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Scanner Reports 3-21-12
updated: Mar 21, 2012, 7:05 AM
By Roger the Scanner Guy
Wednesday, Happy Hump Day for those of whom indulge. A woman just called the police on herself because she's drunk and she thinks she might go for a ride. "That's what I'm talking about!" Snitch yourself out. I have done that before. The woman got in the truck a gray Blazer with her nine year old kid and she's traveling West on Clark in Santa Maria, she even gave them her license plate number. She is pulled over now. I called the police on myself once because I was trying to fight a guy I was mad at chasing him around his store. The fight was very unlikely because I drank a bottle of cough syrup and I was moving very s-l-o-w-l-y... The SBPD got me and took me to the Sober Center. It was the only time I stayed until they told me I could go. Every other time I was ever in there I took off within 5 minutes. I was a volunteer there before it twas the Sober center. That doesn't mean I'm a know it all.
Here we have 3 Drunk old men running in traffic in the 1100 Block of State street one wearing only underpants. At least it's a report of three old men running around one in his undies panties. The strange things we do while drunk. I'm glad I'm not waking up on the Railroad tracks anymore with the Union Pacific bearing down, that was getting kinda close.
I was crossing Cacique at Milpas the otter day in the CROSSWALK and everyone stopped for me. I felt like dropping everything and singing in the intersection, but they woulda runned me over then. My voice ain't what it use ta be.
A lot of auto burglaries lately also some auto thefts. LOCK YOUR DOORS.
Hair's Your Scanner Reports, Monday-Monday:
A ‘93 Green Honda Accord hotwired and ripped off on New Love.
Local 5150 Stephen P. yelling sexual comments at a group of High School kids downtown.
242 Assault investigation at the station.
800 Block of Cacique 415 Domestic in RV Parked in front of the Cacique Street Shelter.
415 East Montecito suspicious circumstances WMA Taking apart bicycle on the sidewalk.
Report of 50-60 year old man in possession of a gray purse he pulled out of his backpack at Vera Cruz Park. Someone called it in as suspicious.
Medical Emergency for someone on a school bus 800 Block of San Pasqual.
Elm at Carp Check the Welfare of a male laying on the ground.
SBPD and Cottage were seeking a female transient with a possibly severe medical problem a possible brain bleed. They found her.
Fall victim down an embankment 101 at El Sueno near the guard rail not getting up.
1500 Block of Bath a BMA just walked into someone's apartment then quickly walked out. I have been hearing these calls lately.
On the Reservation Dope dealer tried to get dog to attack deputy. Deputy shot dog. Dope dealer went to jail.
She poured out her Mother's Vodka and her Mother placed her hands around her Daughter's throat. Somewhere in North County. My mother always loved her Vodka more than me too! Un-Ballistic Belinda laughed.
Smart and Final 200 Block of East Gutierrez BMA Dreadlocks ripped off black mountain bicycle. The first place I would look is the Labor Line.
415 In front of Macys 700 Block of State Street one in custody.
Two males smoking grass in the Barking Spider Parking Lot of Circle K. 200 South Milpas.
Scanner Reports, Tuesday:
Check the area for 6 shots heard in the area of 1800 Block of East Cabrillo. I hope they don't wake anyone up over there.
Highway 101 at Castillo Smoke investigation no fire found. Not everywhere there is smoke, there is fire.
459 Burglary to a vehicle in Santa Maria.
242 Assault investigation at the station.
Female fall victim in the parking lot of Natural Cafe on Hitchcock.
Suspicious Subjects HMAs with backpacks hiding from vehicles as they approach 1800 Block of Los Canoas.
242 Slap, Anacapa at Haley, one transient slapped the other.
Report of Aggressive Panhandler inside Our Lady of Sorrows Church.
Medical Emergency on the grounds of the Santa Barbara Inn woman with brain bleed. This is the homeless gal with the severe medical problem. I thought they caught up with her yesterday. I hope she's ok pretty serious thing.
Smoke Odor inside Wells Fargo 1000 Anacapa never heard no more about that.
Airplane down one minor injury near Greka, single engine 2 seater, lucky.
At Entrance and Hollister driving a 96 Dodge Primer gray tags good till 2003. They got some time left. Reckless driver but SNOT for long.
25 Bicyclists taking over Skaters Point.
400 Block of West Anapamu 459 Burglary to a residence.
The Slapper from Anacapa and Haley got caught. Hey! That's got a nice ring to it The Slapper, almost like the Clapper, only it slaps. I wouldn't mind having one of those...HeeHeeHee.
I had a Clapper once it didn't work...Anyway there ain't no more so I'm gonna mosey on the HELL outta here, Later Gators! Dog Willing Me, Pooh Bear, and Un-Ballistic Belinda will see you on FRYday. Roger
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