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Scanner Report 12-12-11
updated: Dec 12, 2011, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Thirteen more shoplifting daze till Christmas and there is a HELL-of-a-lot of it going on - a little more than usual. Why steal? Sooner or later it will be in the FREE SECTION of CRAIGSLIST. Well maybe...

I just got back from Panderia Verconia. I have now successfully gained all the weight back I had lost again and my chair is breaking. It seems about 325 is the load limit for my chair. It was nice to have a reclining office chair for a while, but I cannot resist those hot rolls in the morning. Especially when I add melted Monterey Jack cheese, Ham and jalapenos. And since women run away from me anyway, it's just that much easier to stuff myself with globs of food. Actually, it's the otter way around. I run from them...Heeheehee.

Pooh Bear is resting comfortably in his cage. I get him out a couple times a day. He hates being in there, but knows he needs to get well. The other day I took him to see Lexi, his neighborhood LOVE, and she totally freaked out when she saw his clipped ears. He hasn't seen them yet as I hid all the mirrors. Cats have feelings just like Dogs, Bugs and other human beings. I guess I forgot that when I showed Pooh Bear to Lexi. She probably thinks I cut his ears myself and put them on my warm rolls along with his leg.

I told a kid that when she asked me what happened to Pooh Bear's leg. I could not resist, I told the little girl I had no meat for Thanksgiving so I cooked Pooh Bears leg and made a sandwich. I should not have said that. The kid screamed real loud and ran away "Mommy! Mommy!", she yelled, " That man ate his kitty's leg!!!" Mamma was mad at Roger… Hee hee hee. Doctor McDonald has been taking care of Pooh Bear for a while now and doing a great job. You figure a guy owns a farm knows what he's doing, right? The staff over at Mc Donald's Animal Hospital knows what they are doing and they do it well. I call them several times a day to axe them questions, and they haven't lost their cool with me yet.

Fish Head is doing well too - still lays on his/her side, looks dead but still breathing.

A good thing to remember before going to beddy bye at night - make sure everything is locked up tight unless you want non-paying boarders. Someone on the 1200 Block of Shoreline discovered someone sleeping in their garage this morning at around 9am. It's bad enough catching someone in the garage early in the morning, but when they decide to sleep in! That was one of the things that really irked me when I'd take someone in. They would not get up and look for work; they wanted to sleep in all day while I got up and went to work. Lock up your homes, garages, sheds, and don't forget your vehicle.

Wow Fish Head likes Lynyrd Skynyrd. He/she is dancing all over the inside of his/her bowl! Rock and Roll! Well someone's happy. Seems to be a lot of people going bonkers out there, and not the good way. I've been remembering to take my blood pressure pill. Seems like I get a little snappy first and then I remember. Seems like the older you get the slower, sorer, snappier, etc… it really SUCKS!

I've been hearing some Landlord Tenant 415 Arguments, fights, almost drunken brawls out there lately. SUCKS when you're poor and renting usually if you get into it with the landlord you're going to get kicked out on yer ASH, and if you're poor that really SUCKS! I've been through all that and have no answers other than be nice until you have enough money to move out. I got into it with my landlord when I first moved in because he liked George Bush Jr. and I didn't, and I said some things I shouldn't have. Plus I had long hair and I don't think the bleeding fart liberal part went over well either. But we made up. Actually, I shaved my head and got on my knees and begged and promised to vote republican as long as I lived here. I screwed up last time around a little because I thought Obama was republican...oops! Let's all just try and get along, even if we hate each otters guts. Have a great Week! :)

Scanner Reports, Fryday:

  • James B. who might be wanted by parole is hanging out at the Alano Club right now. His parole officer was over earlier in the week looking for James this particular James I believe if I remember correctly sued the police department for beating him up. He still went to prison and is now on parole. I don't know why but it seems there's some people involved in our law enforcement community that like to know where Jim is.....Kinda reminds me of the days when I called the Santa Barbara Police Department every night around 9PM To tell them I was sober. It made my fart warm just to know that the police cared that much.
  • Illegal Campers snoozing in the driveway at 732 East Guiterrez.
  • 1200 Block of Liberty 10851 Stolen Auto investigation.
  • 1200 Punta Gorda Code Blue the person passed away, (1144).
  • I'm not sure I heard this right but it sounded like a kid busted with 10 bundles of cocaine at Santa Barbara High School waiting in the office for police to arrive.
  • 2 Shots heard off Modoc near Greenwald.
  • Hollister Ranch Area 6.5 miles from Gaviota State Beach Union Pacific reporting 5 or 6 cows on the tracks.
  • There was an accident involving a city vehicle, I assume was a police vehicle because the person reporting it requested a supervisor, unknown location.
  • Report of an 1145 Suicidal subject that wanted to hang himself in the county.
  • There was a missing elderly in the San Roque area who was found pretty quickly. I cannot say the woman's name but I think she worked at Cottage once as the Psyche Tech many years ago. HELL of a nice woman. It's too bad we all seem to lose our minds with age. Although I lost mime when I was a kid maybe I'll find it later on.
  • That Amber Alert was pretty scary involving several female juveniles possibly being held by a group of men? They were looking for the one 17 year old girl Christina, but then mentioned she might be with 3 other girls being held captive by a group of men. Once they found Christina there was no other mention of these other gals I wonder what happened to them.
  • There was a report of a fella walking over Los Positas Bridge carrying a woman's purse counting money from out of it. The police caught up with him I don't know what happened after that.
  • 1900 Block of Red Rose way woman requested Medic's and then hung up.
  • Medical Emergency for a compound arm fracture SBHS Football Field. I wouldn't want one of toes.
  • 101 Northbound at Hope Marborg garbage truck on fire, actually it was a piece of cardboard in the back fire put out quickly.
  • Wow I just realized something 8 years ago today around the same time as it is right now was the last time I talked to a good friend of mine, who passed away a week later. This gal called 911 on me after I coded trying to waste myself. She sobered me up too and I've been off the sauce ever since. "Here's to You, C.J., I honor your memory with the scanner reports today"
  • A phone went dead after a scream in the 5000 Block of Foothill, check the Welfare.
  • A very intoxicated transient fell and hit his head in the 800 Block of Linden.
  • 415 Fight in the 800 Block of East Anapamu people were arrested.
  • North Padaro Overpass a woman wearing dark clothing possibly suicidal.
  • Report of 20 subjects smoking marijuana in De La Guerra Plaza.
  • 600 Block of Del Monte vehicle theft investigation.
  • Macy's employee embezzlement.
  • Suspicious subject inside reporting party's office and he doesn't know who they are 800 Block of North Alisos.
  • SBPD and others were searching the Mesa Fryday evening for a bicyclist thought to be seriously injured in La Mesa Park. I don't know if they ever found him.
  • Forced Blood Draw County Jail requesting a supervisor.
  • 1000 Block of DLV code 40 down in front yard.
  • Anapamu Foot Bridge CSI for Vandalism, 594.
  • 23152 Driver in a silver Jetta wagon last seen East Bound on Cliff Drive.
  • 415 Subjects yelling obscenities in front of Earl Warren.
  • 415 Transient yelling on Los Positas Bridge.

    Scanner Reports, Saturday:

  • Structure Fire in Santa Maria on Dominion one burn victim one unaccounted for.
  • Highway 135 at Bradley live deer lying in the roadway injured from accident. On the CHP website it said no injuries - what about the deer?
  • Around 4:25 am a Vehicle into a pole near Carpinteria on highway 101, major injuries.- Someone trespassing at Marina 3.
  • 415 Domestic near Pet Co. on upper State.
  • Illegal camper in car 203 Anacapa.
  • 216 North Milpas 6 Transients loitering near a white van.
  • 484 investigation 800 Block of West Arrellaga.
  • Three transients under the influence Cota at Brinkerhoff.
  • 415 Loud Music Peabody Charter School.
  • Code 40 passed out at Cota and Fig.
  • Wrong way driver DLV at Carrillo.
  • 415 Domestic at Quinto at Fletcher.
  • 484 In Custody 1976 Cliff Drive.
  • They were kicking trash cans at State and Haley.
  • 2 punks walking from Starbucks toward Taco Bell on Cliff Drive kicked someone's dog.
  • Subject refusing to leave the Casino was passed out now awake and annoying.
  • Subjects refusing to leave Fed Ex 23 South Hope.
  • 261 Investigation unknown location city of Santa Barbara 261 is Rape.
  • Screaming heard in the area 1000 Coyote Road.
  • 647 F Drunk at the Casino.

    Scanner Reports Sunday:

  • In the 3900 Block of Via Lucero early this morning a former boyFIEND broke a window and 242'd new boyFIEND breaking his nose with possibly a pair of brass knuckles.
  • 415 Loud Potty 1200 Block of Dover Lane.
  • 6700 Block of Del Playa hot prowl cat burglar inside residence detained.
  • 821 Cliff Drive Structure Fire everyone got out.
  • A man in a tree taking a poo poo on a Choo Choo at the Amtrak Station the train on the secondary track. I wonder if there was anyone in the train wondering what the "Ker Plop!" Sound was? One could write a little song; Taking a Poo Poo on the Choo Choo! Chuga, Chuga, Chuga, Chuga! Toot! Toot! Taking a POO POO on the Choo Choooooo! I wonder if anyone got a picture.
  • Structure Fire on Del Norte.
  • 4700 Block of Camino Del Rey 459 V Burglary to a vehicle.
  • Illegal camper in a garage 1200 Block of Cliff Drive.
  • 245 Investigation occurred Saturday night at La Cumbre and Via Lucero. It used to be mellow up there.
  • Dog bite first block of Mesa Lane.
  • Sterns wharf code 40 driver, 415 with reporting party over hitting car with his door.
  • Keep the Peace child custody exchange at the corners of Bath and Islay.
  • 3900 Block of Via Lucero 415 Domestic broken front window. Someone's gonna get evicted they don't stop.
  • 1625 Robbins suspicious male took bookcase out of portable classroom at Harding school.
  • Cliff at Los Positas single vehicle non-injury crash.
  • Wires down (Verizon) Carpinteria at Salinas possibly dragged by semi-truck to 1400 Block of Carpinteria.

    And dat's all for now, folks. Looks like were having a little rain to start our week. Stay Warm. Dog Willing I'll see you on Wednesday. Roger


     

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