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Scanner Reports 8-4-14
updated: Aug 04, 2014, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Monday-Monday. Fiesta is over till next year; I bet that makes the Coppers Happy. They were running all over the place it seems. I can't count the number of Drunk, DUI Drivers I heard when I'd wake up in the middle of the night and turn on the Scanner. I don't miss County Jail one bit, or all the insanity and drama that come with fighting da law or anyone else for that matter. Forced Blood Draw heard that a couple times when I would come to after a drunk. I would not open my eyes because I knew by the way I felt I was somewhere other than where I was supposed to be like home in my bed. I was usually sore as HELL when I came to also, that was another reason not to open my eyes. I could never figure it out laying there with my eyes closed so I would try to prepare myself. What was truly insane is no matter how many times I went thru this insanity there was always another drunk in me. Just like many of these guys coming to in County Jail. What a scrappy place to "Come to". One cannot take a drink in County Jail to possibly relieve the hangover from the night before drunk. Seems like whenever I did that I'd get the Dry Heaves and eventually throw up, but never right away. The Dry Heaves would go on a long while before I tossed my cookies. If you're going to get drunk, you should enjoy every second from beginning to end. I wonder how many people came to over the weekend with barf on their clothing? Or if anyone came to hugging the toilet bowl their faces just inches from the water.

I had a drinking pal years ago had a huge beard and when he'd barf he never cleaned it Lunch Time sitting across from him at the homeless shelter was always a treat barf all over his beard the smell alone would knock you out. I remember my last Drunk calling a Santa Barbara Cop "Butt Ugly" Hacking up all over the place I don't miss it one bit I hear it every day over the scanner and though I'm sorry for those doing it over and over again to themselves sometimes I laugh remembering all those insane drunks, out of the thousands of times I got drunk. I cannot recall one where nothing weird happened. Where I sat at home, in a bar, or a restaurant with friends and talked or watched a game on TV Something weird always happened. In my 11th year of no alcoholic drinks I'm doing just fine One Day at a Time.

Heard someone doing a Be on the Lookout for someone over the weekend who was Missing at Risk they said she likes to hang out with the Homeless in the Transient Parks, "Ya know, McKenzie, Vera Cruz, Oak, Alameda, Pershing.." Now they are Transient Parks. Maybe we should allow overnight camping in the Transient Parks. Keep the bathrooms open, put some BBQs out so Transients and anyone else for that matter can cook, and camp. Maybe the tourist industry could charge a couple bucks. Don't forget the City Bed Tax! While we're at it change all the names of the Hotels and Motels to say "Transient Hotel Number 1" that could be the Bacara. Just an idea.

Fiesta is over and from what I heard maybe crime was just above what it was last year, and the year before that so on and so forth. Sexual Assault, numerous Assaults, Robbery, Assault with a weapon an above average number of burglaries and thefts, Threats. Seemed like a lot of people got processed either thru jail or the sober center. Police were out there working it before it got started. All in all they did a good job. Of course I don't know what happened when I was Sleeping.

Will hair is your Blessed Scanner Roni Reports, FRYday:

  • Stolen auto found in the 400 Block of Anacapa.
  • Report of possible prostitution BMA standing next to black Kia with 17 year old WFJ in the vehicle Calle Crespas at State Street.
  • Report of a female running up and down the Garden onramp carrying a bottle of wine.
  • Parking violation in the 1600 Block of Mira Mesa Drive.
  • Report of a vegetation fire outside the Villa Country Club, at 4300 Block of Clubhouse Road.
  • Pershing Park report of 242 Assault numerous people fighting.
  • 10851 Stolen auto Toyota Tundra 300 Block of North Voluntario.
  • Code 40 laying on his back in a driveway 300 Block of Castillo.
  • 2 Subjects overcome by heat exhaustion near State and Sola one transported to Cottage.
  • Check the Welfare of a 2 year old girl abused by her mother on Ironwood.
  • 5150 Cota and State SBPD on em.
  • Engine 3 on a heat exhaustion related call.
  • 23152 Drunk Driver in a white Silverado 42 North.
  • Suspicious Circumstances at Samy's Camera.
  • 20002 Hit and run investigation 400 Block of North Alisos.
  • 2 kids on the roof of McKenzie Junior High.
  • Southbound on State Street subject with a small knife WMA 40ish 5'9 wearing orange and brown pants possibly 5150.
  • SBPD walking a code 40 subject from the 400 Block of State Street to the Sober Center.
  • Audible Alarm Park Lane.
  • 484 Investigation at Nordstrom 17 West Canon Perdido.
  • 400 Block of East Haley non-injury traffic accident one person refusing to exchange information.
  • 1600 Block of DLV Assault Medics Fire staging till SBPD arrives.
  • Code 40 Fall Victim with head injury the Garden Underpants 300 Block of Garden.
  • Southbound on West Main 415 with a gun, passenger pointed gun out the window of a moving vehicle red Mustang convertible tan roof.
  • 242 Assault at County PHF patient vs patient Fire and Medics not required per PHF Staff.
  • 23152 Drunk Driver involved crash 200 Block of State Street Driver was at Union ALE when police arrived so I heard.
  • At least this guy wasn't driving Stumbling alongside highway 101 on foot passing Milpas, Southbound.
  • Medical Emergency at Eureka Burger in Paseo Nuevo allergic reaction to a bee sting.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Saturday:

  • Early Morn. 415 Domestic Arrellaga at Castillo male 242ed female when the police arrived the woman wasn't there so Bone Head must have come out and Promised never to do it again..."Please Baby Honey Love I swear and promise that I will never "Fill in the Blank" again." Mine was "Please Honey Baby I will never drink alcohol again." Oh Well.
  • Heard a lot of Drunk Driver terminology going back and forth from the County to the City and back again.
  • In the 1900 Block of Cliff Drive; Dumb Criminal of the Week got caught breaking in to someone's apartment and said to the victim, "It's ok I'm friends with your neighbor." The neighbor's name was Cameron for some reason I'm not surprised.
  • Suspicious Vehicle 900 Block of Castillo.
  • SBPD was running a subject in Thy Milpas Underpants he was clear and free to go.
  • 2 Other Dummies followed a reporting party home from Downtown to the 1100 Block of Garden Street to their home and was wandering around their courtyard when police arrived.
  • 20002 Non-injury hit and run parked vehicle victim Junipero near Chapala.
  • 459 Commercial burglary in the County but they did not say where.
  • Suspicious Circumstances in the 300 Block of East DLG.
  • 415 Domestic, 200 Block of West Micheltorena.
  • 10851 Stolen Auto Recovery on Pioneer Santa Maria.
  • Fall Victim 600 Block of Chiquita Road.
  • Code 40 passed out in an elevator in the 1200 Block of Santa Barbara Street.
  • SBSO Foot Pursuit on Alondra.
  • Transient disturbing to the rear of 1109 State Street.
  • DUI Driver white Nissan swerving down Via Real.
  • Structure Fire 69 La Venta in Goleta.
  • Burglary to a vehicle 800 Block of Cliff Drive.
  • 415 Roommates arguing 1700 Block of Bath.
  • Several people went Code Blue and Passed away yesterday around town. They were in residences, several were having seizures.
  • 415 Brothers 4500 Block of Beverly Drive.
  • 415 Neighbors 2500 Block of Mesa School Lane.
  • Stray pit bull in traffic Ortega and Alisos.
  • 314 Subject Indecent exposure near the kids pool at Oak Park no shirt on tattoos.
  • Report of a woman screaming for help near Nojoqui Falls.
  • 415 Transient disturbing 900 Block of State Street.
  • Unresponsive subject at the Rodeo Earl Warren Showgrounds.
  • Bicyclist Down Anacapa at Gutierrez possible head injury.
  • Native American Male wearing blue shirt khaki panties threatening to KILL passersby on State Street.
  • Chapala at Victoria fall victim face laceration.
  • Keep the Peace someone's driving a red Prius in the 100 Block of North Hope.
  • 50 Year old male fall victim Cota at APS, Injury.
  • Sexual Battery victim at home now occurred elsewhere.
  • 415 Domestic 3600 Block of San Pablo Lane.
  • Subject with a knife threatened to slit reporting party's throat downtown reporting party called police and they responded and quickly identified the subject with the knife giving chase and he ran probably thinking "Me and my big mouth." from West Figueroa thru a parking lot then across State Street toward the Library into Parking lot 7 where many more police responded. He was spotted just outside the lot heading toward State Street and captured at Gunpoint in front of CVS 1109 State Street, and now he's got a couple charges to deal with at least one felony.
  • Code 40, DRUNK found passed out downtown in a white jeep. Viva La Siesta!
  • Attempted Strong Arm Robbery in the Area of Haley and State Street suspect wearing black "Santa Cruz" tee shirt HMA 5'4 small teardrop tattoo below one eye possibly committed Sexual Battery; also victims were drunk.
  • Code 40, Drunk lot 9 Top Floor.
  • Fall Victim breezeway 500 Block of State Street possible head injury. Sounded Rowdy went to beddy bye.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Sunday:

  • Unknown type Medical at County Jail.
  • Report of Lewd Subjects at Victoria and Alta Vista.
  • Medical Emergency 6500 Block of Del Playa.
  • Santa Maria Juvenile Hall Dislocated Bone did not hear which one radios are in and out lately don't know why.
  • Injury Traffic Accident Cacique and Milpas.
  • 415 20 year old male 415 with owner of Villa Rosa Galleries.
  • 594 Vandalism to a vehicle 1100 Block of De Paul graffiti.
  • 459 Residence Burglary at Santa Barbara Shores.
  • Suspicious Circumstances concerning possible stolen bicycle in the 2100 Block of State Street.
  • Trespassing 6500 Block of Del Playa.
  • One shot heard in the 5100 Block of Cathedral Oaks, possible 415 Domestic in the area around the same time.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject passed out in a wheelchair at Mission and Bath Streets.
  • Trash Can Fire at Pershing Park.
  • Head Injury at the Health Center Samarkand Room 5, 80 Year old female. They did not say how she was injured so I posted it.
  • 484 Theft of an unattended black Beach Cruiser Cabrillo and Milpas female ripped it off last seen North on Cabrillo.
  • 415 in the 1500 Block of Cliff Drive HMA associated with a female and a motorhome yelling. Other motorhomes also parked there.
  • Reporting party is requesting that the motorhomes be moved or tagged.
  • 242 Assault with mace; a female sprayed a male with mace in the 1100 Block of State Street reporting party at the French Press, female with mace last seen South on State with an HMA Code 2 medics were also responding.
  • SBPD On a subject 100 Block of Powers.
  • Check the Welfare of a Code 40, Drunk in the 700 Block of Bath.
  • Unknown Type police activity on Via Barbara in Lompoc sounded like the beginnings of a Stand Off but the subject was quickly detained before it could get too out of hand perhaps he gave up.

    Will another Fiesta Come and Gone. I don't know what happened overnight but it was pretty mellow all in all. There were crimes broken but it wasn't all out chaos a lot of burglaries all over the County a couple sexual assaults, physical assaults, and an attempted strong arm robbery. I'm sure there was more I missed in the overnight hours. One thing I heard in the beginning of the cruiser bicycle ride on Sunday was an officer who was monitoring the riders say that they were being good, obeying Traffic Laws pretty much. I'm not sure how good they were riding back. Anyway that is all outta me for now. Have a great Monday and Dog Willing We will see you on Wednesday. Later, Roger


     

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