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Scanner Reports 6-23-14
updated: Jun 23, 2014, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Monday-Monday. What a Crazy Weekend. It makes me Happy I don't have a Life anymore. I wouldn't want to go out and move around in all those crowds. I stayed home and listened to the Scanner and heard one person after another being ran for Wants and Warrants, many in violation of rules of parole for partying. The first year I was here I somehow ended up at the end of the Solstice Parade with a group of other Drunks, mostly homeless. We all had bottles and we were all dancing along with the parade. That is something no one would ever catch me doing sober is dancing. It's not that I don't like dancing it's that I am the worse dancer in the history of the world. But when drunk I'm the Beast and everyone best get the HELL out of my way. I get embarrassed just remembering the horror of it. But that day at the end of the Solstice parade with my fellow drunken Zombie Brothers we were doing some sort of dance to the beat of the Solstice drums and were kind of in order. The police left us alone. A great time was had by all. We danced all the way to Alameda Park that day; it hasn't happened since. I don't think I attended many Solstice parades drunk after that. I don't think any of my Brother Zombies are alive anymore, but when I picture the Solstice Parade in my mind I can see everyone from 30 some years back dancing in spirit in that parade, many are now gone including the people involved in starting the parade.

I learned when I moved here many years ago those people lived here in the same small community I do now in the 200 Block of South Milpas. One of the guys was a gardener at Lotusland and grew exotic plants here on the property. Of course it all looks like HELL now; one would never know. We do have one gardener here and he keeps his living space beautiful but the rest of us don't move so good no more so some of the property looks abandoned and over grown. I have nightmares that Billy Goodnick might show up someday with a camera and take pictures of how NOT to let your garden grow.

Solstice is one of those celebrations in town where people party and get so drunk they come to in strange places everywhere in town. Like bus stops, front porches, gardens, the cemetery, downtown on the sidewalk, on the beach, now it's pretty normal for people to wake up in those places because there are many homeless people out there. Every day I hear Illegal Camper calls. One day I believe that there will be more homeless people than residents in our country. Why pay rent when you don't have to? I heard a camper call on Shoreline on Saturday; an SUV with a running generator nearby. Not sure if it was attached to the vehicle or not there used to be a guy here on the East Side slept in his car and had a generator on the roof. It was kinda weird looking generator on a Buick; it really was not that big of a vehicle. There are people living here in Santa Barbara in homes they own that used to be homeless sleeping in the bushes, squatting in peoples' yards, or sleeping in their vehicles, they went Potty outside too. For a detailed list of whom they are send 99.99 to Roger Dodger C/O Edhat...Just kidding.

In the Day we all had a Good Time and now it's someone else's turn so on and so forth. I was on Amazon the other day and found a book I wrote a story in many, many, years ago so I ordered it. It was that International Runaway Bestseller: Roommates from Hell True Tales of the Tormented. I wrote about an experience I had renting a room in Santa Barbara under the name Johnathan. I'm getting my copy next week.

Hairs Thy Blessed Scanner Roni Reports, FRYday:

  • 23103 White Van backwards the wrong way on DLV 99 Dodge.
  • 5 Gunshots heard, 2 reporting parties Hot Springs near Olive Mill.
  • 415 Domestic 1000 Block of East Ortega.
  • Group of Homeless near Los Banos pool.
  • 800 Block of San Pasqual Son took parents vehicle without permission while possibly under the influence of Meth. It's a Nissan and the back window is gone replaced with a black plastic trash bag.
  • On North Patterson a Smoke check.
  • On Central a Telephone pole fire.
  • 1100 Block of La Vista suspicious subject looking in windows of homes.
  • Drug activity in a white vehicle parked in the parking lot of Vons, Turnpike possibly in front of the store.
  • A 22 Year Old male violated a restraining order by approaching the people that have the order against him in Parking lot 7. He let them see that he had a knife on him not by brandishing the knife but by holding it to intimidate. Too bad he ran away before the police could respond. He drove away in a lite blue Mustang.
  • Medical Emergency heat stroke Calvary Cemetery.
  • Medical Emergency at MTD, Chest pains.
  • Modoc at Hollister possible 459 across the street from U-Haul.
  • Premise check Chase Palm Park Extension.
  • 800 Block of Orange shooting a BB gun at a fence and a window.
  • 242 Assault at Motel 6 3505 State Street Fire and Medics on scene.
  • 484 Theft of Beer 7-11 3400 Block of State Street.
  • 20002 Laguna and Islay Drunk, DUI or both Driver hit parked vehicles at that location and ran thru a fence on Las Tunas looking for highway 101.
  • Report of skateboards smoking marijuana in the 1000 Block of DLV.
  • Vehicle and Vegetation Fire 400 Block of Winchester Road.
  • Suspicious Package 800 Block of Dover Lane.
  • Medical Emergency for seizures Ortega at Milpas.
  • Medical Emergency for a code 40 vomiting blood Amtrak track side.
  • Possible Panga Boat sighting Southbound just North of El Cap State Beach.
  • Medical Emergency First Block of North Voluntario.
  • 459 Burglary at Jones and Rosemary involving a brown Chevy Trailblazer funny I had 2 reports over the weekend involving a brown Chevy SUV
  • Possibly involved in burglaries the 2nd one was in IV attempt 459 Burglary and those suspects were pulled over, maybe these are the same burglars.
  • Report of juveniles with air soft guns shooting at birds in Bonnet Park.
  • Fairview at Hollister Drunk sitting at the Bus Stop.
  • Motorcyclist Down Los Carneros at Hollister.
  • 5150 off meds Garden at Yananoli.
  • Alcohol overdose in the County.
  • 23103 Reckless white Toyota Camry almost crashed into several vehicles Cliff and Meigs.
  • Fall victim code 40 300 Block of West Montecito.
  • Medical Emergency inside the door at CVS 1109 State Street.
  • Illegal Camper 500 Block of West Junipero.
  • Medical Emergency on Rincon Road for a driver who got out of his vehicle and is incoherent.
  • 415 Neighbors on Pozzo Circle.
  • Shots heard on Uranus, (that's gotta hurt). Shots heard on Uranus reporting party calling from Venus huh? So that must mean that the reporting party is a woman.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Saturday:

  • Power outage 5:30 am A couple minutes.
  • 242 Assault at the Circle K on South Milpas (the suspect was a friend of mine yes me Roger Dodger who I thought moved to Washington State Boy! the things you hear on the Scanner!) Anyway code 2 Medics for the Assault victim.
  • Power Outage number 2 around 7am.
  • 1145 Suicide North End of Santa Barbara.
  • 242 Assault 100 Block of East Micheltorena.
  • 10852 Investigation 1000 Block of Anacapa missing vehicle.
  • 242 Assault by a 5150 Female at Tri County Produce she apparently struck an employee and was a bit combative when they took her away.
  • Vandalism to a sign at the church 1500 Block of Santa Barbara Street.
  • SBPD on a urinater at State and Anapamu.
  • Found Property Ortega and Chapala.
  • Report of someone cutting up watermelons in the middle of the street at the Solstice Parade.
  • Keep the Peace First Block of West Mountain tenant Landlord dispute.
  • 1000 Block of State Street Intoxicated subject fell down and got a boo boo on his booty.
  • Downtown Parking does not want subjects watching the parade from the upper levels of their parking garages.
  • Open Mike on Channel one SBPD Police channel I heard a city police officer say that he felt like a "Real Dick." I have waited all of my life to hear that. Could it be they are human?
  • 242 Assault investigation at Cottage Emergency, occurred on Stearns Wharf.
  • 711 West Cota Dumpster Fire.
  • Lost Pedestrian downtown cannot find his party.
  • Winchester Canyon overdose.
  • County on Pine directly across from College a male dragging an unconscious female into a residence, subjects both in their 50's.
  • Smoke Odor outside USA Gas 200 Block of North Milpas.
  • Medical Emergency Allergic reaction Diabetic 81 year old female at the Double Tree 600 East Cabrillo.
  • Check the Welfare extremely code 40 female Montecito at Castillo.
  • Dogs always return to their vomit so it is said and sometimes so do criminals 211 Robbery Suspects from May the 11th from a robbery at Pershing Park are back per the victim over the Scanner not sure if they were arrested or what.
  • 242 Assault confetti Egg Victim suffered a head laceration didn't hear where that happened.
  • Somewhere in the County, a 7 year old called 911 Because he got a Spanking.
  • Large amount of out of control Bees 1200 Block of Santa Barbara Street.
  • SBPD on a group at Alice Keck Park.
  • 3100 Block of Highway 246 Lumber fell on someone's leg and broke it.
  • Medical Emergency for seizures at the Recovery Ranch.
  • Medical Emergency at Sola and Santa Barbara Street for someone bleeding profusely from the nose.
  • 200 Block of East Sola medical emergency for seizures.
  • 415 Unknown type 1400 Block of Lou Dillion.
  • 242 Assault First Block of Calle Cesar Chavez victim suffered facial lacerations code 3 Medics.
  • SBPD running subjects for Wants and warrants some are not allowed to be drinking as part of their parole, or probation so off to Jail they go.
  • Loud Party rear lot 1510 Garden.
  • At some park in the County there was a suspicious Subject an adult dressed as Spider Man on a Jungle Gym talking with children. The reporting party was off duty police. This Spider Man just showed up and did not personally know any of the children there.
  • Theft of a Passport 6700 Block of Trigo.
  • Combative Patient on a medical at a care home for the elderly 325 West Islay.
  • 415 Domestic City parking lot 2.
  • 415 Neighbors fighting 4000 Block of Via Lucero.
  • 23152 Drunk Driver in black Ford Ranger with a camper shell last seen on Micheltorena.
  • 415 Female drinker raising HELL at Zodo's.
  • 415 Code 40 DRUNK yelling on the corner of DLV and Los Olivos. 4 Times on Saturday police were called on Dan O Book em Dan O! This time the Fifth time Dan O Got booked.
  • 20002 Hit and Run Shoreline at Harbor Way.
  • Medical Emergency at the County Jail.
  • Loud Potty 800 Block of Cliff Drive.
  • 6800 Block of Sabado Tarde attempt 459 Burglary involving a tan or brown Chevy SUV. SBSO had the vehicle in the 800 Block of Camino Del Sur it was registered out of Santa Barbara city a 1998 GMC Unknown if it was involved in any crime.
  • DRUNKS Blocking the entrance to Hotel Santa Barbara in the 500 Block of State Street.
  • Loud Potty 2000 Block of Castillo.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Sunday:

  • 10851 Stolen Auto Blue Honda Accord last seen on Mahoney at Betteravia in Santa Maria or Betteravia at Mahoney in Santa Maria.
  • SBPD was on a group of subjects at Plaza Del Mar.
  • Illegal Camper 600 Block of Olive.
  • Missing subject in the 4300 Block of Harmony went for a hike and never came home.
  • Suspicious Backpack Shoreline at South Patterson open pack with women's clothing and alcohol thrown about.
  • SBPD on an occupied vehicle 100 Block of East Haley.
  • Fall victim in the parking lot 315 West Carrillo.
  • SBPD on a group at Oak Park Tennis Courts wondering if anyone plays tennis there anymore or has the courts been taken over?
  • Medical Emergency for a 11 month old child previously choking reporting party worried there might be more food stuck in his windpipe.
  • Wires down in a tree, tree on fire Hillview at Lakeview.
  • Medical Emergency at County Jail ill subject.
  • 415 Domestic on West Camino Cielo.
  • 3 Males smoking the WEED in the 1000 Block of Chino, Larry, Moe, and Curley.
  • Gas leak in a dorm UCSB Campus building 890.
  • Shots on the Beach heard near the Bacara Security checking.
  • Out of Control subject at Cottage Hospital 3 West just above the E.R. Ripping things off the walls and punching holes in the walls, 320 West Pueblo SBPD Calmed him down they have a way of doing that.
  • Suspicious Illegal Camper on Stagecoach in a white Buick at night sits outside with a campfire been there 3 days reporting party finds this suspicious.
  • Parking violation at Stevens Park.
  • Suspicious Subject at Garden and Yananoli wearing a grey hoodie, grey shorts carrying a large knife.
  • 415 At the Laundromat over a Dog Bite 315 Meigs Road.
  • Suspicious Subject in Parking lot 13 looking in vehicles neck and face tattoos wearing a blue ball cap.
  • County Subject sitting on top of a motorhome screaming possibly in the 3400 Block of Cedar Street. I hope his name isn't Jack because someone is going to have to help Jack off the roof of that Motorhome.

    Will that's enough outta me for now. Have a Beautifully, Wonderful Monday and Dog willing we will see you on Wednesday. Later, Roger



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