How Well Do You Know Your Columnist?
by Nicole Freire
This week we're all going to play a little game called, "How Well Do You Know Your Columnist?" If you've been reading my columns for a while, you should do pretty well.
No cheating is allowed. And if you do cheat, you will go to bed each night with that guilt resting on your chest. My family is not allowed to win, however, they can take the test if only to see how much they really know about me.
You might want to get a pencil and some paper to keep track of your answers. Ready? Ok. Good Luck and play nicely.
Oops, I forgot to tell you that there are prizes! But I won't tell you about them yet. You have to do the test/game first.
1: How many times have pictures of my feet appeared on Edhat?
2: Of the following nature related items, which freaks me out the most?
a) worms on the sidewalk after a rain
b) palm trees that haven't shed their old palms and look like eczema
c) granary trees
d) large groups of ants
3: Which director and film did I guess would win the Oscar the last time I covered the director's panel for the film festival?
4: How did I know that?
5: Do I like to cook?
6: If I had to choose one place to live my entire life where would it be?
7: Now that I've stopped drinking coffee, which beverage do I drink?
8: What hangs above my bed?
a) a Japanese lantern
b) a replica of a Calder mobile
c) a popcorn ceiling with the little shiny flecks in it
d) a Howard Connor butterfly mobile
e) spider webs
9: Who was the angriest reader/commenter ever to appear in my comments section?
10: Of the following, what did he/she suggest I do?
a) suggested that if I didn't want to dance I should stay home
b) get myself a tattoo for my 50th birthday
c) get a life
d) become 'hot'
11: Based on regular column reading, whose picture would you guess I have hanging by my computer?
a) my sister
b) Paul Haggis
c) Barack Obama
d) The tattoo lady from the concert
12: What self proclaimed holiday do I think should become official?
a) Use a pumice stone on your icky heels Day
b) Malasada Day
c) Every meal should be breakfast Day
d) Flip Flop Day
13: How many recipes have I shared with my readers?
14: What surgery did I have last year?
a) gallbladder removal
c) hair plugs
d) tubes put into my ears
15: What topic do I go on and on about?
c) my health, both physical and mental
e) the giant plane at the Reagan Library
16: What state did I purportedly insult during the presidential race?
17: What onerous chore have I offered to do for you in exchange for money?
a) pull weeds from your yard
b) pretend to be interested in your dreams
c) return your movies to Blockbuster
d) do your taxes
18: What hobby or craft have I taken up that sometimes frustrates me?
a) rug hooking
b) stained glass
19: Which television show do I mention often in my columns?
a) Dancing With The Stars
b) Law and Order: SVU
c) Law and Order
d) Battlestar Galactica
e) Law and Order: Criminal Intent
20: What activity do I fail at most often?
a) getting my columns in on time
b) buying good beer
c) my ballet class
d) buying too much Halloween candy
21: What do I keep in my happy green can?
b) pieces of string
d) cracked heel foot cream
22: Of the following, what pisses me off?
a) Roman Polanski
b) lists of things to do before you die
c) the fact that I cannot dress myself very well
d) not being able to wear lipstick anymore
e) 3/4 length sleeves
23: What dumb activity did I do to give myself a concussion?
a) fell down while bowling at Zodo's
b) trying to vacuum a spider off the ceiling while standing on a chair
c) tried to exit my bathroom using the door
d) riding my daughter's skateboard
24: What semi-icky food thing do I do with certain foods?
a) eat watermelon and spit the seeds out
b) slurp my coffee
c) pull the onion out of an onion ring and just eat the ring part
d) drink milk out of the carton when there is only a little bit left
Now you may click over to the answer portion of the quiz. Add up your correct answers.
Post your score in the comments section. All readers who score over 20 will have their names dropped into a hat and one pulled out at random. The winner (and both local and non-local readers can play and win, as the prize can be sent via U.S. Mail if needed) receives a double batch of OMG Granola! The winner can specify which nuts and fruits they would like to have (or not have) in their yummy OMG Granola!
The reader with the lowest points will receive a funny but consoling postcard from me. Again, if there is more than one loser, names in hats, etc.
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Nicole Freire is a freelance writer who lives in Santa Barbara.