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Scanner Reports 7-14-14
updated: Jul 14, 2014, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Good Morning, Monday. I use to have a life a few years back now it seems I can hardly move and when I do it hurts like hell so what's the use? Might as well just stay in one place and get comfortable until I die. Shouldn't be long, maybe another 30 or so years of agony if I'm lucky. I'm sure that I would go out more often like NORMAL PEOPLE if I had transportation. I always had bad luck with vehicles, and women, so why try? The only times I really think about drinking alcohol, a car or a woman is involved. Both have high price tags whether it involves emotions or just plain money. I should not single out women because if I were gay it would most likely be the same. I'd have to jump thru hoops and I'm just not willing to do that anymore. I take that back to a point. If I were gay I'd make him pay dearly; you don't get 6 and a half feet, 350 pound sloth meat cheap, Baby. And we'd be going out to dinner every night too! He'd be jumping thru Hoops! Oh yea, and we'd live in Hope Ranch and I'd have my Rolls Royce Silver Shadow then, yes I would! But I'm not gay I'm depressed straight and arthritic.

I went out Saturday Afternoon and stood at the end of my driveway and observed people across the street at the now World Famous Hamburger Habit in the 200 Block of South Milpas on the American Riviera. Their parking activity was very interesting; it's such a small parking lot to have so many customers attempt to park in there all at once. It's like one vehicle pulls out, two pull in, every space is taken and then some. Up and down the street cars in the red with their flashers on sometimes in front of our mailboxes. On Saturday afternoon, their parking lot was working like clockwork. It was actually functioning without too many emotional outbursts. I figure there are about 20 legal parking spaces there then there's the FIRE LANE which is a NO-NO, but everyone parks there anyway. It kinda made me serene watching the vehicles go in and out of the parking lot without any problems, then suddenly a neighboring business employee pulled in and discovered that a vehicle was blocking his gate. He started leaning on his horn so the parking violator would come out and move his vehicle but that didn't happen so the guy left his vehicle right there in the middle of the parking lot and went in search of the parking violator. He was gone for a few minutes, and then he came back out got into his truck and started leaning on the horn again. Drama this is what I live for. After a couple moments he again exited the vehicle and went in search of the driver back into the restaurant. It was as if the violator was waiting for the chance. This guy came running out of nowhere, got into the vehicle and pulled out. I think he was trying to get away before the guy could see him. Anyway the drama was over for Saturday Afternoon. As I was getting ready to turn and head back in, an SUV pulled out of the Habit's Parking Lot and a pretty gal waved at me. I waved back. I was wearing my Edhat shirt; she probably thought I was that Roger guy. I heard something and turned around it was an acquaintance who said "What?" I said, "A pretty woman waved at me." Then I turned to head back in and he said something behind my back it wasn't really all that clear but it wasn't very nice it sounded like "Yea right you loser" I wasn't going to let it go and said something like "Yea really" I heard another growl but walked away he's just not worth it.

You get to an age where people like that are horribly boring they haven't figured it out yet but still think they have to be the KING of everything and everyone. The easiest way to spot one of these people is in their choice of transportation, usually a pickup truck. This guy has one a huge pickup truck with all the bells and whistles extended cab. Some of those things cost as much as a house thousands and thousands of dollars. The bigger the truck the bigger the little boy inside of the man desires to be, like his truck. I have always wanted a pickup truck. I had one for a couple weeks when I was a kid but the dealership I got it from took it back because I was a reckless driver when I was young. I never got another one but have dreams of having an old one like the one John Steinbeck drove around the country in in his "Travels with Charley" That would be fun. I don't need a huge truck I wouldn't want one of those things that would be like driving a house down the street. Why does someone need something that big? When a regular sized pickup truck has more room in the back and serves a better purpose. You have to climb up a ladder to put things in the back of one of those things without banging up the paint job. The only purpose for something that big might be to make up for other things. Could that big gigantic pickup truck be making up for something that isn't so big? Some people need that to feel secure about themselves like they are the King of everyone else's life. The good thing about it is that people who think they are hot poop gotta live with themselves and most of them are alcoholics they hate living with themselves. I live with myself and like it; I thank the Good Dog I don't need to have a pickup truck as big as a house to make up for something I already have.

Here's your Scanner Reports, FRYday:

  • 459 Burglary 900 Block of Castillo.
  • 600 Block of Pilgrim Terrace theft of a wallet.
  • Vandalism 1400 Block of Harborview Drive.
  • Suspicious Circumstances in front of the Miramar 2 small stacks of clothing.
  • Multi-tasking a fella was Panhandling and yelling at passersby at the same time near Jacks Bagel 53 South Milpas.
  • 700 Block of Casio Drive a ten year old boy was crying that he did not want his mother to hurt him anymore. Police said the kid is autistic, and cleared the call.
  • Report of a subject in front of Stop and Rob with his pants down to his knees turned out to be an overdose call El Sueno and Calle Real.
  • Illegal Camper at the YMCA 36 Hitchcock Way.
  • 594 Vandalism at the Bay Road House.
  • Medical Emergency unconscious female on Lou Dillon.
  • 70 Year old female threatening to stab the neighbor if he calls the police on her, so what's he do? Call the police. Don't take that scrap from no one! 1100 Block of Cacique.
  • Gas Pipe break 300 Block of Nopal.
  • 415 Homeless trespasser at Santa Cruz Market they have an authority letter.
  • A man went to a baby sitters house to pick up his kid and the babysitter refused to give him his kid because he did not approve of her.
  • 20002 Hit and Run investigation at the Sea Landing.
  • Dancing in the streets, a subject is dancing in the roadway El Sueno and Calle Real.
  • A business in the 700 Block of Yananoli had to let an employee go and he's not happy about it, threatening them.
  • 23152 Tan Jag weaving in and out of traffic Los Positas and Modoc reporting party followed to 5 points, SBPD caught up with vehicle on La Cumbre Lane.
  • Harbor Patrol on a group at Leadbetter.
  • Scooter vs Vehicle Santa Barbara Street at Pedregosa minor injuries to the scooter rider.
  • 23103 Reckless Driver a white Lexus East on Haley from Garden.
  • Older Male Lewd Writing and Panhandling 600 Block of East Cabrillo. Sounds like he's looking for a sugar Grand Ma.
  • 415 Homeless smoker refusing to leave McConnell's ice cream store hanging out 2 days now.
  • I heard a KEYT news person describe a quarter of a million dollar bail as 2,500 Hundred, Thousand dollars and thought that was pretty good.
  • 415 Disturbance at Taco Bell 800 North Milpas.
  • Report of two subjects beating up one subject Ontare and San Remo I think when the police got there everyone was gone.
  • Suicide attempt at the Library downtown an overdose.
  • Report of a code 40, Drunk passed out in a Volvo in a parking lot at 934 San Pasqual.
  • Report of a 15 year old girl possibly 242ing her Mother near the Shoreline Café near Leadbetter Beach.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Saturday:

  • 10851 Stolen Auto from behind the 500 Block of North Milpas Grey GMC Envoy last seen 0030 Hours.
  • On Walnut in Carpinteria near Reality Church report of a lot of campers.
  • 459 Burglary to a vehicle on West Sola.- Suicidal Subject on a bench in the 300 Block of West Carrillo.
  • In the 200 Block of West Carrillo at Starbucks a drunk fell into the tables.
  • Illegal Camper in the bushes behind Fresh and Easy, then in the bushes at Alisos and Montecito then to Cottage code 2 Medics.
  • Campers in a dark green van at Mason and Castillo.
  • 415 Homeless subject challenging people to fight at the Shoreline Café.
  • SBPD on a group at Plaza Del Mar.
  • 459 Burglary to a vehicle at the YMCA 36 Hitchcock.
  • Suicidal subject on Spring Street calling for themselves.
  • Elevator Rescue City Bank in the 3700 Block of State Street.
  • SBPD on a group at Oak Park.
  • Traffic Accident Northbound at Santa Monica Rooter Van vs Toyota in the center divider.
  • A roommate ripped off his roommate's things and was tailed by the first roommate to Albertsons on Hollister.
  • Vehicles racing Quinientos at Milpas a black Miata vs white Honda.
  • Code 40, Drunk female raising HELL near the Fig Tree possibly 242ed Assaulted someone then hid in tunnels underneath the highway. Police caught up to her she was combative and taken down, a supervisor responded. She was combative in the police car to jail too.
  • At around the same time in the 3800 Block of State Street a male subject went bonkers at the Habit police responded code 3 (lights and siren) he too was combative all the way to jail.
  • And then I was so busy I wrote this: 415 Fight Road Rage between a grey BMW and a White Toyota physical fight.
  • 415 Subject in the intersection State and Cota.
  • 2900 Block of State Street 459 Burglary to a residence.
  • 700 Block of East Mountain loud noise.
  • Drunk Driver Motel 6 upper State 3500 Block silver Nissan.
  • Someone reported a fire with flames seen in the 400 Block of Hitchcock assuming it to be a homeless warming fire it turned out to be a fire pit at a private residence on Calle Real. Some people hate the homeless so much they are willing to waste the time of our responders to have the homeless harassed for no reason.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Sunday:

  • Notify 638 Public Works for damage to the curb on Anacapa 10 feet East of Canon Perdido involving an Auto Accident.
  • Premise Check Franklin School.
  • Medical Emergency at the Sober Center Seizures.
  • Warming Fire in the 200 Block of East Carrillo early Sunday morning.
  • Subject at Starbucks in Carpinteria yelling something about killing his father drove away in a red pickup truck.
  • Medical Emergency for a subject down unconscious next to a maroon van with its flashers on Castillo at Canon Perdido.
  • Code Blue at a residence on the West Side.
  • Upper Oso Bicycle accident at the trailhead.
  • Alert one at the airport rough sounding engine Cessna one soul on board landed fine.
  • Keep the Peace on a Child Custody Exchange at Food Land in the 1500 Block of San Andres.
  • Vehicle vs gas pump 1100 Block of East Clark no injuries.
  • Vehicle fire reported out 200 Block of Highway 246 at a Fast Food Restaurant.
  • Vehicle accident highway one at Santa Lucia Canyon 3 injuries.
  • 415 Loud Music 7400 Block of Hollister.
  • SBPD Premise check Dwight Murphy park.
  • Medical Emergency for difficulty breathing 1000 State Street.
  • Code 40, Female at Bath and Montecito wearing a cowboy hat.
  • 900 Block of APS Hazard investigation vehicle possibly hanging over a retaining wall after a possible pursuit owner of vehicle on 5150 Hold, vehicle towed.
  • 459 Burglary investigation 3900 Block of Via Lucero to a residence.
  • Safety Issue kids riding their bicycles in the street reporting party reported as Hazardous, 700 Block of West Cota.
  • Check the Welfare of an elderly resident possibly being yelled at by a female possibly a caregiver 500 Block of West Gutierrez.
  • Fall victim at the Casino Fire and medics respond to the Loading Dock.
  • 415 Fight Aguilar Street County 2 males.
  • Medical Emergency rear of Church Hills 1015 State Street unresponsive female.
  • Medical Emergency 400 Block of Camino Del Remedio on an overdose.

    Will that's enough outta me for now a friend of mine lost his God yesterday and I just heard about it and I'm all tore up probably be crying all night. I'd just like to say Rest in Peace, Stinky. You were a good God to all those who knew you. Praise ye the Dog! Will Have a great Monday and Dog willing we will see you on Hump Day. Later, Roger


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