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Scanner Reports 7-11-12
updated: Jul 11, 2012, 7:05 AM
By Roger the Scanner Guy
Once again another Hump Day Wednesday for you 9 to 5ers, you're half way there. A guy just came up to me at Circle K. He had to be in his 30's told me the gal in the store carded him for a pack of cigarettes. He wanted me, Roger Dodger, to go in there and buy him his cigarettes. Ha, ha. I got this vision in my head, "Roger Dodger arrested for buying 14 year old kid a pack of cigarettes." Sorry I can't do it" I told him. He was cursing up a storm. I know what that's like I smoked over 30 years. I think cigarettes were a quarter a pack when I started smoking I'd tell the clerk they were for my mommy. There was never a question. A carton was 2.50 the good old days. HELL, beer was cheap back then too and it was really good back then too! SNOT like nowadays it might as well be SNOT unless you drink the good stuff SNOT tastes better!
The police sure seem nice nowadaze. I wonder what the HELL is going on around here. There's this poor fella in town I'm not saying where but he seems to be suffering from some type of mental illness. The police here in Santa Barbara seem to have all the patients in the world dealing with this poor fella. As a certified 5150 Nut Case myself it brings tears to my eyes hearing how much these coppers are trying to help this guy out being patient with him and all Dog Bless You Santa Barbara Cops.
I have 2 words for our Celebrity Drunk Drivers, and I think some people know what those two words are but I will say them very slowly just in case it's too hard to understand. T-A-X-I C-A-B. Should I repeat that again? Say it with me; here we go T-A-X-I C-A-B. You got money you can afford to pay for one and give them a nice fat tip. Do It. I don't care if you're famous I don't want to get run over by you, I don't want to sue you, or get stalked by you after you run me over and feel like you have to be my beast fiend so I won't sue you or push you into a Wood Chipper. Take a damn Taxi Cab!
Happy Birthday Wishes go out to William S. - a fellow Edhatter who turned 85 years young on Tuesday.
And With dat, Hair is your Scanner Reports, Monday:
I found this really quite interesting at Cota and Alisos large skid marks were found, sign of a possible Hit and Run. I've seen large skid marks in the Milpas Underpants but never anywhere else around here.
In the 4100 Block of State Street a fella in a blue Ford Expedition stopped in traffic (I assume it was at the red light but one never knows around here.) He lay down on the front seat and appeared to be taking a quick nap. Moments later he got up and drove into the Allied parking lot. The reporting party wanted his welfare checked.
2 Miles South of 166 in Alisos Canyon a backpack was found with blood on it.
Full Fire Response for a possible brush fire highway 101 Northbound Carrillo on ramp. They were unable to locate it but Engine 2 found it a spot fire in the area there. I don't know how they saw it and no one else did?
Be on the Lookout for a white male adult driving a gold Chevy Silverado 23152 Drunk Driver that just left Cottage hospital.
500 Block of West Taylor Overdose.
600 Block of West Carrillo theft from a gas station. Suspect vehicle a silver Toyota Tacoma registered in Lompoc.
Report of a male in the K-Mart Parking lot in Goleta trying to rob people that was all I turd about that.
Female wearing a Navy Seals jacket and waving an American Flag harassing people in the Vons parking lot 175 North Fairview. I think I'd rather be in the K-Mart parking lot.
Trash Can Fire first block of State Street.
1036 Anacapa electrical Fire outside Wells Fargo in an electrical box.
68 Year old male with shoulder pain, Dehydrated, transported to Cottage from Tunnel Road after hiking, by chopper.
A young couple jumped the Venoco fence into Bacara property and were said to be trespassing running down the railroad tracks a young Hispanic male, young white female and two dogs a white dog and a small black dog. Geez! C'mon how Chicken Manured could someone get calling the Fuzz on these guys?
Theft of groceries at Modoc and Portosuello suspect thin approx. 17 years of age about 5'8". Sounds hungry to me I feel sorry for people who feel they have to steal food. I ate out of dumpsters when I was hungry and homeless it wasn't all that bad except once I ate Rat Poison and got real sick. I almost ate the big banana that time. T.R., my Santa Barbara cop friend, retired and rich now, rushed me to Cottage. I had already barfed most of it out of my system I was lucky.
This one really cracked me up. Two suspicious males sitting in a white pickup truck in the alley behind the 1800 Block of DLV. Just sitting there the last half hour or so. One of the suspicious things about them was the last three numbers in their license plate, "420".
Suspicious Subjects in the 1300 Block of Rialto Lane standing in driveway across from reporting party all wearing back packs when they noticed reporting party looking at them they took off. Sounds like Squatters to me, Watch your neighborhoods.
Subject reported to be down in the Motel 6 Parking lot 5500 Block of Carp. Ave Fire, medics, Sheriff responded and I think the Sheriff could find no one in the parking lot. Perhaps someone was drinking Vodka and forgot where they hid the body. Or perhaps there was no body at all the story is phony baloney.
One gunshot heard in the 7400 Block area of Hollister numerous people in that area reported hearing this one gunshot. One reporting party even said they had seen a flash associated with the gun shot. But after a few moments of investigating the gunshot, The S.O. said that more people said it was Fireworks, than those who said it was a gunshot, Fireworks Wins.
800 Block of Olivera North County possible 288pc Child Molestation.
Scanner Reports, Tuesday:
415 Fight numerous subjects 1900 Block of San Andreas first report said they were possibly armed with guns. Then weapons were changed to baseball bats and shovels. One possible injury laceration blood found at scene.
800 Block of Embarcadero Del Mar man hit himself in head with unknown item after girl breaks up with him.
4 Subjects drinking in East Side Park hiding the beer in trash can liners.
SB County Sheriff has 5150 female off medication in custody transporting her to Cottage hospital.
Medical Emergency for a female who lost consciousness on the soccer field head injury Franklin School 1111 East Mason.
23193 Reckless driver in white van tried to run over bicyclists at 7-11 331 West Montecito Street.
Possible brush fire in Ventura County faint transmission on scanner.
Check the Welfare of a subject sleeping in Wahoos Fish Tacos in the 500 Block of State Street.
Couch Fire Brewing 700 Block of Albrago 4 Hispanic juvenile males standing around couch in street.
Assist the Fire Chief in the 800 Block of East Montecito to contact a subject in a burnt out truck. That truck must be smokin' a lot of stuff to be burnt out.
1111 Chapala Street Lewd Conduct subject standing in front of property with pants down.
Report of Jack Knifed pickup truck throwing sparks highway 246 at Ballard Canyon.
Check the Welfare of a drunk and very pale subject walking in the 5700 Block of Via Real. That doesn't sound good I hope they found them.
SBPD Checking on a subject at Crown Liquor.
3200 Block of Ridge View Drive oven on Fire possible structure fire.
5150 Moving into News Press Parking Lot. I thought there were 5150's already there.
Report of Dump Truck on Fire 700 Block of Technology Drive.
Report of Possible Structure Fire 800 East Foster Santa Maria.
484 Theft Investigation 300 Block of East Haley.
Will thar goes anutter episode of Roger the Scanner Guy, but stay tuned and Dog Willing we'll see you on FRYday. Roger, Pooh Bear, Joey Canoli, Belinda and all the otter 5150's that live here. :)
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