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I'M BACK, BITCHEZ!
updated: Jun 02, 2012, 10:00 AM

By Nicole Buchanan Freire

I had other titles in mind when I sat down to write my return column. I've actually written this column (in my head) about 5,000 times. Ok, I'm exaggerating for effect. A little. But the truth is that I've sort of never stopped writing these weekly columns, they just never made it past my brain and into my fingers and then, through the magic of the internet, onto your computer. Or iPhone.

This return to writing for Edhat is for a few people who never stopped asking me when I would come back. My Aunt Sis, who will be 92 in July. My parents. Most of all, Ed himself. Oh, and a strange lady who approached me in the bathroom at work, while I was washing my hands.

I'm trying it again, the writing. It's crazy terrifying. But here I go.

Anyway, I have a cat now. Here she is.

Also, there is this.

You guys, I signed up for this program. A program that involves me running a 5K in mid-July, if things go according to plan.

Yup, "Couch to 5K!"

I am going to be running. Like, with my legs, not just my mental runnings, which take place in my tiny brain.

Running. OUTSIDE. And then I'm going to tell you about it!

I bought a new couch nearly a year ago. And I lay on it, sleep on it, sit on it. A lot. In my defense, it's a pretty awesome couch. Mostly, when confronted with terrifying bad things (everyday life, I'm looking at you!), I do this thing where I hunch my shoulders up, clench my jaw, and remain utterly still. I will even hold my breath sometimes. As if somehow, by remaining still and making myself physically smaller, the bad things won't see me and will pass by, leaving me unscathed.

Needless to say, these habits are not good. No professional has ever recommended this course of action. Indeed, it leads to conversations with professionals! Like my dentist, who worries about the amount of grinding my teeth get subjected to.

Or the lady at Massage Envy, who tries to work out the kinks in my shoulders and neck while murmuring, "What is going on here with your muscles? They're all crunchy!"

Anyway, blah blah BLAH.

John Kennedy said something (in a much more eloquent fashion, in his famous speech in 1962 at Rice University) that really resonates with me.

Now, I fully realize that JFK was talking about going to the moon, not dragging one's butt off the couch and perhaps getting a wee bit of exercise in a display of full blown first world problems. But hey, whatever quote rocks your boat.

"There is no strife, no prejudice, no national conflict in outer space as yet. Its hazards are hostile to us all. Its conquest deserves the best of all mankind, and its opportunity for peaceful cooperation many never come again. But why, some say, the moon? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask why climb the highest mountain? Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas? We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too."

There is no other way through my life except to do the things that terrify me. And then write about them. I do it all because it is hard and because that makes it worthwhile.

Not that I eschew the easy way! No, I celebrate the easy, lazy ways too.

By the time this article runs in Edhat I will have completed my first couch to 5k workout. But as I write this, I am still on the couch, staring at an 8 week schedule on my iPhone (because, duh, there's an app for it!) and trying desperately to get out of it. I will get to the moon.

NOW FOR SOME OTHER STUFF.

Ok, so this couch to 5K thing is a big deal for me. In a few weeks I'll be registering in a local 5k race, and when I do, I'll tell you which one. This is a roundabout way of saying that I invite you to join me, sometime in mid-July, at some undetermined location, to run a 5K.

I'll be the lady in the Edhat t-shirt. (You have an Edhat t-shirt, right? Go get one!) Try not to laugh or I will punch you.

I'll be here once a week, yammering on.

But there's more! Because I work in a library and I love books and I love my iPhone, I take a picture every weekday. And I'll be sharing those with you, Monday through Friday. So be prepared to geek out with me on that topic. Books are lovely photographic subjects.

Ok, deep breaths. Let's go.

Oh, I mean now. Go now.

To the moon!

-- Nicole Buchanan Freire

 

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