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Scanner Report 11-28-11
updated: Nov 28, 2011, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Once again, we begin anutter week in Santa Barbara where nothing bad ever happens - Monday- Monday.

Some people got every excuse in the world to drink. It's one thing to drink, drink, get drunk, knock yourself out just keep the friggin' excuses to your elves. That's who you're gonna be talking to when all your friends leave, elves. I always had it worse than everyone else in the history of the WORLD. I mean if you were me you would drink too. Top the STORY, I always won at that, because I had the biggest mouth. It has taken a few years off the drink to see all those excuses don't matter not one bit.

The poison of alcohol will be more than happy to take over your life, if you let it. Eventually it will kill you, but first it will make a horrible mess. You will lose jobs, people, homes, and vehicles. Well you might even kill one or two people. You won't think it's your fault it was just an accident They Were in the Wrong place at the WRONG time. Most alcoholics never wake up. They die of the disease, or kill someone else and go to prison. Some live to be old and grey. If they do they usually end up alone because no one wants to put up with their abuse. WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! GET OFF THE BOOZE IT'S A NIGHTMARE!

It's worth a try, because if the person I wrote this for reads it they will know it's directed at them. It's really for anyone, but I'm thinking of you. YOU know who YOU are - got everything in the WORLD going for YOU. You know what they say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it. But I bet if it was booze instead of water he'd lap it up. There is nothing wrong with drinking booze unless you cannot control it, cannot stop at one, drink and drive, break the law when you drink, get into fights, lose jobs, etc. , etc., etc. So what, you had a scrap childhood, so what. Right now is all that matters. I could go on and on.

So there's twenty something more shoplifting days till Christmas. I'm SNOT buying much nor am I going to steal, but I bet people do just to make ends meet. They don't want to disappoint the kids; they want to give them things they never had when they were young. Where I come from when I was younger people would buy from hijackers who ripped off trucks. One year for Christmas after I moved here, I got all kinds of expensive gifts. I didn't know they were hot until I took a jacket back because it was too small. Next thing ya know I'm being told the jacket is hot, came off a hijacked truck in Philly. I was scared, thought I was going to the BIG HOUSE. I got the HELL outta there. I had all these gifts I didn't know what was hot and what wasn't. I got rid of everything it wasn't worth it to me. I was into the 12 steps then and I took it to heart. Except I did sell one of the stereos to my ex-boss who was a retired Santa Barbara probation officer, Mischief overtook honesty. Take it from me…NOT. There will be a lot of shoplifting and theft over the Holiday Season. Lock everything; if you're a man keep your wallet in your front pocket or hidden elsewhere. Always carry chump change in your front pocket in case you get robbed five or ten bucks is a better loss than six or seven hundred. Same thing with a purse; carry chump change in it stash the important stuff elsewhere. You may not think so, but thieves are watching your every move.

Well last but SNOT least, people who find it necessary to put Roger down because he can't spell, or hear, or do anything white. He might as well just take a long walk off Stearns Warf because he can't do anything. Therefore I cannot support Edhat but I will continue to read Edhat for FREE and put Roger down. Yea, you poo dat. :)

Scanner Reports, Fryday:

  • Some people around here are Frying more than Otters. 1144 Death on Daisy Street.
  • 23152 Drunk driver on 246 heading Eastbound no plate, black Mercedes.
  • 484 Theft of a bicycle 100 Block of West Haley, suspect nailed 100 Block of East Haley. The guy they arrested gets busted all the time and doesn't seem to do much time maybe he's a snitch.
  • At Calle Palo Colorado and State Street an unknown if injury traffic accident.
  • In the Castillo Underpants an unknown if injury traffic accident subject unable to exit vehicle.
  • 4200 Block of Calle Real 415 Domestic husband on crack.
  • Assist Harbor Patrol with a code 40, Drunk.
  • 800 Block of Linchfield 415 Domestic.

  • Fall Victim 160 South Patterson at the nursing home.
  • 1145 Suicidal subject 4800 Block of Sawyer Avenue, subject attempted to carbon monoxide themselves in the garage.
  • Medical Emergency near Calle Real and Los Positas leg injury.
  • Cathedral Oaks at Ellwood Canyon one shot turd.
  • Some Type of footsie pursuit in Carpinteria SO Finally caught the guy.
  • 1100 Block of San Andreas numerous reporting parties reporting numerous shots fired I hope they were SNOT shooting at the Grammar police.
  • Ruban on Via Real had a knife trying to intimidate his girlfriend but when he found out the Sheriff was called he lost it, the knife.
  • There was another 415 Domestic where a knife was pulled out in the 800 Block of Lynchfield.
  • Over on Linden in Carp there was a suicidal male.

    Scanner Reports, Saturday:

  • 101 Northbound can on its side subject trapped full fire response near Hot Springs.
  • Vehicle on fire near 5 points 3900 Block of State Street.
  • 4000 Block of Berrywood Drive 459 Burglary to a vehicle.
  • 3800 Block of Fairfox Road hazard investigation chemical odor.
  • 484 Theft of wallet from back room in the 1100 Block of State Street.
  • Medical emergency fall victim from a horse Earl Warren show grounds.
  • 4000 Block of Primavera 594 Vandalism kids ran one go caught.
  • Someone is sleeping on my bus bench in front of the Granada building.
  • 415 Fight Cold Spring Tavern.
  • A tent with an outdoor kitchen area caught on fire and burned somewheres on Haley Street.
  • Smoke investigation smells electrical on Connie Way.
  • 415 Subject disturbing inside the Sober Center not Sober.
  • 4100 Block of State street 415 Domestic.
  • 2100 Block of De La Vina Loud Potty, and from what I understand it's all over the place watch your step in that area. I did not win the lottery so you're stuck with me awhile longer.
  • There was a code 40 drunk guy at Madison's who got on top of a taxi cab at Sharkey's, King Cab.

    Scanner Reports, Sunday:

  • 500 West Canon Perdido combative suicidal person.
  • De La Vina at Constance minor injury accident.
  • 2002 Hit and Run Cota and Chapala followed by victim until SBPD caught up then the subject was a failure to yield at speeds up to 3 miles per hour pulled over at State and Alamar.
  • Medical Emergency fall victim from a horse in the arena at Earl Warren.
  • 1100 Block of East Cota 1145 suicidal male going thru break up.
  • 300 West Carrillo subject threatening Greyhound Bus Driver.
  • Audible alarm in the 300 Block of West Canon Perdido.
  • 23152 Drunk Driver being followed by reporting party who got license and turned it over to dispatch driver went home, unknown if arrested there.
  • First Block of North Calle Cesar Chavez hand to hand possible drug deal subject in RV Involved.
  • Missed location in Santa Barbara but someone ripped off money from a cash register around 4pm.
  • Shoplifters detained at Keg and Bottle.
  • 484 Theft of bicycle at Market Place.
  • 415 Transient near Something's Fishy.
  • SBPD on foot pursuit unknown reason started First Block of East Haley. Went toward Anacapa, thru parking lot 10 to State Street back toward the Habit and BUSTED!
  • Peeping Tom with camera on Saratoga near Hollister peeping in daughter's window taking pictures.
  • Possible prowler in 1300 Block of Indio Muerto, or 459 Burglary, officer made contact with the residents who say they did not call 911...? I wonder who did.
  • 594 Vandalism Pennywise market on East Montecito, suspect HMJ 17 shaved head no shirt.
  • 811 State street 415 Transient yelling at people.
  • 900 Block of Indio Muerto illegal camper on front porch.
  • Possible DUI Driver 100 Block of East Mission.

    That is it for now. In answer to someone's question, is this all I poo - sit all day and listen to the Scanner? Yes that is exactly what I poo - sit right here in my chair and listen to the scanner all day and some of the night. Sometimes I listen to the scanner early in the morning. I sleep with it on all night long. I love my scanner I was even stinking of getting married to my scanner on the Jerry Springer Show but we waited too long. Jerry Springer isn't on anymore. I've been trying to find a girl that loves the Scanner as much as I do but they are all zombies. I have a life, I have my scanner. Dog willing me and my Scanner will see you on Wednesday. Roger


     

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