April 28, 2006 - A Day At The Ratios

This Daily Edhat is being written at Mojo Coffee in The Plaza Shopping Center just behind Costco. Late in the day, they don’t have any food left, but they do have pre-80’s music, Hair Raiser Coffee, and free wireless Internet. This evening, one of the three couches in the coffee shop is occupied by an overly affectionate couple who is laying there, oblivious to the world, pushing the limits of what you can do in public with your clothes on. The man’s hand is practically down the back of his women friend’s low riding pants. Their legs are intertwined. Their arms are intertwined. The only time they take a break from their public display of affection is when they pause to talk on their cell phones.

At the table just behind the couch couple, sits a woman with a shawl over her head. It must be some religious thing. It’s unfortunate for her that her chair is situated in such a way that whenever she glances away from her computer, she has nowhere to look but deep into the nexus of the love nest. When she does look up, however, it creates quite a sight, an almost hypnotic, haunting sight. The woman with the shawl and the man who needs a room have identical eyes – big green ones, like that Afghan girl who was on the cover of National Geographic many years back. With so many differences and similarities all at the same time, it’s like Democrats and Republicans in an election year.

Outside the coffee shop are two armed forces recruiters playing football. They appear to be just having fun, but to our dedicated skeptical eyes, it looks like a ploy to attract attention and a reason to break into conversation with potential recruits walking past.

Inside the coffee shop are 11 women, 8 men, 6 computers, and 3 iPods. Outside the coffee shop in the enclosed patio area, there are 3 men (2 of them smoking, 1 of them falling asleep), no computers and no iPods.

Now the affectionate couple is back to being affectionate, and the woman wearing the shawl is talking on her cell phone.

One reason that dedicated staff of edhat.com is in this part of town is that we just finished visiting Home Depot, Staples, Sports Authority (formerly Sport Mart), and Borders. We were at those locations to survey the male/female ratios so we could write a story with gross gender generalizations and stupefying stereotypes. You know, we were going to make off-handed remarks about men using tools and women shopping.

But, instead of making up strange things to say, we will just tell you what we overheard a Sports Authority employee say as we were leaving the store. The employee was holding a big golf club (a driver, we think) walking toward a co-worker working the cash register.

“I’ve always wanted to hit someone in the face with one of these.” he said, “Haven’t you?”

Home Depot (72%) had the most men. Everywhere but the garden section is the boys club. Sport Authority (57%) was second. We saw a lot of couples with dreams of working out together. At Staples (50%) there weren’t many women or men. Border’s (45%) was the only place where women ruled. Interestingly, the women were in the coffee shop and lounging in the couches (without male accompaniment) while the men were alone in the stacks.

It was a dog picking the winner of yesterday’s contest. There were lots of great guesses that were very close. Our In House Statistician, utilizing a mathematically sound and unbiased methodology determined that Gabrielle (70,55,55,45) had closest guesses. Gabrielle wins an Edhat t-shirt.

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