  • Medical emergency 200 Block of South Salinas seizures.
  • At the Cacique Street Shelter in the 800 Block of Cacique a white male adult 25 years of age threw coffee on a female and refuses to give her money back.
  • 242 Assault Anacapa and Ortega this the one involving the mugger who hit the business man and kept running. But an Edhat subscriber chased the man down and along with several other citizens held him for police. Good Work Guys!
  • Medical Emergency at McKenzie Park a male near the Lawn Bowling building suffered a heart attack, he was transferred to Cottage Hospital.
  • 415 Female challenging reporting party at the Habit in the 600 Block of State Street.
  • Assist the Act Team on a 5150 barricaded in a room in the 4000 Block of Calle Real.
  • Suspicious Circumstances smell of dead animal near a dental office in the 1200 Block of Garden Street.
  • 415 Fight between 2 males and a dog State at Gutierrez the dog also got in on the action biting the guy his master was fighting. Suspect and dog last seen North on State going thru the Farmers Market. Don't know if they got caught code 2 medics for dog bite.
  • 20002 Cota and Olive reporting party followed suspect vehicle to another address suspect getting out of car appeared under the influence.
  • Report of fight involving females with bloody noses at the Carrillo Rec Center 100 East Carrillo.
  • Report of 415 Transient yelling State and Cota.
  • Woman's Body found on the beach near Mora Mesa unknown cause of death.
  • Medical Emergency at 9 West Carrillo Code Blue allot of those lately Sad.

    Will that's enough out of me for now. I want to give a Shout Out to a good friend of mine who has been under the Weather, Hope you're feeling better, Beverly. We here in Rogerland love you and we hope you feel better. Everyone have a great Hump Day Wednesday. Dog Willing, me, Belinda, Pooh Bear, and Joey the Canoli will see you on FRYday. Roger


     

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