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Scanner Reports 6-20-12
updated: Jun 20, 2012, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

I was speaking with a new neighbor this morning about Jo Bear. She was outside petting him and saying things like, "you cute little guy I love you." I heard her from inside my shack so I answered for him, "I love you too!" I said because I am a smart aleck. I wasn't flirting, not really anyway.

So we were standing there gabbing away when slowly I began to realize there was a odor that smelled like poopy pants. I thought it was me totally. I'm thinking maybe I should have changed clothes before comming outside. Geeze I was thinking maybe I put too many onions on that steak sandwich last night. Poor Gal her nose was twitching and she knows the smell because she is a nurse. She kept looking at me kinda funny as if I had a diaper on or something. About 20 minutes after she escaped I realized it was the Bird Refuge. I realized, I could finally smell it.

I went over to Belinda's and she made a face and started twiching her nose like Bewitched. I think she was hoping I would disappear before she could say anything and I said "It's the bird refuge." She said "I wondered." I guess everyone thinks it's me. I thought it was me too but that's beside the point. I wonder how much it would cost the city to fix that so the stink wouldn't stank, and all the little animals that are trying to escape the Bird refuge wouldn't die. It's things like that cities see no reason to fix and that adds up. It's just another thing officals ignore that brings down the city.

Here are your Scanner Reports, Monday:

  • Illegal Camper in the Granada Garage.
  • 415 Transient disturbing at the Italian Grocery 400 Block of East DLG.
  • Around 4am 6600 Block of Del Playa sofa burning.
  • 415 Fight at Hot Spots 36 State street, "242" Assault SBPD got there quick and shut it down arresting someone.
  • Parole requested PD to assist them in making an arrest 400 Block of East DLG.
  • SBPD requesting back up on a bicyclist 500 Block of North Milpas.
  • SBPD detainning 3 subjects in the 700 Block of East Haley for suspicion of stealing money from a tip jar at a restaurant
  • Injury Traffic Accident Chapala at Ortega bicyclist vs vehicle.
  • First Block of Anacapa Emblezzment investigation.
  • In a stairwell of a building in the 1500 Block of San Pasqual subjects drinking alcohol and peeing.
  • 100 Block of Los Aquaries Unresponsive female covered in blood. Last I heard the detectives were investigating while the subject was transported to the hospital. I guess it takes a couple days for other news agencies to report.
  • SBPD chasing some fella around Smart and Final, 200 Block of East Guiterrez he gave them the slip for a few moments then was caught at Anacapa and Haley. I don't know why they were looking for him.
  • Suspicious Circumstances female yelling for help 800 Block of East Figourea.
  • Sharkeys Security had an Assault Suspect on the ground in custody at 525 State street.
  • I don't know where because I missed part of the call but Engine one was on an 1144 Death and they requested SBPD, CSI and a Supervisor.
  • HandS Violation male smoking marijuana near the pond at Alice Keck Park.
  • Report of Sewage odor at Market Place.
  • At Canada and Cacique suspicous male going door to door and asking for people not living at the homes.
  • Boyfriend Refusing to leave Motel Room Sand Paper Lodge 3500 Block of State Street.

    Here are your Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

  • At 4am there was a report of a traffic accident at State and Constance a bicyclist was down and unconscious. Engine 4 responded with medics and discovered the man was only sleeping. He was tired after a long day panhandling and drinking beer downtown.
  • Report of strong odor of Ammonia comming from the Duck Pond in the 1400 Block of Cabrillo Fire Dept. says it's normal like everything else in Santa Barbara.
  • Traffic Accident on the 101 Southbound betweem the Milpas onramp and Hot Springs number one lane vehicles were pretty tore up. Female unconscious on front seat of one of the vehicles, I hope she is OK.
  • Report of Brush Fire in the creek bed behind Abbots Carpets 300 Block of Chapala. I think the fire if there was one was found closer to Guiterrez in the creek bed.
  • Suspicous Subject 100 Block of Calle Crispas male in his 50's asking for money and rides.
  • 1300 Block of East Montecito check the welfare of a male down next to his bicycle.
  • Medical emergency for a male in a grey Volvo station wagon on the North Bound 101 near La Cumbre in his 50's he was transported to Cottage. Animal Control was called for a dog that was with him.
  • Injury traffic accident DLG at Chapala not much was said about this.
  • 4 Guys in a white Toyota jumped a bicyclist in the 1000 Block of Cliff Drive.
  • Male engaged in Lewd behavior 1000 Steps at the first Block of Santa Cruz. I wonder what kind of lewd behavior he was engaged in?
  • Report of Brush Fire Los Positas at 101 Fire companies were unable to locate as they were leaving the area there was a rollover traffic accident in the Northbound lanes of 101 possibly on the onramp, They responded over there. A few moments after that there was another report of Brush Fire in the area it was found this time two Engines were able to handle. I wonder how those two little fires started?
  • SBSO was searching pretty much all day in the area around Santa Barbara for a suicidal subject in a vehicle that stated that if he isn't sucessful committing suicide on Tuesday, Wednesday he was going to drive off the pass. He was found Tuesday Evening unconcious on the front seat of his vehicle in Rocky Nook Park unknown weather or not he was alive.
  • In a driveway at 319 North Milpas report of 242 Assault white male adult beating someone up, and probably down too.
  • Suicidal Subject calling from USA gas 8 South Milpas.

    Well that's it outta me for now. Have a great Hump Day! Dog Willing me, Pooh Bear, Joey Canoli, and Ballistic Belinda will see you on FRYday. Roger :)


     

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