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Scanner Reports 6-27-14
updated: Jun 27, 2014, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Thank DOG it's FRYday. Apparently someone thought that our little joke about Illegal Donut making operations was Police Code for a Meth Lab. I'm not going to say who thought this but she's a friend of mine and every time I think of it I start laughing and I really need to laugh right now. I get this picture in my mind of a bunch of people frying donuts then the police raiding the operation and eating all the donuts. Saying things like "Hey Punk, you got any milk to go with these donuts?" and slamming them against a wall. Or "These are not donuts! You guys don't know how to make Stankin' donuts!" The cops cuff everyone then fry the donuts correctly and feed the handcuffed criminals who instead of requesting lawyers are begging for milk. I know that not every cop eats donuts and some actually become mildly offended at the Cop-Donut jokes but if I was a cop I'd be eating donuts. I'm borderline diabetic and I do sneak a pastry once in a while and instead of fantasying about pretty people like NORMAL guys, I fantasize about FOOD! And that includes donuts. Nom,nom,nom.

On Tuesday Afternoon I heard a medical call for someone who was dead, someone I knew. Friend of a friend had fallen, got up, went to bed and never woke up. Sad, because this guy would show up over here to see my neighbor. I'm going to miss hearing the guy's voice. I keep expecting to hear him yelling "Hey!", but no more. Used to razz me about my long hair because he was a Barber always wanted to cut my hair but I always said No. I'd let him cut it now. RIP Mel.

Here's your Scanner Roni Reports, Wednesday:

  • Medical Call for a Fall victim Ballistic Belinda 200 South Milpas.
  • All quiet at 4:10AM...Illegal clinic 1200 Shoreline.
  • David units Detectives heading to their code 5.
  • 415 Over non-injury traffic accident Ford vs Toyota.
  • Smoke investigation Puente at Hollister.
  • 101 Northbound Garden off ramp SBPD on a homeless camp.
  • Over on Serena a drunk son is trying to choke dad.
  • There's an AWOL from Los Prietos Boys Camp.
  • Illegal Camper in a Hammock 323 East Cabrillo, that sounds good.
  • Subject with an open container of booze refusing to leave Carls Jr. in the 3900 Block of State Street.
  • 20002 non-injury Hit and Run investigation at Rosy Palm.
  • Somewhere a white Honda Odyssey hit a red motorcycle and left the scene Honda registered to an Address on Camino De Vida.
  • Animal Police calls: injured bird at the East Beach Bath house, injured dog at Ross Dress for Less 3900 Block of State Street.
  • Injury traffic accident 1200 Block of San Andres.
  • Smoking electrical outlet 4400 Block of North Oaks Drive.
  • Subject trapped in a bathroom on a bus screaming his friggen head off to get out. Poor guy must have just dropped the kids off at the pool. He got out on his own and before half of the City's Fire department could arrive he ran away, at Vernon and Stanley.
  • Fake ID Woodstock's Pizza.
  • 415 At MTD 1020 Chapala.
  • 3 to 4 Shots heard near Waller Park in Santa Maria.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Thursday:

  • Seizures, Milpas at Montecito at the Bus Stop.
  • Aggressive Panhandler outside Starbucks in the 500 Block of State Street with Black and White Dog smoking marijuana Whoa! That must be a police dog!
  • First West Cota homeless jerk blocking the sidewalk along with another guy and the black and white marijuana smoking dog.
  • Smoke investigation outside Newton and APS.
  • Near Earl Warren a stray dog, woman in a green truck saved the dog from entering the freeway. Seems like dogs are drawn to the freeway like a moth to light.
  • Illegal camper blocking the door at 7 Ashley Ave.
  • Medical emergency for an unconscious subject 300 Block of La Marina.
  • Somewhere a female SBPD Officer collared a wanted parolee.
  • First block of East Sola subject refusing to leave a residence.
  • Subject needs to pick up property from a homeless camp, Keep the Peace 100 Block of Calle Cesar Chavez.
  • Confined dog 1200 Block of Mission Ridge.
  • SBPD Premise check RR Tracks and East Cabrillo.
  • 1145 Suicidal male committed 273.5 Domestic violence toward his girlfriend and broke her phone. Smooth move, Ex-lax. In possession of a knife known to hang out in Alameda Park.
  • 415 Domestic in the 200 Block of North Milpas.
  • Fall victim head injury 3600 Block Santa Fee Lane.
  • 200 Block of West Gutierrez assist mental health placing someone in Mental Health Hold.
  • Possible structure Fire 6800 Cortina Drive smell of burning rubber and smoke, no fire.
  • 4500 Block of Calle Real overdose on medication.
  • Road Rage bicyclist 242's Assaults motorcyclist Anacapa and Figueroa last heard motorcyclist was chasing bicyclist, heard no more.
  • Jack Ash shot a crow with a bb gun 100 Block of San Nicolas.

    Will that's it outta me for now. Rough week, I am beat. Belinda is still in Cottage. I hope they keep her awhile till she's good and healthy. Turns out she was injured Monday and was bleeding internally over 24 hours. Holy Baloney she's tougher than me! Anyway Have a Great Weekend and Dog willing we will see you on Monday. PS Thanks for all the Support. Later, Roger


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