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Scanner Reports 3-07-12
updated: Mar 07, 2012, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Well once again it's Hump Day Wednesday, but SNOT for me. Don't ya hate when ya get crumbs all over your keyboard? What is worse is coffee, ice cream, soup - it's all there in my keyboard waiting to be eaten. Kinda like having crumbs in your beard. When I see someone with crumbs in their beard I think the poor guy must have barfed and didn't get it all cleaned up. It's kinda gross; sometimes I gag when I see food particles in a man's beard, I don't mean to be sexist but I don't see very many women with beards. I have a beard and I'm pretty self-conscious about it, I'm always cleaning that thing. I don't want to gross people out. I guess I do in a way anyway because I'm not as thin or pretty as I once was. I don't mind though; my cat still loves me.

Funny sometimes I buy the News Suppressed and read it, but mostly I look at the pictures. Anyway I picked up the papers yesterday, I say newspapers because the paper is not as thick as it used to be and after putting my 75 cents in the news rack and grabbing what I thought was one paper was actually 6, I put the other 5 back. While reading it I happened upon a small article on the back page in the lower left hand part of the paper it was about the power outages we had one over the weekend and the otter Monday Evening. The writer of the article stated, concerning the Monday evening outage, that a bird at a substation came in contact with power lines, according to Patricia Bartoli-Wible. I'm wondering if this is the same substation and power outage that a witness stated 4 youngsturds dressed in black threw metal over the fence striking a transformer causing it to blow. I did not hear anything about birds over the scanner. Maybe it was 4 crows dropping something metal over the fence they are usually dressed in black...I guess maybe the witnesses eye sight can be a little off. So was it a bird? Or 4 junior future terrorists that blew the power for 744 customers on Gutierrez, Monday Evening? I was actually thinking that The Nudes Suppressed was beginning to report the real news. Until I saw that of course the reporter was only reporting what a spokesperson for SCE Said, so maybe they are getting better at reporting the nudes.

Scanner Reports, Monday:

  • 415 Road Rage in the parking lot of Rite Aid 35 South Milpas a green Ford F-150 vs a white Ford Ranger.
  • Traffic Accident Anacapa and Cota someone ran a light.
  • 459 Burglary to a vehicle 300 Block of East DLG, one juvenile caught the other got away.
  • 5 or 6 Transients arguing at Vera Cruz park 130 East Cota Street.
  • Frank 3 on a group 1300 Block of East Cabrillo.
  • Transient harassing customers at 7-11 331 West Montecito.
  • 1900 Block of Rose Avenue in Ventura at the Chase Bank possible elder abuse involving theft of money.
  • 1900 Block of DLV 487 Theft of Bicycle.
  • 594 Vandalism at Santa Barbara High School.
  • 415 Another group of transients raising HELL at Vera Cruz Park.
  • Medical Emergency at the bus stop in front of SBCC Female unconscious at the bus stop.
  • 415 Patient 4444 Calle Real at County Mental Health female patient threatening to throw chairs through a window, and verbally assaulting her Case Worker.
  • Suicide attempt on DLV wrist cut.
  • Illegal camper near the Old Mission 2200 Block of Laguna.
  • 40 East Anapamu at the Library lewd male under a blue blanket.
  • Report of transformer fire at the Substation on Edison street.
  • 4 Youngsturds seen throwing metal over fence causing a transformer to blow knocking out power around town.
  • Medical Emergency for an unresponsive male at the Boathouse Restaurant.
  • 10851, 11 West Victoria stolen vehicle white 4-Door Lexus.
  • Live Loud Band Cacique at Quarantina in the area.
  • Family 415 100 Block of South Kellogg.
  • Garden at DLG report of Anxiety Attack, I hate those things.
  • Ex BoyFIEND refusing to leave 800 Block of East DLG.
  • Code 40 male refusing to leave Cleveland School campus on APS per School Security.
  • Anutter 415 male yelling on Salinas and Pitos.
  • Missed 100 Block but there was a peeper on Ellwood Beach Road looking at a female in the bathroom window of her apartment, Male wearing a dark hoodie.

    Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

  • Reckless dark BMW South on Milpas at excessive speed.
  • 459 Burglary 1100 Block of Wynath Court I hope I spilled the street right, a wallet was taken.
  • Drug Sales between students at La Colina JUNIOR HIGH; starting to sound like my home town.
  • HMA on Albrago checking out bicycles possible theft brewing.
  • Suspicious Truck 900 Block of Club House construction equipment in bed been sitting there 3 days no construction going on in the neighborhood.
  • Medical emergency at Mission Terrace unknown type.
  • 242 Assault Investigation at La Colina JUNIOR HIGH. What is going on over there?
  • 800 Block of Bath street 242 Brother hit other brother.
  • Suspicious man sitting in lite colored truck all day in the 400 Block of Ellwood Beach Road.
  • 1221 Chapala report of mail box on fire.
  • 1400 Block of Mission Ridge woman on Road bleeding. I'm not sure if it was determined whether she fell or was hit by a car. I think they said she fell. Transported to Cottage with head injury.
  • Code 40 Drunk East on Haley punching trees and yelling. That's going to hurt in the morning.
  • 1100 Block of DLV Smoke investigation. It was a small palm tree on fire in that block.
  • Report of 6 Subjects fighting Haley and Anacapa parking lot side of Haley.
  • Code 40 Mother and Daughter in the 400 Block of Anacapa.
  • CSI Request for a Nora Unit at State and Valerio.
  • Code 40 Down in the Dumpsters at Scolaris better him than me. I've slept a night or two in a dumpster before.
  • Pirate causing disturbance in Santa Barbara business possibly a Hotel. I missed which one but later on heard there was a pirate walking the streets of Santa Barbara carrying a big stick.
  • Medical emergency for a fainter at Anacapa and Haley the subject was wearing plaid and drunk.
  • 20002 Mission off ramp Hit and Run suspects in 2000 Black Nissan Altima last seen West on Mission.
  • 2100 Block of East Valley Road small brush fire in back yard.
  • 273.5 Domestic Violence possible 245 Assault with a weapon at Sears Parking Lot 3845 State street.
  • 415 Woman screaming as if she was having a PTSD Episode across the street from my house in the 200 Block of South Milpas. I felt so sorry for her poor thing it was cold windy she had no jacket. Anyway the police came said she was code 4. She was quiet after that. I have PTSD So I know what that's like.
  • 800 Block of Clifford smell of gas inside home. Fireman requested police but when police got there they went code 4 so all was well.
  • 2 Males fighting in the 5800 Block of Calle Real in front of Massage Envy, sounds like a fun place.
  • Suspicious circumstances in the 1400 Block of Bath open door mail scattered on floor of private home.

    A lot of stuff going on but this is it for me. Full Moon on Thursday the 8th but I think it's starting a little early…scary. Have a wonderful HUMP DAY and Dog Willing, me and Poopy Bear will see you on FRYday, FISH FRYday Sounds good! Later Gators - Roger.


     

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