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That Dog-Gone Run
updated: Jun 06, 2010, 10:03 PM

By The Edhat Dog

It's not easy being the Edhat dog.

There's the fame that comes with being on all those splash pages, the pressure of picking the winners of important Edhat contests like March Edness. And of course, the constant training I have to do to be in shape for the annual State Street Dog Mile.

It's possible that this year I over trained for the State Street Mile. And certainly, though my carbo-loading the night before was perfect, my head wasn't in the right place before the race. Instead of staying calm and collected, I barked and pranced. I was anxious to avenge my leash-losing performance from 2009. Even though I came in first last year, my handler was left far behind.

I was determined to do better this year. I had a fast and understanding runner by my side. I had no excuse. I may have gotten a little over psyched. There were so many other fit canine competitors at the start line! I was nervous, even after all that walking around the block to calm me down.

So when the bell rang for the start of my event, I took the clearest path out to State Street. Unfortunately, said path wound my leash around the balloon arch that gracefully decorated the start line. I was fast off the gate and as I ran for the front, the entire balloon arrangement began to descend to the pavement. As my handler balked to keep from tripping on it, away I went. As fast as I could go. I didn't even notice she wasn't with me ‘til a half mile down State.

I chased after the leader, my leash flapping in the breeze, running for those treats at the finish line. Far behind, my embarrassed handler felt a fool and jogged along sheepishly, a dogless human in a sea of happy running pets. I had a flash of remorse - she a nice enough sort. But, there was no way I could be caught. As I reached the finish I saw my owners, who immediately knew - I'd made it a Dog Gone run for the second straight year.

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And so ends the illustrious downhill mile career of Molly, the Edhat Dog. For the second year in a row, she ditched her runner and took the course of the State Street Mile alone. Once again, she made it to the finish line one back from the lead, only then noticing she was running solo. Once again, she ran too fast for her own good.

The dedicated staff of edhat.com thinks she was just trying to let us know that she is held back only by the sluggish pace of her handlers, no matter how fast they might be. She is a wild animal, born to run free and unfettered. Well, we get the message. But, alas, we can also see by the graying chin hairs, the pitiful limp and the sorry looking pads on her poor little dog feet, that the Edhat Dog is eight years old, and is ready to retire her number.

And no, there won't be a leisurely walk down State Street next year, wearing an orange jacket and a white fedora. Oh no, we won't fall for that one. Some athletes live just for roar of the crowd and the pop of the starting pistol. Not this old dog.

The record books will show that the Edhat Dog got an official third place and two unofficial second places. And she still remains the only dog in State Street Mile history to run the full 5,280 feet with a grown man wearing a purple tutu.

Ed and the dedicated staff see every end as a new beginning. With her days as a miler behind her she can now wag her tail in new directions. She is still young, and there are plenty of sticks she has not chased, and bushes on which she has not peed.

And rest assured that the Edhat Dog will still maintain her busy schedule the rest of the year. She can still pick a contest winner like no other dog can. And, she it's going to take more than a few grey hairs to keep her from looking cute, taking naps, and dreaming the ultimate dream that someone will accidentally drop a whole chicken on the floor in front of her.

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Comments in order of when they were received | (reverse order)

JOJOFLYS	2010-06-07 06:08 AM
Go Molly!!!
COMMENT 80490	2010-06-07 06:53 AM
Glucosamine + Bufferin + rest :)
THE BARRON	2010-06-07 07:05 AM
Super-pictures. Go dogs!
COMMENT 80493	2010-06-07 07:06 AM
Hilarious! Thank you for the smiles
COMMENT 80514	2010-06-07 08:07 AM
shoot. Just as i was planning on coming out of retirement for 2011, my partner and crime dashes away. Tell Molly the tutu is gone forever, and next year is OUR year! Think about out...two old dogs...one last dance.
COMMENT 80561	2010-06-07 09:28 AM
This is so totally cracking me up!
COMMENT 80590	2010-06-07 10:32 AM
Congratulations to Molly and all of her fellow competitors! Molly appeared to be one of the happiest dogs on the planet when she finished yesterday.
COMMENT 80630	2010-06-07 11:40 AM
All that's missing is a super hero cap!
COMMENT 80631	2010-06-07 11:40 AM
sorry...cape, I meant to say
CATNET4	2010-06-07 11:59 AM
Cheers for Molly!! Perro, numero uno, in my book...after all she pick me for a beautiful ED.HAT t-shirt a few weeks ago! Go Girl!!
COMMENT 80671	2010-06-07 02:38 PM
Ahh, don't take away her joy -- let her run!!
COMMENT 80735	2010-06-07 05:03 PM
Oh you had me rolling on the floor howling with laughter. Thanks Molly, you go girl!!!!!!
COMMENT 80739	2010-06-07 05:18 PM
Thanks for the laugh! Wish I'd been there to cheer Molly on!
EZ2	2010-06-07 07:47 PM
Molly put a leash on Leah

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